⚘ sustenance

it was wistful as much as it was vast. the land. saira was used to rotation, a life only a nomad could live but the yearning for a life worth settling into had always been apparent. she'd shoved it to the back of her mind, drowning it with opinions and thoughts until it was forgotten—shoved to the back of the shelf.

here, in the presence of all that seemed to be absent, she'd found company—however loose it might still be. she'd found faith. she'd found safety. and though be safe as it may, she was lost still, forever intertwined with the soul she didn't have.

her sister needed her and yet saira lavished herself instead with the comforts of company. how selfish could she be? saira's teeth ground behind gentle features as she watched the sporadic movements of a rat-looking thing. she might consider it cute if she were in the spirits, but all that remained was thinly-veiled self-loathing behind a bleeding heart.

her steps stalked, the sand silencing her approach while the rest of the world breathed around her.

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A day in halcyon.

It'd be reveled in, if only he felt it. Tongue pushing behind both canines, walking from the span of long dunes beyond the oasis. Sand covered the warm tufts of the man's coat, the inside of both ears fit with fresh matting and knots. Cracked, sweaty pads; dry nose; the sheen of the carnelian necklace upon his throat ripped of life. Firm ripples of muscle under taut skin that moved with each heavy step. Rugged, Mesen-ka was stiffly aware he looked anything but pleasant right now.

There was greasiness to this life. Not always was it so hidden.

A girl walked alone. She was within his path back to the palace, but he slowed near, kept a distance. Noticed the little vermin she tracked. Perhaps she'd be successful.
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she'd lurched. perhaps too soon, perhaps too slow, for the sporadic creature fled from her grasp before she'd even reached its shadow! the day yawned, she yawned; was it not tired? how long could the little thing go before it would simply fall into her paws? could it ever?

if not medicine, if not the search, if not religion or faith, song or dance, what would keep her here? if she could not hunt a creature smaller than she, then what?

behind her, something or someone lingered, and if she were her sister, she might've felt the footfall beneath the loosened sand at her feet. but she wasn't kamaria, so she remained oblivious. a child wrapped in the silks of a young adult trodding on uneasy legs, that was all she was. a woman playing dress up.

she lurched again, more sure-footed this time, and still! nothing. a third. a fourth. how long must she go? the sun ached just as much as she, wearing down on weak shoulders, bleeding warmth. she might bathe within it if she wasn't so adamant about catching the very thing resistant of her touch.

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She was clumsy. A rodent skittering just ahead at her feet, and yet still unable to enact a singular, final crush of the jaws. Ibrahim had done better at no more than a few months old.

Still, she was persistent. Unwilling to leave it be and accept a loss no matter the tiring of her body. Mesen-ka took a knee to sit, watch with a wrist hoisted up in the air. Watchful eyes stayed upon the silken girl. Perhaps there was a reason for the struggle. It was not too late to learn, and there was a certain amusement, maybe pride, that came with seeing another getting off their feet to try.
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she'd heard him then. the sand rustling beneath his weighted movements had given him away, completely spoiled his presence, and began a bloom of shame across saira's pale cheeks. how long had he been here? watching her struggle...watching her fail! the woman's brows pulled inward. “peeper.”

that was what she and her sister called watchers—stalkers. akashingo or not, she did not think any lay within this world. perhaps that was her mistake. but she was a woman. a trusting, gullible, and naive woman who wanted to believe she was safe. his presence, his outright stare, it made her question her safety in a way she hoped she didn't have to.

her brief stall was all the little creature needed to scurry off further in the sand and saira cursed beneath her breath.

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Failure.

Better luck next time. Coming to a stand, it was the first time he'd gotten named remotely similar. Mesen-ka did not let it cause offense. There was no blame to be had.

"It was my hope to not disturb your hunt with my lack of subtlety." The man's head motioned to his heavy paws. Supposed the ruggedness did no help, rolled a shoulder off to try and dispell some of the stuck sand. "It seems I have managed to do so regardless." Scarcely did Mesen-ka bow for none other than the goddess, but he offered one now that was quick and soft. "My apologies."
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as much as she wished it—to blame someone else for her shortcomings. saira could not. it was no one else's hand that guided her through this hunt, simply her own that pushed and shoved her into the sand until she rose with nothing. she was simply...ashamed someone else had seen her.

saira's shoulders drew up with a sharp breath. he apologized but it wasn't necessary. how could she explain that? “no.” she murmured, shaking her head softly as she took him in. “fault,” her brows furrowed in concentration. “mine.”

“mine.” she echoed, his bow catching her off-guard. she'd have to grow into the habit of exchanging them. she'd have to grow into the habit of many things if she were to stay. a leech, she would not be.

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"You'd have had it," he told her, confident.

Stretching out both legs and waiting for that good crack in his spine, Mesen-ka approached closer at a slow, lax gait. Tired from the long day, but still he would do it again without any shred of regret until he died. Was the way of things. Some of them had other ways, however, and for the life of this woman?

Well, her journey may have started with the small things. Little prey leading up to something big one day, or small. Whatever she'd make of herself in the land of Akashingo and their people. That was the beauty of their Pharaoh's rule. "I have yet to see you. You must be new. It is my duty to know all the names of those who walk our kingdom. What might be yours?"
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saira blew a huff at his words, her gaze dropping to her feet. “arrogant,” she shook her head. “no.” saira would've spent the entire day chasing that wretched creature if only so she didn't come back empty-handed. she wished to indulge just as much as the next, but how could she if she was incapable of providing such things to indulge upon?

he saw her struggle and yet he believed her to have caught it? foolish, though she would never say it aloud. he carried himself with a regality short of their rulers, but one worthy of any respect she had to give, still. perhaps he saw something within her she did not. maybe she never would, but she'd hold onto his word nonetheless.

“saira.” she'd utter after a short while, taking in his stature the closer he grew. he was stronger than her, taller too. he seemed the make of a warrior, but perhaps he was simply the information he'd given her—a hunter. better than her. how else could he have predicted her hunt? her brows rose as she raised her head to look at him, silently inviting him to reciprocate his own.

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"Ouch! Arrogant?" He can see it! But he sees more someone who is not confident. She is hard on herself for something so small. 

​​​​​"Mesen-ka. I am the medjay." But he wishes to be more of a mazoi today, and desires the treatment of one with a strong jodai like Khusobek to make the day a little easier with set tasks! Instead, he has to map out his own and ensure it was more than sufficient. But lately all he can think of his missing baby boy, @Aiman.

She's marked with Akashingo's scent. Faint, but it tells him enough. A fellahin is carrying back herbs nearby for the sesh. He catches her passing eye before she gets fat ahead. "Please, bring our new face remaining camel belly when you are done." Off the fellahin went, rushing for Tavina before it could make its round back. 

"She should be quick." ​​​He moves to get a drink from the waters, heatsick. "Are you a visitor.. Resident?"
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