Are we there YET?!

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prob before they reach Elkshire? iunno man, but i assume it's backdated.

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When Archon had left the Frostchantians, he had gone north and unexpectedly found a number of people that he had not expected to find, including two zombies sporting their snowman outfits, his own mother, and his new not-friend.

Together, with the support of a fancy lady, they faced a blizzard and traveled through the mountains. To Archon, this was south, and Hawking’s pack was in the south. That’s what he’d said, right? But every time Archon would ask if they were there yet, the answer remained the same until he stopped asking in fear that his not-friend would decide that they would never be actual friends, so he started talking about other things.

“So what’s your family like, Hawking?” It never did occur to him that deer didn’t have packs normally. He smelt like a deer, acted like a wolf - minus that one time, when his antler fell off, that he reared up like a deer would have done - and talked about packs as though it were the most natural thing in the world to do.

“Do you have a favorite stream to jump in, or a favorite stick to ch - ” Archon stopped, glancing over to him, tilting his head. Deer didn’t chew on sticks, did they? “uhh… to.. kick?” He would smile awkwardly with the wag of the tail as if to say: I’m still learning.

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 Siiiggghhhhh, it felt like the millionth time when Archon asked “were they there yet”. He was coming to hate that particular phrase but so far had managed to keep himself from snapping a harsh “NO”. It was there, boiling under the surface of his person like a fish waiting to snap at bait. He didn’t want to snap at Archon though so that was what was keeping him from metaphorically growling at him.

 Although the “no’s” had been getting more and more terse with every utterance. One more and—

 He heard the intake of breath that signaled words were about to spill from his companion’s maw, he tensed and prepared the umpteenth and rather irritated, “no”. He’d even partially gotten it out of his mouth before he realized what had been asked.

 Huh? What? Something else besides that particular question? ”Sorry!” He apologized quickly for his slip of control. ”Sorry…” He said, internally kicking himself. What was that about? His family? ”They’re… nice…” He wasn’t sure how to talk about such pleasant with someone besides Kore. For a while now he’d been travelling with Rahma and reporting to Celnes but that was hardly “friend” and “getting to know you” behavior. It was pleasant though, having someone to share things with. ”My parents were pack alphas and warriors. I guess I wanted to be like them… I still want to.” It was part of his drive. Crux was a very strong wolf and Harper as well, both were kind and brave souls. He wanted to be like that.

 ”I didn’t have any siblings or anything. Just the other members of the pack.” They were sorta family, he supposed but Crux and Harper had never had any children. Before them… he couldn’t really remember. Although sometimes he did dream of a doe’s kind face. Was that his biological mother?

 ”Not really into kicking sticks, I’m afraid.” He snorted in amusement at Archon’s comment. ”I used to practice spearing leaves when I was younger… but not much else beyond sparring and patrolling. That was fun… sometimes…” And that really just felt like child’s play… especially the couple of times he’d gotten into trouble with outside predators. He hated being made to feel weak, like he was nothing but prey. He was more than that. He could keep up with the predators that he lived amongst. It was a part of his drive to succeed, to become strong so he didn’t have to anymore and so he could protect those who needed it. ”What about yours?”

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^^Archon turned to blink at his friend with lowered ears and the most pitiful, saddest sounding whine he’d ever produced as Hawking snapped at him - even if he’d stopped halfway through. Quickly, he turned his attention away to something else instead of looking at Hawking, clearly hurt that he’d been snapped at.

He was silent for some time as they walked, though his pace was slower now and his eyes on the ground like a child who’d just been scolded. “Your parents sound like they were very impressive deer. I would have loved to meet them,” Archon said softly, speaking as though they were no longer here, since Hawking wasn’t with them.

“How do you spear a leaf? Is that something we could do together?” Archon paused for a moment to look at him, again, offering the smallest of smiles. “So you want to be an alpha warrior deer, like your ma and pa? That’s cool. I had parents before I woke up here,” Archon said softly, nervously licking his lips.

“With lots of annoying brothers and sisters, but now I’m here and it’s just me and my ma and pa. I think you would like them. They’re names are Olive and Benry, but Benry’s also her brother.” Is that just me or does that sound like incest? “Ma says Benry’s my uncle-father? He can’t be two things at once, can he?” That doesn’t sound any better. Good thing Archon’s too innocent to notice or to know what incest is.

“I’ve never met other deer before, or knew that deer had packs. Are they much different than wolf packs?”

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 Oof. Now he felt like a right jerk. Snapping at Archon was like snapping a poor defenseless puppy... which honestly, wasn't too far from the truth. He sighed and lowered his head to try to nudge his almost-friend and give him a light smile. A non-verbal apology to couple with the verbal one from earlier. He didn't like to make his friend feel bad... he wanted him to be his usual happy self.

 "They were wolves." He said, amusement in his tone. "And if you want, we may be able to visit some time in the future. I need to let them know I'm doing alright, anyway." He wanted some time to get settled in Elkshire proper before wandering off again. Even if this past wandering wasn't entirely his fault.

 Hmm... He glanced up at the trees around them, slowing slightly as he considered them. "Well, in the forest I came from it was always autumn and the leaves always shed. So, when they came down I'd use my antlers to spear them... Like this!" He stopped briefly to grab a leaf on the ground and toss it up into the air. Then, as it fluttered down, he'd jerk his head forward to catch it neatly on his bez tine. He kept his head tilted forward to verify that it was actually there before standing up proudly as if to say "ta-da". He'd practiced a lot and gotten good at getting leaves. "Maybe you could use your teeth to snatch them out of the air." And maybe just maybe, "We could maybe see who can get the most leaves... one day." They still needed to keep moving and at that, he'd start doing so again... with leaf still in his antler as he couldn't really see it anymore. They had to stay on track so that they could get back to Elkshire, at this rate the queen would think that he'd abandoned them.

 Archon explained his family dynamics and Hawking frowned at the implications. That sounded... weird. "No, no, that's not possible." Hawking confirmed to his companion. "She must have meant it some other way." Of course, he was young and didn't know of every implication out there but being a brother-dad just seemed like... not a thing that happened. So, the only other explanation was that they weren't understanding something correctly.

 "Deer have herds... but I don't know anything about that. All I've ever known are wolves." Hence his penchant for wanting to be in their company and not particularly wanting to be with deer very much. "What do you want to be, you know, if you were in a pack?" He... he hoped Archon wanted to accompany him all the way back to Elkshire to join up. It'd be nice to have someone to pair up with on patrols... and to talk to. Rahma wasn't one to do so and she never really stayed closer to the wolves where he liked to roam anyway.

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^^Archon was absolutely a defenseless puppy that wore his heart on his sleeve, and cared deeply for his friends and family. He wouldn’t have questioned anyone for snapping at him, and didn’t when Hawking had, but he took to the apology with a smile and wag of his tail.

“So, deer have herds - but you had a pack because you were raised by wolves? Was that hard for you?” Archon tilted his head, making sure that he understood that very important detail of Hawking’s life. He paid attention, especially, when Hawking showed him how to stab leaves, and part of him grew sad that this was not an activity that they could do together.

“Do you find enjoyment out of spearing leaves?” Archon mused, noting that perhaps he could throw the leaves at Hawking to spear later on. Though as Hawking led them further into the forest, and explained that Archon must have misunderstood something, Archon tilted his head. “I guess, maybe? I can mean your folks one day, and you can meet mine.” Archon smiled with the nod of his head. “Have you met any cats before?”

“Oh, uhhhhm.. I don’t know, actually.. I think it would depend on what is available? I didn't, uh, I didn't think that far ahead, actually.”

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 Was that hard? Well, yeah... it had been weird when he'd seen those that looked so much like him on the menu, until he became desensitized to it. Wolves had to eat and they frequently dined on all things that ate grass, including deer. He also had to fight his instincts to run when his nose was always so full of predator scent... but he got better at it, and associated the wolven scent with home and family. It was hard when fighting came so much more difficult to him than his brethren, when he had no fangs to bite with. How he had to compensate in other ways... How he didn't know where he'd come from and how he fought every single day wanting to be more like the wolves but only being able to go so far as his cervine body allowed...

 "Yeah, sometimes... I guess." He... didn't really want to go into detail and talk about it all that much. It was hard to talk about such deep-rooted things. It felt like too much. Like if he talked about Harper or his failures with finding Samuel again and nearly losing him and Rahma a home. It was some sort of mixture between embarrassing and upsetting. In other words, he was happy when the conversation moved away from that topic.

 "It's pretty fun, not gonna lie. You can make a game out of it, it's just annoying when I can't get the leaves out of my antlers." Just like now, except he wasn't aware of it. He felt like it helped him learn how and where to aim his antlers. He nodded along to when Archon proposed them meeting each other's parents. "Yeah, yeah, that'd be really fun." He never had anyone to introduce his parents to! Is that what friends did when they didn't grow up in the same place? "I have... she was the most infuriating thing I've ever met. She kept threatening to eat me after she trespassed on our pack lands! She even dragged me up a tree!" God he'd hated that stupid, psychotic cat. In fact, he'd be happy if he never saw another cat ever again. They were a whole different level to wolves. He wasn't sure if he could ever go toe-to-toe with one... which, could a wolf even? They dwarfed even the largest wolf he'd ever seen.

 "You should always be thinking that far ahead." He said with a teasing smirk at his friend. "Well, if you stick with me in Elkshire you can be... well, a lot of things. Anything you want," Within reason. "It's just a matter of what you want to do. Like, what do you enjoy?" It had always been easy for him to know what he wanted so he never considered it might be difficult for someone else.

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^^If there was a way for Archon to learn all that there was to learn about Hawking without seeming like a total stalker-creep, he would gladly do so and admit to doing so. Hawking was the first creature he’d met that was near his age enough for him to get along with, and the fact that he wasn’t even a wolf was just the neatest thing ever.

Of course, this didn’t strike Archon as odd, being that he had befriended a tiger in the plains, and his father was a cougar, and now there was Hawking. Wolves weren’t all that special, and he wished that he could meet more creatures that were not wolves. As Hawking told him about the other cat, he breathed a sigh of relief when he kept referring to the cat as a she - worried for the briefest of moments that perhaps his pacle was the cat in question. “Oh gosh, that sounds really scary. I’m glad you made it out okay!”

How would he feel knowing Archon’s dad wasn’t a wolf? His ears lowered for a moment, though catching Hawking’s teasing smile, Archon grinned at him. “W-what do I enjoy?” Archon blinked, having never asked this question before.

“I.. I have no idea.. - uh, how… how did you decide that you wanted to be like your parents?” Archon glanced at him with hopeful eyes, hoping that he would shed some insight, to help Archon decide what he wanted to do.

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 Yeah, he was glad he made it out too. Part of him wondered if he'd ever have his luck run out... if one day he wouldn't be paying attention and a predator would leap out of hiding to kill him. Would it be a wolf? A tiger? Something else entirely? He didn't know and he didn't really care... So long as he went down doing what he loved.

 In any case, when the conversation moved on to Archon and his desires... it seemed as if the fellow had no idea what he wanted. The deer glanced sidelong at him, arching a brow curiously. Never having encountered someone who didn't know what they wanted to do in a pack. What's more... he didn't expect the question to be turned 'round on him. "Oh! Uhm..." Now it was his turn to not be completely sure. "I don't really know? I just... always have." What a lame answer.

 He paused for a moment, brow furrowing as he tried to think about it. "I... I guess because Papa Crux always seemed like such a good wolf? Like, he made a pack where it all was like a big family and he helped others and protected everyone under his care." Even those of a different species that didn't look like him.. He smiled at the memories, a little sad that Event Horizon was no more and that most of the members had left... Bittersweet memories now. "And then, my Ma, well, she was the same. Always kind and helpful but they weren't pushovers..." He still remembered the saying that Crux had told him. Blood for blood. They were kind but that kindness was not to be taken for weakness. He wanted to help others by protecting them too.

 He shook his head, feeling sappy for talking about it in such a way. "Anyway, I guess I just always wanted to be like that. Maybe your parents have something like that for you?" He didn't know if it was sound advice or not, but it was the best he had.

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^^Perhaps, for Hawking, it had been that way because he’d always been with his folks — as Archon was under the impression that the deer boy had been raised as a wolf, with wolves, it only made sense. But Archon had not always been with Olive and Benry to make such decisions and though he loved them greatly, his love for them alone couldn’t point him into a direction all of his own.

But he would listen to Hawking, noting that it was important for Hawking to mention that they weren’t pushovers; though Archon was silent for a time - as he glanced over at Hawking. He had found inspiration in his parents, and so, Archon found inspiration in Hawking.

“So you want to protect others, like a warrior? That means you might get hurt sometimes, right? So, I’ll learn to be a healer. Do they have or need healers?”

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 After he'd finished what he said, the young stag didn't break the silence. He felt it important for Archon to be able to think about what was said so that he could figure out within himself what he wanted to do. He focused on the trail, watching here and there for any dangers that might pop up on their last leg of journey. There could be anything, violent wolves or other predators that wanted to make a snack out of either of them. He knew that he'd use his remaining antler to help protect the both of them if it came down to it, although briefly he wondered if he'd now how to figure out how to fight without the aid of his headgear. He knew hooves could be quite deadly if used correctly.

 Archon's voice snapped him out of his musings as he looked back at the other yearling without turning his head. "I think healers are always needed. Injuries are always bound to happen." Even if it wasn't due to fighting, someone was going to get hurt eventually, right? He gave a small smile to Archon. "I'm sure the queen won't turn you away. Especially not if you've got my recommendation." He hated pulling the "blessed deer" card but he knew that their religion required him to be held in high regard. Even if he preferred it not to be that way sometimes. He wanted to be seen as normal, not some special magical being.

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^^Especially not if you’ve got my recommendation – while that probably was said to make Archon feel better about joining a pack he knew nothing about, it had the opposite effect. It told him that Hawking was seen in a positive effect, or that he was high ranking (for a deer in a wolf pack). It made Archon feel small; no, smaller than small, as if some popular kid felt bad for him and therefore befriended him out of pity.

“Oh.” Archon whispered, lowering his ears and nodding his head, though trying to be grateful that someone so high up would ever look to himself as a friend - er, wait, that’s right, they weren’t friends.

“Y-yeah, okay cool.. ” Archon muttered, swallowing hard and licking over his lips in nervousness. “So what’s Elkshire like?” And how can I change myself to appear more desirable?

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 Oh, what now?!

 He looked down at the smaller wolf as he whispered a small “oh”. He could tell that he’d hurt the young fellow’s feelings somehow. But he hadn’t the foggiest idea how. He was always hurting Archon’s feelings without realizing it. Always inserting his hoof firmly into his mouth while he prattled on. Maybe it’d be best if he just didn’t say anything sometimes because he wasn’t even trying to be rude! He just was!

 ”What? What did I say?” He asked the brown canine. ”Tell me, I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” He’d rather Archon just be upfront. If he wasn’t then he wouldn’t know what he’d done! Was it what he’d said? The previous thing? Because he’d been fine before that. ”Elkshire just really likes deer. Like a whole lot. Since you travelled back with me and since you’re my friend, I meant that you’d have no trouble with getting in good here.” Did that make things better? Or had he firmly placed his locomotive device within his chewing device again?

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^^Oh so now Hawking cared about what he’d said or done to stomp all over Archon’s heart and feelings, but back in the cave with Rin, he hadn’t given a damn? Was that how it was, then? That whenever he was in the company of other wolves, Archon’s feelings didn’t matter? Typical jock.

“It’s just that you’re, um, this high classed person in Elkshire, cus you’re a deolf.” Deolf. It’s a deer-wolf. Archon has this weird habit of making up new words. “And I’m.. not anyone special. Are you even sure that you want to be friends with someone like me?” In other words, he felt like he was nothing, and Hawking was everything, and he couldn't compare.

He said softly, glancing up at Hawking with large, innocent eyes.

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 A deolf? He had to admit that that left him confused for a bit of time… Pondering and get caught up on that word. Deolf. Although, he couldn’t fit all of his mental faculties on figuring it out as his friend kept speaking and he had to be active and listening.

 Not anyone special? What?

 He frowned and shook his head, incredulous. ”You are special! You’re a really cool wolf!” Where the heck was all of this coming from? ”Why wouldn’t I want to be friends with you? You’re… you’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had!” In fact, he thought over something quite embarrassing. ”You’re one of the only friends I’ve ever had…” A strange wolf-deer boy didn’t lend itself to having a huge connection of friends, especially not when he was so absorbed in training. ”If I didn’t like you or think you were special I wouldn’t be talking to you or traveling back home with you. Heck, I wouldn’t even want you in my pack!” Could he not see that? Hawking had another thought then… looking at him and stopping their walking so that they could concentrate on this.

 ”Is that how I’ve made you feel? Not special or able to be friends with me?” He hadn’t meant to… he was just… bone-headed? Dense? He didn’t know, he felt like he was always accidentally trampling all over Archon’s feelings without meaning to.

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^^Woah.

Was there a button, somewhere, that Archon had pressed, without him knowing? A nerve, maybe, that he stepped on? He didn’t know, but man, it felt like Hawking was really laying into him, all of the sudden.

He frowned, shook his one-antlered-head at him, and then began yelling. Not in a scolding parent type of way, but something else, Archon couldn’t place it. Was this Hawking’s mean voice? He called Archon things, while yelling - nice things!! - and it felt really weird, like a disconnect.

It caused a certain warmth in his chest and on his face that Archon couldn’t really describe. He’d never had this feeling before! Just like when he was protective over Hawking in the cave, right before things became weird and awkward!

Hawking had stopped walking, to stare at him. He wasn’t sure what was happening. He took a step back, and sat down, Hawking’s question haunting him. Calling out to him. Is that how I’ve made you feel?

Archon, who had literally just said he would become a healer for him, to help protect him - despite you know, hating to be protected. “You, um, are the b-bestest only friend I have, Hawking, and y-you mean a lot to me, okay? You know what you want to do with your life and I.. I don’t. N-not really? I’ve n-never had to consider what I might like to do, before. I just followed others around like a loser. ”

Which was exactly what he was doing now. Following someone else around without a goal in mind. Was he a loser?

“You have made me feel special by being my friend. And it’s not that you have made me feel like we can’t be friends, but I feel small because you seem really high ranked or important in this pack..” and I feel like I’m no one. Archon sighed, looking at his feet as he allowed his voice to trail off, not really knowing what else to say.

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 Archon sat down and then Hawking sat down right next to him, craning his long neck over to look at Archon. It was his turn to feel all awkward and weird when the other boy said that he was his bestest friend. He scuffed a hoof in the dirt and frowned as he replied back, "Don't say you're a loser... you're not. Just do what makes you happy, not what makes anyone else happy." It's what he did his entire life and it just came natural to him. He probably should be prancing around with the other deer but here he was trying to stick it out with the wolves. It burned in him if he was ever told otherwise and made him want to be wolf-like even more.

 He felt like it would be easier if he and Archon could switch places. Him being born a wolf and his gentle, kind friend being born a deer.

 He sighed and slowly bent his long forelegs and slid to the ground next to Archon so that they could be closer to eye level. "Don't focus on that. Just focus on you." He scooted closer and would attempt to place his flank against Archon. A show of solidarity and hopefully comfort. "It doesn't matter who I am in this pack, it just matters that you're my friend. Alright?" He looked at the other boy in his eyes, showing that he really really meant it. He was really really trying at this good friend stuff... even if he felt like he failed at it half the time. He was a bit too rough and tumble sometimes. He had to remember his roots and where he came from.

 And I feel special having you as my friend... But that was the extra sappy part that he didn't want to say out loud. He was already getting too sentimental over here.

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^^The two boys were sitting down, side by side, and Hawking was suddenly getting very serious, and advising Archon of things that he simply hadn’t thought about. There was a frown, and some awkward movement with one of his bone-feet, and Archon wondered if he was uncomfortable. He hadn’t ever seen Hawking move his feet like that before. Was it hurting him? He looked from his friend’s face, to the hoof, then back to his friend’s face.

Then he came to ground level and scooted closer to him; which was the literal opposite of what he’d done in the cave. His flank against Archon, and looking him deep in the eyes - que the romantic music - and causing Archon to feel a tingly sensation in his chest. Archon gave a nervous nod of his head and lick of his lips as he came to snuggle up next to Hawking, and placed his head against his neck, nuzzling him there, if the deer would allow.

“I’ll always be your friend, Hawking, and I hope you’ll always be mine.”

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 Hawking did not move away when Archon came in closer. The wolf nuzzling into the crook of his neck. He thought that it felt nice, the warmth, the closeness. He draped his head on the top of Archon's, eyes half closing as he held him there gently.

 "Always. Even if you don't stay here," Because it wasn't up to Hawking where his friend finally settled. Even if he would really really like it if Archon remained. "We'll still be friends." Then, the deer smiled and in a show of mild humor stated, "You better visit if you do go anywhere else though." Because his first friend was also his deerest.

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^^Archon had always been more of an affectionate canine, often giving his mother snuggles and lovings without so much as a second thought. Hell, it never even occurred to him that Hawking might not be the type who liked affection, he’d just… went for it. 

And thankfully, he had not been rejected. Instead, Hawking held him there in the best (and probably, only) way he knew how to, with his cute little deer head draped on top of Archon’s. And Archon could have seriously taken a nap there, but then Hawking mentioned visiting him and Archon snorted. 

“If I ever leave, I'd hope you'd want to come with me.”

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 He hoped he'd come with him.

 Hawking remained quiet at that, ear flicking in uncertainty because he couldn't promise that. He'd feel terrible for leaving Elkshire so soon, plus, he felt like he had a future here. It didn't hurt that the Elkshirians saw him as special and trusted him to help be the defense of the pack. "I'd come visit and see you whenever I could." That much... that much he could promise. Archon wouldn't be the only one making a trip back, it'd be Hawking going to see his friend. He would guarantee it. There was no way he'd allow their friendship to fizzle out into nothing.

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^^Perhaps if Archon was greedy and selfish, he might have been offended by this, but thankfully, Archon was simply glad that his friend would want to put the effort into seeing him and not just allowing their bond to fizzle out due to distances.

“Oh, well, uh.. That’s good enough for me.” It wasn’t, but it was better than the alternative.

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