chaos is a ladder

@Rafferty

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Edith had branched away from Calhoun and Warwick for the day. They'd been making good progress navigating the mountainous region, but something pulled her back to the temperate. She couldn't necessarily put a paw on the inspiration of her solo jaunt, but part of her suspected that it was the High Elk's doing. There was something that he needed to show her, and she would seek whatever it was out. 

The territory was underwhelming and seemingly unremarkable or anything to write home about. She paused at the crest of a hill that overlooked the grasslands and surveyed her surroundings. There was a herd not too far off—no more than a half-hour jaunt, but visible due to the lack of trees—and then something that caught her attention: a structure in the distance. She squinted and craned her neck in its direction, trying to make out the shape.

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 In an effort to seek out Elkshire per the Prince's instructions, Rafferty had...gone the wrong way. 

 Cursing when he realized he should have reached the pack lands by now, he turned around and started backtracking. 

 Loping along the gilded grasslands, he let his tongue loll as his muscles worked and burned. Cresting a hill, he all but laughed when he saw her, marveling at the sheer impossibility of it. 

 Trotting down to meet her, he let his tail flag high behind him, indulging in this new bit of knowledge he had but she did not.

 “Hello, Edith.”

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”Hello, Edith,” Rafferty said.

”Hello, Rafferty,” Edith replied through a smirk, ”I heard that you and my brother had some fun without me.” She had been surprised to hear that @Warwick had ran into him—and she had felt some jealousy when he had summarized their conversation.

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 Ugh.

 The thin flesh on the bridge of his nose wrinkled and stayed that way, like folded dough. 

 “I bet a lot of people have fun without you.”

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This wasn’t the first time that somebody had said something along the lines of what Rafferty had said and it wouldn’t be the last. She was usually unbothered by the sentiments—but for whatever reason— it stung coming from him.

Edith grinned; she wouldn’t let him see how it’d effected her.

”I’m an acquired taste.”

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 Yeah - like anchovies or pineapple on pizza. 

 Sighing, Rafferty swung his head to look at her square with his singular eye. “If I joined Elkshire, would you care?” Loathing the question itself, hating that he felt the need to even ask.

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”If I joined Elkshire, would you care?” he asked.

She looked him up and down, suspicious.

”Are you serious?”

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 “Yeah.”

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”As long as you don’t fuck anything up.” she replied. ”My pack is the most important thing to me—and I will make you pay if you do anything that fucks over my family.” Her tail flicked involuntarily at the thought; fucking with her family was her job.

She thrilled that he was joining—even if she hadn’t come off that way.

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 He scoffed, the fur along his shoulders bristling. 

 “Why would I want to fuck shit up? The rest of your family seems nice. Especially @Warwick and @Maral.”

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Edith saw this as an opportunity to confirm whether or not Rafferty liked her—whether or not she could get her hopes up about making a friend outside of her family.

”Because you don’t like me.”

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 Straw meet camel. When he spoke his voice cracked, splitting high, near keening.

  “Because you haven't been anything but nasty to me from the moment we met! You don't know me! You just choose to be mean because it's easier than stepping outside that single-lane narrow-ass tiny-tunnel of a worldview to be kind to someone DIFFERENT.”

 He snapped, snarling, showing teeth. “Why the fuck would I like you?”

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Their entire conversation had been chipping away at her—but this was what caused everything to crumble to the ground.

Everything hurt and it showed. Edith had shrunk under the force of Rafferty’s critique. Her eyes were rounded and wet with tears, her ears were pressed against her head, and her tail was tucked between her legs. She sucked in a sharp breath, trying to keep her tears at bay.

”You’re right,” she squeaked, ”You have no reason to like me.”

Was this what The High Elk had been trying to teach her? That she had been wrong in her thinking?

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 The balloon didn't deflate, it popped. 

 Rafferty looked at her, his gaze of suspicion softening to pity and glassing towards guilt. She tucked in, balled and defensive as if his petty speech had been a series of physical blows. 

 His ears twitched. “I won't hurt Elkshire. I want to be a part of a pack again. I want something familiar.” Or someone.

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“I won't hurt Elkshire. I want to be a part of a pack again. I want something familiar.” Rafferty answered.

”Okay,” Edith replied, avoiding his eye, ”I’ll stay out of your way.”

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 “And I'll stay out of yours.” He replied, his voice fully plush now, a beast gentled after his violent outburst. 

 Getting up, his tail dusted the back of his legs, swaying in a gesture of good faith. “See you around, Edith.”

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exit Raf!

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His parting words twisted the dagger in her heart.

She watched as he left, making no move to stop him. Their fate had been sealed, and Edith had lost the only person she had cared about outside of her family. She hadn’t been great about showing her affection—she never had—and now it was time for her to lay in the bed she’d made.

This was a lesson—a divine intervention; Edith had never been so hurt. After hours of mulling in her heartache, she finally made her way back to where @Calhoun and @Warwick had settled for the night.

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