novocain, never same, giving local luck

 It was still all so impossible to believe.

 Everything he ever knew, every person he'd ever met — gone. Like none of it ever existed. Those were the only metrics of loss, however; the dark loner had no friends nor family. No home, no pack, nothing to truly call his own. So was there really anything lost? Simply the comfort of the familiar. The routine. Nothing of value... just like him. His life. He was truly worthless now. His hard-earned reputation, the worth of his sharply honed skills. All that work, three years of his life. His whole life.

 Yuji had found a spot not too far from the bottom of a waterfall. A nice, dark cave where the distant crashing of water rumbled through the cave walls in a way that helped soothe him. Very occasionally it would lull him into sleep. But sleep never lasted long; not when the night terrors clawed their way back in. It had to have been everything that had happened recently... the shattering of his entire life that had brought the demons back to the forefront of his mind to continue finding their enthralling glee in tormenting him. Rousing him from his sleep so violently he woke screaming and shaking uncontrollably. Thank the gods he could hide his absolute pathetic shame here.

 Weak.

 The man had made his "nest" at the very back of the decently sized cave where it curved to the right and narrowed from the sides and the top, making a cozy little cubby for him to curl up into a tight ball in. Nest that was still just cold, damp, hard bare rock. Why bother trying to make it comfortable? A waste of time. Front paws tucked up under his chest and hind leg pressing against his cheek as he tucked his nose behind his hind paw and lean, scraggly tail. The tremors still wracked him, coming and going in waves. An involuntary half-whine-half snarl ripped through the relative silence of the cave — even piercing clearly through the constant deep, distant thrumming rumble of the waterfall.

---

@Kentaro just innocently start writing and the character's depression takes the wheel. good lord. this'll be a fun one i'm sorry

---

the staff team luvs u

Kentaro had wriggled his way right into this new Order and nothing would be able to drag him back out of it. The island they had settled in was almost too fun to traverse, dangerous and thrilling, and Kentaro could spend hours mapping it out, learning each and every nook and cranny. It would be good to memorize the place, wouldn't it? There seemed to be no immediate threats, but that did not mean they would not come, and Kenta, for all of his brashness, liked to be prepared. 

Today he made his way through an area riddled with waterfalls, nimble paws taking him safely down the slick rocks from top to bottom with only minimal slipping. He liked to think that the dexterity was why he'd been nicknamed after a river otter, and not just because he was small, brown, and slippery. 

Though... realistically it was probably because he was small, brown, and slippery. 

He'd been mid-step when he heard the sound - this horrible whining growl that had him freezing for a moment. Perhaps the fighting wasn't as faraway as he thought, he mused, ears angling toward the source of the sound. On silent paws, he made his way round the waterfall and was unsurprised to find a hidden cave tucked behind, supposedly where the voice had originated. Cautious in his approach, still squinting as his eyes adjusted from clear daylight to the shadowy cove, Kentaro stepped inside. 

The small man's eyes locked onto a darker shape toward the back of the cave, gaze narrowing further as he tried to make out what it could be before he fixed his expression into something more open and approachable, an easy smile forming on his maw and tail swinging behind him. Still, he stayed near the entrance, unwilling to spook the stranger. 

"Hey, there," he greeted, as though this was a normal way to meet someone. "That sound come outta you?"

the staff team luvs u

 The degrading, self-loathing thoughts simmered in his head. Seething. Boiling. Burning him from the inside out. The feelings of loss and that immediate vitriolic, stinging reply: of what?

 Of.... what?

 What did he ever have in the first place? That reputation he thought he had, those skills unique to him and all his own. Surely those things had been real. He'd carried out jobs. He was sought out. For a reason... right? If Yuji had truly been a useless bastard he would've just been wandering the world a lonely mute having rarely seen another of his own kind let alone been spoken to. But again — what did it matter now? Three years. Three long, hard, hard years. The world has been his. He had known much of the land he was born on.

 It was as if starting over was a complete impossibility. He might as well just kill himself. How could he start anew? He didn't know what to do, how to do it. How would he even make contacts again? The coal wolf huffed deeply, inhaling afterward quickly before huffing again. Maybe, somehow, this was all just a dream. Yuji would wake up soon. He had to.

 As his mind began to wander again, deeper and deeper into the incredibly dark cesspit of the depression wracking his heart and soul, the sound of another's friendly voice hit his ears like fangs through his hide. The man sucked a breath in through tightly gritted and bared teeth as his body reacted aggressively as it tended to do these days. Four long legs sprung him bolt upright, hard into the unmoving cave ceiling that had only been about half a foot above his back laying down. From the top of his skull to his pelvis, he slammed right into that rock and when he did he finally let out that startled yelp that wanted to come out when the stranger had first spoken. The reaction so instantaneous that the other words were nearly missed as they mixed with the blinding fillbody pain.

 Gods damn it.

 A low very pissed off growl escaped his lips; long and drawn out and hanging threateningly in the air until it trailed off after a few seconds. Till just the sound of the waterfall a ways off was the only thing that was heard — at least to this peace-shatterer. He was breathing unevenly and heavily and hoped the weakness wasn't too obvious. But fuck that hurt so much. He stepped forward out of his little nesting cubby hole just enough so he could stand comfortably upright.

 “The fuck is with you people?” he snarled unpleasantly. “How the hell did you even find me, asshole?” Why did everyone here like to scare the shit out of him? Was it a pack tradition or some shit? Yuji's bright eyes squinted as he tried to take in detail of his newfound, unwanted companion, but with him standing near the entrance of the cave, the backlight silhouetted him so all he could see was a black creature in the shape of a wolf. He was small though, like himself, though even now he could see that this fellow easily outweighed him. Probably a good idea to be rude as hell to someone who had you with your back literally to the wall with nowhere to go and no way to escape except past them.

 But fuck it, what did it matter? A wary growl rumbled out of his throat once more; steady and ongoing, quietly lingering as he stared at this new face. Partly growling because he was pissed, partly because holy shit did he actually injure himself? And partly because he was still pissed.
the staff team luvs u

Oh. Huh.

Kentaro hadn't been expecting that response. 

The poor guy shot up like he'd been struck by lightning, back and head slamming hard into the rock that had been sheltering him. Looked like it hurt, too - and it did, judging from how sharp that yelp was. Jumpy little guy, wasn't he? Or, kind of little... Kentaro supposed they were about the same size, though the stranger was spindly like a spider, ink black and snow white contrasting harshly against one another. He looked disgruntled, put-out, frazzled. Growling like Kentaro was the one who did it. 

And Kentaro couldn't quite help it. Couldn't prevent the wobbly smile from growing on his lips, fighting back laughter, because it was kind of funny. 

The fuck is with you people?

How the hell did you even find me, asshole?

Ha. Okay, this guy was pretty funny. He continued his defensive grumbling, as though Kentaro was some kind of threat, like they weren't in the same group. Maybe they weren't? Was this a trespasser? Though he supposed that would be weird, crossing someone's borders just to go hide out behind a waterfall. 

An assassin, maybe?

"Dunno what you mean by you people," he hummed, golden gaze glittering with mischief and interest as he looked over the other man, eyes adjusting to the darkness. Skinny thing, wasn't he? "But if you were trying to hide, you should probably be quieter. I could hear you over the sound of the waterfall, so, not the best if you're trying to be stealthy." 

He tipped his head to the side, expression changing just a bit - still friendly, but just the slightest hint of suspicion in his eyes. "You part of the Order, or should I be concerned?" he drawled. If the man confirmed himself to be one of them, Kentaro would believe him at face value. He couldn't smell anything else on the stranger, but there were always ways to conceal one's scent. Maybe this was just a really good (albeit not very sneaky) hitman or spy. 

the staff team luvs u

 Of course, the assholery was not at all necessary. But it sure did feel right in the wrong sort of way. It was silly to take out one's anger and pain on someone else but it didn't usually stop him in the moment. Even in the shape he was in currently, Yuji couldn't stop himself from putting himself into potentially dangerous situations with his own stupid mouth.

 Besides. It was still safer to keep everyone at a distance. Not while his mind was not right. His heart, soul, body and mind were completely out of sync. He couldn't make a friend even if he actually tried. Though.... it honestly would do him no good to make enemies out of everyone in this Niawaki Key, which was to be his new "home". The man sighed, continuing to stand stiffly but allowing that growl he was holding in his throat to finally fizzle out. Eyes were adjusting a little to the backlight behind this stranger though he still couldn't make out much of him.

 Oh. And just his luck. This guy was a snide little shit. What a clever little guy. The dark wolf half-scoffed-half-snarled as his immediate response, right side of his lip raising to bear his teeth in an unimpressed scowl. Ears pinned back on his narrow head as he glared at the silhouette, lean, long tail swaying and twitching with annoyance. “I guess if i was trying to hide not only would I be quiet but I'd pick a better spot so no fools could intrude upon my solitude.” He clicked his teeth together as he tossed his head to the side; eyes staying firmly upon the smartass.

 He was beginning to see the other male's face a little bit better. Just enough to notice movement of the head, and at least a hint of some expression that at least didn't appear to be angry. So he wouldn't die here, shoved back into his napping spot to be his final resting place. “Do you think everyone you come upon is a dumbass?"” he returned, gritting his teeth in agitation through a clenched jaw. “Yeah. I'm a part of The Order.” The answer came not entirely unfriendly; just clearly still very annoyed and with a hint of seething sarcasm.

 “Now if you wouldn't mind getting the fuck out of the only exit so you can continue to bother me outside.” It wasn't a request as it came accompanied by another less severe growl, but still a warning to get a move on before his nerves got the better of him. The muscles in his legs, shoulders and thighs were shaking and he needed to get out into the open air where he wasn't literally trapped before he lost his marbles. Yuji did gather up just enough nerve to take a couple determined steps forward — not at all aggressively; just a very clear way to say "I mean it, move". Ears were still flattened loosely, long tail still swaying and giving as much body language hints as possible.
the staff team luvs u

A ray of sunshine, this guy.

Kentaro had come across few wolves so... snappy. Every line of the other man's body was wrought with tension, his face morphed into a snarl. And here Kentaro was, doing his best to seem as much not like a threat as possible. Fortunately for the black-and-white wolf, Kentaro wasn't the reactive type. 

"Didn't say you were a dumbass," he pointed out with a smirk. "But you did call me a fool." Indirectly, but still. 

Of course, Kentaro did take a step back when prompted, allowing the stranger room to exit. "Yes, sir," he acquiesced breezily, tail swishing as he watched the dark wolf step into the light. Poor guy'd probably been startled and felt trapped - maybe he'd be less snippy when he had room to run if he needed it. 

It was also a good thing to have a confirmation that he was, in fact, part of the Order. Much as he felt capable of it, Kentaro wasn't interested in a fight right now. 

And ...so you can continue to bother me outside. was as good an invitation as any to follow him out. 

"Sorry for surprising you back there," he said, golden eyes flicking sidelong to study his newfound, unwilling companion. "That was a pretty hard hit. You alright?" A good comrade would ask, right? Funny as it was when it happened, Kentaro didn't want the guy hurt.

the staff team luvs u