conversations in reverse

 

 The summer's here seemed to be tolerable. Maybe it had something to do with the fact he now lived in the mountains instead of a more temperate-like environment. The cool air allowed him to think better. It was fresher than being on the ground — he didn't know how to explain it. It was just... better. Crispier, mintier, the definition of a breath of fresh air. Nonetheless, he took deep breaths often and enjoyed the way they felt, not forgetting the mugginess of the summers he'd endured before. Alexei moved towards the cache with three daces hanging from his maw. They were all about ten inches each. He'd gone on a brief fishing trip, not long enough to catch a lot, but just enough. The male set them aside and shuffled to off, letting himself relax not far off from it. 

 Alexei almost always waited until everyone else had been fed before he ate himself. His sleek figure didn't negate the curvy hips he had, which he'd gotten from his mother. It made him somewhat insecure and reserved when it came to eating — mostly in front of others. 

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^^Cirilla had been trying her damnest, alright? She had been trying her damnest to find something to love about the mountains, but in comparison to the beautiful home that they had abandoned, the mountains were… well, to Cirilla, they were pretty pathetic.

They had mountains in the tundra; nice pretty, snow capped mountains, and mutant deer that Cirilla had never been able to find again, and the temperatures were do-able. The tundra had been the perfect palace for Cirilla, and now she was stuck here.

In the mountains. Covered in sweat, looking like a miserable, wet demon. She had once been proud of her fluffy coat, but it was no longer fluffy and beautiful. She had stopped caring for it; her tail was no longer a curl in a cinnabon fashion, but relaxed and slopped behind her like an unhappy ocra.

She was trotting about when she spotted it. The male coming back from his trip, with fish in mouth. She froze in her tracks, going over to the cache to sniff at them, and then she walked right up to him.

“Hi there!”

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 Alexei had found himself relaxed in a laying down position with his paws set over one another in an 'x' like fashion. There was movement around him, which he expected since it was only the evening. He had trouble sleeping at night and found it easier to go to sleep in the middle of the day or just when dawn was brimming — if he hadn't already set out to fish, that is. The rustling became clear when a wolf-like canine came trotting towards the cache. She was gorgeous, in a way that he'd never seen before. Her coloring was something like the tiger he'd met recently, stripped of a brown and black pattern. When he realized he'd been looking for a few moments too long, his gaze shifted back to his paws. Though almost like he'd been caught red-handed, the woman made her way over to talk. She was friendly enough right off the bat to talk first, offering him a 'hi there!' He wasn't used to wolves being so forward. But he politely gazed up at her, putting on a small smile.

 "Hello." The angler hummed out, straightening himself up a little. Next to her, he felt tiny. She was built with the stature of a warrior and the gentleness of a friendly neighbor. He was glad that someone was willing enough to make conversation with him. He hadn't met a lot of fellow Shiroshikians lately. Alexei had let them be, knowing they were all still recovering from the trauma that had unfolded in their old home. "Would you like some of the fish I caught?" He asked, missing her quick sniff of the cache when he cast his gaze away from her. "Oh! Sorry. I'm Alexei, by the way. I'm.. newish here. To Shiroshika, I mean." He gestured around them towards the borders that they'd recently moved into. The least he could do was try to be social, to make this place actually home.

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^^The bumblebee of Shiroshika had been in a funk since the failed slaughter attempt on the tiger, and hadn’t really been herself. The condition of her coat, and the status of her tail told all that knew her well, and she honestly didn’t try to hide it. Perhaps things could get better, if she went back home, but those chances were low; dangerously low, just like hunger. She hadn’t been hungry, but the smell of the fish must have woken her stomach. She debated if she wanted to turn back to grab a fishie.

She had felt it, too; the staring. She had been marked by the tiger; of course they stared, unaware that their leader had the same marking, for Cirilla hadn’t seen her since before the attack. She wondered a bit, if this was what Charaxes felt, when folks stared at her after her attack - though a fucked up face, she felt, was somehow worse than a missing leg.

Nonetheless, Cirilla beamed right up to this stranger, whom she’d never met - silently wondering just who the last face she’d seen outside of her only friend in the world. Everyone kept to themselves. Was it the trauma? Or something else? She hadn’t known, but eyes — er, her eye lingered over him, deciding not to comment on the whole staring thing; she wasn’t like Charaxes.

Cirilla smiled at him, glad this one didn’t mind her friendly nature; some wolves didn’t take kindly to her. He mentioned the fish, and her stomach responded for her. This caused the dog to smile, awkwardly. “I think he was talking to me, thanks.” Cirilla responded, sarcastically, to her own stomach with a giggle and a nod of her head. “Hi there, Alexei. I’m Cirilla! I, um, saw you sitting here, and thought you looked lonely. Is this seat taken? Or, um, are you okay with company??” Suddenly shy and awkward, Cirilla? What gives?

This was totally not the reason, but she supposed, it was now.

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 In the evening sun, shadows danced from various sources. Longer ones were cast by the ominous spirals that were carved from years of erosion — though they seemed so unnatural. Alexei imagined a beast bigger than what could fit the realms of size in his head, digging these vast caverns beneath them, sheltering them from what soars high above. Something that they could not fathom. A God? It was the closest thing that Alexei could pin it to. 

 The woman stood in front of him, with her happy self. It was authentic and pure. Something Alexei had a hard time finding. A genuine smile found its way over his maw, chuckling softly when her stomach answered for her. The way she reacted to her stomach caused another laugh to fall from his lips. How long had it been since he'd laughed like that? The corners of his eyes crinkled and his canines showed with his wide mouthed laugh, head tilted up so the sun lit his violet eyes a shade brighter. "Please eat. I can always fish more. As much as your stomach desires." His own voice was playful, which surprised him. It'd been one of his jobs, going back and forth with fish hanging from his mouth, de-scaled and gutted so no one would have to do the dirty work. He didn't mind it. It made a place for his mind to go instead of wandering off into treacherous parts of his mind. 

 Cirilla seemed friendly, maybe a little over friendly, but he couldn't complain. It made up for what he lacked in social anxiety. It seemed wiped from the table in this conversation. She also speaks fast, mostly in questions. His head tilted to the side before he shook his head. "This seat is not taken. I'd love some company, Cirilla!" He tried to match her excitement. Lexi shifted, pushing up on his front legs and moving himself into a sitting position. "So... Have you lived in Shiroshika a long time?" The angler asks, glancing back to the food cache. He wondered if the pack had been around a long time or been formed out of a band of friends — he knew what that was like. Nostalgia ran through him like adrenaline, pumping in his and shading the world in a softer light. 'Oh, those were the days. With the world so bright and laid out ahead.'

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^^Cirilla had always been like a bubble, or water balloon, that was just filled with confetti and warm fuzzy feelings. It was as if she spoke, spitting that same confetti and warm feelings towards everyone she met, though sometimes it didn’t really stick. There was a smile on Alexei’s face, and though Cirilla couldn’t quite tell if it was genuine, or if he was just smiling to be polite, she’d take it all the same; her spirits lifting up, and her tail coming to way a little faster behind her.

And then he laughed, and Cirilla fell in love with the sound of his laughter. So light and so pure, Cirilla wanted to continue being funny so she could hear more of his happiness. He had a handsome laugh and a handsome face, Cirilla was glad to have stumbled upon someone with a good soul.

She goes, quickly, to grab a fish, then coming back to settle beside him, perhaps a little too close, as if they were more than strangers, but she chooses to lay on her belly, instead of a sitting position, as he comes to sit.

She began to descale the fish, though slowly, removing one scale at a time. She is most obviously not skilled at eating fish, knowing only enough to know about the scales. “Kind of! I think I must have joined sometime after Vera attacked Gyrfalcon..? ” She would recall, though silently, how she had found the girl by the river. “Reiko tricked me into joining, so that I would eat from the caches without feeling bad. I've been here ever since! What about you? When did you join?”

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 The woman seemed quirky. Nice, but something off. Though he wasn't one to judge. He could be awkward, his mind could wander, and sometimes he went on and on about things that didn't matter. Everyone had their "something offs." Hurriedly, she went to the cache of food that Alexei had been filling as much as he could. When she came back, she sat very close to him. At first, he didn't know what to think. It didn't occur to him to slide away, not wanting to appear rude. But in a way, after he thought about it, it was comforting. This is how pack mates were supposed to be, right? Close and friendly. It felt nice that they had progressed to something close like this. If it were left up to him, it would have taken months. 

 Cirilla quickly settled herself beside him, laying down in a comfortable spot. He, too, returned to his laying down, with his paws crossed over one another as he gazed back out over the towering spirals in the distance. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her slowly picking at the scales and wanted to offer his help — but she spoke before he could. Attacked? He'd met the three-legged woman before. That was how she lost her leg? A great sadness pressed into his heart for the woman. To lose a part of her... not just in the mental sense, like himself, but a physical part. But Cirilla continued on, explaining how Reiko caught her into the pack. She glossed over how Reiko "tricked" her, but it didn't sound so bad. It being because the woman could eat from the caches without feeling bad. "Oh, I see.. Was the attack long ago?" He asked, somewhat assuming already that it had to be, seeing as it was healed quite properly to be from the recent attack. Had Shiroshika always had enemies? 

 "Me? Oh... Recently!" He exclaimed, still trying to match her energy, "It was a few weeks before Shiroshika moved here to the Pass." Alexei hummed out, gazing beside him at her. His violet eyes caught hold of the fish still between her paws. "If you catch your teeth under the skin a little, after you pull some scales away... You can strip downwards and get the scales off easier. And if you take your canines and slit the bottom of the fish open, you can get all the guts out." He explained, tilting his head a little to the side before offering, "If you want I can do it for you?"

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^^Cirilla would eventually get to the meat, it would just take five billion lightyears, but eventually - her work would pay off. The dog was thankful that Alexei did not judge her for it. When he spoke again, Cirilla glanced up at him with a scale in her mouth. She gently set it down on the ground before speaking.

“It was about a year ago that I joined, come to think of it! I guess time really flies by when everything’s falling apart, huh?” Cirilla gave a bitter laugh and the shake of her head. “By the time I met Gyrfalcon, the limb was already gone and healed..” Cirilla said, thoughtfully - though coming to nod her head as he told her when he’d joined.

“A few weeks before the move, but after the attack on the tiger?” Cirilla hadn’t recalled seeing him there, in the battle that took her eye. She tilted her head at him with the wag of her tail, nodding her head and sheepishly pushing the fish towards him.

“I will be forever in your debt if you could, please.”

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 The afternoon offered a warmth that carried into the night. Up in the mountains, there were uncontrollable bursts of wind that wound their way through the valleys and spires, cooling down the Pass. The heat passed over Alexei like a warm hug, reminding him of the joy that summer could bring. He thought back to the dense jungle that seemed like a lifetime ago, the mugginess of it, and glad he was here, where the heat did not cling to his pelt in a wet way. Cirilla continued on about her history, telling him it'd been a year since she joined Shiroshika. And that the leg was healed when she joined. Alexei let out a small breath. It'd been a while since it happened. Which didn't make it any better, but at least there was some time between the incident and Cirilla joining. "That's awful... I think I met her a little before Reiko's wedding." He says, recalling the time where Quicksilver was looking for flowers and they'd all just ran into each other. 

 "Yes. After the attack." There was something that boiled in the bottom of his stomach — guilt? He didn't know why he was experiencing this emotion, as if there was something to feel guilty about. And yet, he couldn't help the fact that maybe if he'd been here before the attack, maybe things would have been different. He didn't even know he felt that deeply about them, and yet the feeling had wiggled its way into his heart. He was indeed home. 

 Cirilla pushed the fish to him and he took it between his paws, holding the fish where the tail was up, and taking his sharp teeth downward in quick sequence. The angler did it without faltering. This was one of the few things he was good at, and prided himself on doing it well. Somehow, he hoped his father would be proud of him, even if he didn't know he was still continuing their traditions. After the skin was peeled, scales scraped off with thin flesh attacked, discarded to the side, Alexei took his paw and used two claws to slice open the bottom, letting the less flattering parts fall onto the ground. With the nasty parts out of the way, he leaned over, setting it on her paws again, and pushing the mess away to the side. He'd clean it up later. "There you go." The man splashed with red hummed. "So, uhm, what do you do for fun around here?" He asked, trying to make light, genuine conversation. 

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^^Cirilla began to wonder if the two girls would be as close in friendship and in love, if she’d witnessed the attack, or been around when that had happened. Perhaps in another life, she’d have those answers, but alas, she did not. Despite Kuhn’s souvenirs on her face, and the souvenir that Cirilla had taken from Vera herself, Cirilla was normally a naturally happy gal to be around.

But in telling Alexei about the history, something clicked. Had the pack always had trouble and drama, waiting around every corner? Vera had attacked twice, and then the bullshit with Kuhn, and all within a year. What was to happen now? Kuhn was still at large, and now they moved south, under the idea that the north wasn’t safe.

In silence, Cirilla watched him peel the fish back and Cirilla smiled sheepishly towards him in thanks as she devoured the fish. His question caused her to smirk, and she lifted up her head to mutter three, very serious, words at him with a certain bitterness that didn’t feel right in her mouth.

“We attack tigers.”

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 The air had gone cold as soon as it came out of his mouth. It felt like it, at least. Maybe it was just a warning that fall was on its way, a cold front moving in, but as Cirilla's face morphed into a serious expression — which he never thought possible for her. Which honestly, he'd only known her for a few minutes. But she seemed so bubbly and spastic creature that didn't have a bone in her body that which could settle on one topic. But then her words seemed to echo as they spilt from her lips. 

'We attack tigers.' 

 Had he stepped on a sore spot? Alexei's entire face went blank, eyes wide and ears tilted back apologetically. He'd looked as if he'd gotten slapped across the face for speaking out of turn. "I-I..." His eyes shifted from side to side, never completely settling on her — where her scar blinded her. "Right. Yes. Of course." They were probably all still traumatized and didn't have free time. "Maybe we could train sometime." He commented, trying to retain the peace, and show her that he was going to fight with them if it happened again. 

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^^It was cute, wasn’t it, to watch Alexei squirm? Cirilla sure thought so, as she giggled towards him with the wave of her paw; any trace of that bitter seriousness gone as if it had never even happened. It didn’t feel right on her tongue; didn’t feel good coming out of her mouth and ruining the moment.

She couldn’t be serious, not really, despite the high position that she held within the pack. Dutchess. Sounded sexy, for someone with half a face. How on earth Gyrfalcon still looked at her and felt any sort of positive emotion was beyond her.

“It’s better if we all just forget about it.” Cirilla muttered softly, dipping her head with half a smile. “Though training would be nice, I suppose.. ” The Akita allowed her voice to trail off, glancing over at him.

“How’ve you been holding up? Anything you need help with?”

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 Alexei dropped the subject as soon as she spoke. He knew it must have been hard, tougher than he could know. He'd been attacked by crusaders at one point, — three bloodthirsty wolves, one of them grasping around his neck. If it hadn't been for... his ex-boyfriend, he probably would have perished. He didn't speak of it though, keeping his thoughts to himself. The two experiences couldn't compare, they were too different. "Whenever you'd like, we can train. I need to learn more about fighting." He commented, knowing that he'd made it through his last battle with brazen luck. 

 "Hm? Oh, I'm alright. It's been nice... having a home." Even if he didn't know everyone, it was pleasant to have a safe place to lay his head at night. "I don't think so. The most I've been trying to do is just help with the caches and meet everyone... Slowly but surely, I am, though." He hummed out with a warm smile, a little but there all the same. "If you need anything ever, I'm here too." The fisherman hoped that most of Shiroshika knew this, that he'd do what they needed, even the grunt work. 

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^^Shiroshika had been peaceful and welcoming when Cirilla joined last year. And then Vera happened; then Kuhn had happened. Now, they seemed a bit closed off, didn’t they? Reiko had lost her samurai, a white wolf coated in blood reds, and Vander had lost a mighty warrior.

If they had been better prepared, would it have helped? Alexei seemed keen on wanting to train, and Cirilla supposed it would give her something to do; something to focus on. Gyrfalcon could make amazing pelts, and Cirilla… could train people? Her eyes narrowed in thought. She didn’t know much about fighting, but she supposed, she had to start somewhere, right?

“Training sounds nice! We can get to know each other better that way, too.” Cirilla wanted, and desperately needed friends; she had no one outside of Gyrfalcon.

“Let’s meet up in the morning?”

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 Alexei's ears perked up, and so did the rest of his body. If she wanted to train... maybe that meant he'd have a new friend within Shiroshika. That'd be one step up from where he was now... only knowing Reiko, truly. He'd met a few others but nothing grew beyond that. "Alright! That sounds good to me." The man shifted, pushing himself to all fours. If they were going to train tomorrow, then they'd best both get some rest. With a warm smile still on his face. "It was really nice to meet you, Cirilla. I'll see you tomorrow!" 

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