Let the ashes fall, forget about me.

Tags for reference!

---

Quicksilver had barely slept, opting to act as sentinel for the pallid Empress while she rested within his cambers. Through the night he stood guard at the threshold, checking in regularly to be sure she was not in distress or pain. If she were to rouse he did not hesitate to go to her and if she felt the cold he'd curl himself close. To ease her pain he'd given her poppy seed and, aware of the threat of infection to her lungs, the druid had dosed her with oregano as a preventative. He'd cleaned her head wound which had proven superficial, but he was content that it would heal without any further issue.

As morning ticked by, to keep himself from dozing, the silverwhite hunted in the lowlands then made his way toward the High Queen's den. Not only was it appropriate to update @Ira on his new patient's condition, but her due date drew closer - he wanted to assure her of his availability in the approach, and his intention to serve as midwife if she allowed. With her he left a fresh hare and reminded her to summon him if there were any concerns.

His return to Reiko later that afternoon was quiet, and he ducked his head into the cave to see if she had surfaced to greet the new day.


the staff team luvs u

^^

The walk back had been mostly a haze. As Quicksilver and Reiko began to make the journey up the mountain, her lungs struggled to keep up with the oxygen demand to move around, swaying every now and then as she laboured up the trails. If it wasn't for the druid by her side, the journey would have never been completed - the snowy woman would have rested somewhere along the base of the mountain and waited for god knows how long until she found the strength to move on her own again.

Sleep had come easily that night. The plants offered by Quicksilver as well as his presence left her relaxed just enough to let sleep take its hold. The pain in various places were numbed by the cocktail of herbs given - and as he slipped away to tend to someone or something elsewhere; Reiko was none the wiser. She slept heavily, bathed in his scent that kept her comforted even when left on her own.

Even when the druid would return, welcomed by the morning light peeking over the mountain peaks - she would not stir. The rise and fall of her abdomen indicated that the woman was still alive, simply deep in slumber as the raspy little breaths hummed from pale lips.

^^
the staff team luvs u

Quicksilver held his breath, sterling ears pricked forward to listen for any sound of movement from within the den, but he was met only with soft breathing. He blinked, scanned the dim hollow for the slumbering dove, and relief slackened the tension that'd worked its way into his muscles.

She was fine.

He inhaled deeply, and something unknown within him flared to life. The druid was reminded at once of the day on the mountain where the banners fluttered in the wind, a time when he'd crossed paths with the dove and tentatively confessed an interest in her. Reiko had not taken the bait and he'd been fine with that, but the memory stung all the same.

The druid moved in closer, careful with his steps as not to wake his snowy companion. He tore his gaze away even though he didn't want to, and settled nearby with the hope of napping for a little while.


the staff team luvs u

^^

Oh if she could turn back time and right the wrongs that were made - she would have. In a heartbeat. All of them would have been spared of this heartache if she could - but what would have been the right thing to do? To immediately jump into Quicksilver's arms the moment there was an inkling of him being interested, or never having told him his feelings were returned and left he and Izumi to grow together unimpeded?

Which would have been the better choice?

Eventually, she would stir in her sleep. His presence lifting her tired eyes to meet only what she could see was a pair of legs with groggy interest. He chose to lay some ways away, perhaps also hoping to rest while he must have been busy all night and morning.

For a moment nothing would occur as she pondered. Wondering what would be the best. To give him space and ignore the urge to reach out and share comfort once more - or do the complete opposite. It was difficult for her to understand what both he and Izumi wanted from her lately... Every guess had been terribly wrong.

What she eventually chose was to lift and rest her head on his hip. Choosing to remain silent in fear of making things worse than they already were. She wanted to thank him for what he had done, more than just the croaking that was done the day before. Her eyes would remain shut, only letting her chin rest on him while she fought the fluttering in her chest.

^^
the staff team luvs u

He closed his eyes. He willed sleep to come for him swiftly, to sweep him off into a dreamless slumber - just for a little while. He flexed his toes, the snowy tip of his tail curling; something didn't feel right. Something tugged at his instinct and the druid wasn't sure what; his lashes fluttered. He must've dozed, because pressure on his hip brought him back to reality with a start, and he lifted his head to see that Reiko had crossed the space he'd deliberately left between them so she could be close to him.

A hint of a smile pulled his lips upward, and he observed her quietly, half-lidded, for a long moment.

He rumbled softly, a crooning greeting, but by the time the snowflower would open her eyes his expression would've altered to one of concern. “Hey,” he said, voice hushed, “how are you feeling?”


the staff team luvs u

^^

As she laid there with her chin upon him, sleep didn't return to whisk her away. Not due to stress or anxieties, but thoughts as she pondered the feelings that swirled around within her. The light touch between them roused some kind of emotion, one that was distant but lightly familiar. She knew what it was, despite how hurtful it had been as of late.

It was different than that warmth she had felt with Tobias, their closeness much more than this - but in this moment, it felt... more right. She didn't question their feelings as both had not only admitted to the other how they felt, but how time would not change such a thing as confirmed by Quicksilver. It was much different than that time she was ill with the man who was now missing.

She didn't just want to love Quicksilver, she simply did. It wasn't a spur of the moment out of loneliness and desire for a partner as all other packs she had come across had co-leaders to help ease the burden off of one, but the same feeling that came when she thought of Takeo upon her first heat.

Eventually, he would stir, a rumble letting her know he was awake once more. Not long after, dark lashes would flutter open to meet his pastel gaze. Missing the smile that had faded just before. She would hold it but a little while, tail lightly tapping the ground in glee before letting her gaze fall to the wayside in fear of what he would think. “All things considered?” She'd offer a light smile as it curled her lips shyly. “I cannot thank you enough.”

^^
the staff team luvs u

He met her gaze - she held his, and he held hers. Quicksilver's heart skipped a beat. He wanted to look away, to carry on tending to her needs in a more professional manner, but the familiar twinkle in the azure of Reiko's eyes drew him in like a moth to a flame. Even paled by her near-drowning experience, the snowflower was beautiful. He failed to consider an occasion that she could ever not be beautiful.

A silver ear swept forward at her words, at the gratitude she chose to express, then swept sideward. That smile. Had he not already been resting on his belly, the shift in Reiko's expression might've been enough for him to crumble; the fear he'd felt to never see it again had been heavy. Only then did the druid glance aside, down at his outstretched forelimbs, and he exhaled softly in relief.

“I'm glad. And you don't need to thank me,” he mustered, wishing very much that he could be stronger. “I... I requested a messenger be sent to deliver a message to your daughter at Tsukiishi. I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to travel so far - for a few days, at least.”


the staff team luvs u

^^

Damp, but not wet. The chill in the autumn air still pricked at her skin but with him here to help heat the burrow aided in keeping her comfortable. The shivers no longer quaked her body uncomfortably, although the soreness in her head, feet, and sides wasn't unbearable. There was only one individual she could thank for any of that.

Quicksilver was no knight in shining armor, with a sword and steed to run out into the war as some battle-worn hero - frankly, it wasn't something she sought in him. He was gentle, calm, soft-spoken, and most of all kind. There was no need to fear the Druid for what he could do if they disagreed. After all that had been done, a part of her knew she could fully trust him. That never would she need to keep her guard up but instead relax and embrace the moment for what it was.

Even if they could never be, she would remember this for the rest of her years.

A nod was given at the news being sent home to let everyone know she was okay despite being gone so abruptly. “Will —” She'd swallow the uncomfortable lump that formed in her throat. “Will that be alright for you?” Would her presence only wound him further? As if apprehensive of it all, she'd now crane her head up and away from his hips. Reliving him of her touch if it was hard for the Druid.

Perhaps there was an empty den somewhere she could use if it would be easier on him. As much as she would prefer his company, it wouldn't be fair.

^^
the staff team luvs u

The snowflower seemed to detect the uncertainty in him, and piped up in question. Quicksilver felt a muscle tighten in his jaw as he considered it. Could he be, considering all they'd been through? How they'd suffered? How he continued to? The silverwhite lifted his head again, powder blue eyes soft and sad as he sought Reiko's pallid face, “yes.” Because he wanted her there, close to him, despite the dread in his gut that this could do them no good.

He could play doctor, however. Their relationship, strained as it was, did not affect his ability to care.

“Will... are you... okay with that?” Quicksilver wouldn't chain her to him, if his proximity hurt her too deeply. A messenger might return from Shiroshika to fetch her, he supposed, as Ira had done for him while he mended on their mountain. He didn't like the idea of her leaving while she was not entirely herself, nor did he understand the strong feeling of possessiveness he felt for her. Reiko was no bird meant to be caged, nor did she belong to him.


the staff team luvs u

^^

Mayan eyes flickered back to his pale blues as he sought her features. She was not ignoring him, nor avoiding his gaze, and so when he made the attempt to do so she would turn to face him again.

A single ear cupped forward to catch his single syllable answer.

With a relieved sigh she would lower herself back down to rest where she was earlier. Nestling in the crook of his hip, feeling softly groomed silver fur which is where his name must have come from. There's nowhere else I'd rather be, she wanted to say. To reassure that no matter what had happened, no matter how he felt, her feelings had not changed.

“Absolutely.” And until the day came for her to return home, she would soak up these little moments as much as possible. She could not force him to be with her, but at least enjoy the moments of peace between them. The things that were taken for granted earlier this year, the things that had become so painful just months ago.

Once again she would fall silent, listening to the beating of her heart, the rhythm of his breath and taking in his gentle scent from where she lay. In fear of saying something wrong, of instilling more doubt and making this more difficult for him than it already must be. Reiko was starting to learn that sometimes staying quiet was more often than not, the right decision.

^^
the staff team luvs u

He, too, felt some level of fear within him. It bothered him that this was what they'd become: tip-toeing around one another, too anxious of saying the wrong thing. Quicksilver had made a habit of doing that every time their paths crossed, and as he lay there and looked Reiko's way he thought it best to hold his tongue.

Equally, the silence was deafening. The druid could hear the loud thrum of his own beating heart as it pulsed strongly through his ears, and exhaustion had dizzied him. His mouth felt dry and he swept his tongue over rugged lips as he at last broke eye contact to lower his head to prop his chin atop an outstretched forelimb. “Let me know when you get hungry,” he told the dove, “and I will hunt for us.”


the staff team luvs u

^^

Okay maybe the silence wasn't all that comfortable. It was unnerving knowing the tension there. The desire to keep talking things through and yet the fear of hurting one another lingered in the air in a suffocating cloud. He was comforting, his presence - but not everything else.

The druid laid back down to relax, perhaps feeling the same uneasiness she felt. Only speaking after a while if she needed food to just say something. With a soft shake of her head, she'd answer swiftly enough. “Not yet.” She might be hungry, but it wasn't something that concerned her right now.

Any time spent just doing what they were currently doing, thats what she wanted. She would even place a paw over his leg willing him to just stay a little longer. “But if you are...” If he was hungry she wouldn't stop him from getting something to eat. It must have been a long night after all.

“It... This is nice... is all.”

^^
the staff team luvs u

Reiko's answer came swiftly, without a beat of hesitation. The silver druid swept an ear in her direction to catch her words, her resistance, and found that he appreciated it. She was right: it was nice, just to be close, despite the awkwardness of the uncertainty they both clearly felt.

Quicksilver let her close again, as close as she desired, and would shift his weight to accommodate her. A slender white limb was placed over his own, a gesture that urged him to stay. A new warmth flooded his belly at the thought. He rose his head again to seek the dove's face with tired blue-grey eyes, suddenly eager to see some form of affection in their sapphire depths. At the corner of his line of sight he caught a glimmer of light, a sparkle, and as he moved his eyes to investigate it, he found the beloved Lapis Lazuli stone he'd gifted her laying on the fur bedding near to Reiko's tail.

“Ah, the... the Lapis Lazuli,” he said, trying to veer their conversation toward something more light-hearted, “it has many healing properties, you know. I hope it serves you well.”


the staff team luvs u

^^

He didn't move other than the single ear-catching her words. At the sight she grew shy, uncertain if she had already messed something up by speaking out when she knew it was best to keep quiet. If she could lower herself further into his fur, she would have. Wide eyes watching him with doubt of her outburst, timid at the sheer intimidating feeling about this whole situation.

Only to be relieved when he did rise, turning to face her and a light smile blossomed again. The anxieties washing away almost immediately by a single gesture. What he sought, he would find. Her face flushed as she gazed onto his finely carved face, feeling her heart skip a few beats as now, without being wracked with doubt and heartbreak, she could truly see just how handsome he was.

The conversation shifted, away from the silence of her gawking awkwardly and to the stone she had managed to keep through this whole ordeal. Turning her head just enough to peer at the pretty thing as he was, she listened as he called it a... Lapis Lazuli. Reiko didn't know stones, or that they even had names. All she knew is that some were prettier than others. “Lapis... Lazuli.” Tasting the name on her tongue, she'd parrot after him softly, logging the name away to remember.

“Does it?” The thought that a stone could have any healing properties at all was interesting. Do they work? If he brought it for her, as she originally suspected, then it must. Shifting her gaze once more back onto the young man, this time with an innocent desire to learn. “What does it do? I have never heard of stones being capable of healing.”

^^
the staff team luvs u

She attempted the name he'd just told her, unpractised on her tongue - adorable in her accented tones. Quicksilver smiled again, genuinely, and he dared to peek up once more into the snowflower's lovely face. “They call it the Wisdom Stone,” he shared. “It is said to have this incredible way of making us feel safe and protected. An encouragement for self-expression, it makes an incredible tool for better bonding frriendships.”

The silverwhite averted his gaze then, considering how rocky and uncertain their own companionship had become. Oh, how he'd longed for her in those long, harrowing months. How he longed for her still, despite his conflicted feelings. It was hard to see her again, to have her so close to him, yet... he was thankful. Thankful for the opportunity to help her, to perhaps make the first steps in mending whatever relationship they might've had before, just enough that they could communicate without pain.

“Though there may be limitations, we will always find the chance for growth. Lapis Lazuli reminds us not to be afraid.”


the staff team luvs u

^^

Soaking in the lesson as Quicksilver spoke of the stone, bright eyes blinked up at him as told her all about this lapis lazuli. It sounded... almost too perfect for them. It gave her conflicted feelings on the matter. How he might be feeling to have left such a gift for her to find in the garden along with its own array of flowers.

Once more they watched one another. She didn't turn away as this time she sought the answers in his expression. What did this all mean? Was he too looking to move on from the pain they both felt? That he was willing to try and be friends again at the very least as opposed to walking their own separate paths?

He pulled away first, letting her gaze fall to the ground once more, keeping quiet for now as he pondered to himself. He continued a little longer, speaking of the stone inspiring individuals to grow and not be afraid; and she wondered if that is what he saw in all of this. In them. “And I thought it was just a pretty stone.” Eventually, she would chime in again at the end, making a little light humour of it just how oblivious she was of its significance.

^^
the staff team luvs u

Her comment regarding his gift prompted a beat of laughter, breathy, as his white-dipped plume flopped with amusement over his his hind limbs. Quicksilver lifted his muzzle to eye his pale companion with a sideward glance, an amused smile tugging the corner of his lips upward. “To some, yes,” he told her, “and that's okay. Not everyone believes that these stones can be so powerful - I'm not so sure about them myself, yet.” He liked the idea of it, of drawing energy from what the earth and Mother Nature might have to provide, but the uncertainty remained. “But to others, they are so much more.”

He parted his jaws in a yawn then, and flicked his tongue lazily over a jowl. Exhaustion, once more, crept up on him. Now that he was settled and that comfort had managed to once more creep into his being, Quicksilver was not sure how much longer he could evade the need to sleep. “Apologies, I... don't mind if I doze,” he said to Reiko, shifting a little to make room for her to join him at his flank, if she so wished.


the staff team luvs u

^^

The young man laughed and it made her smile. To see him bright and joyous, the tail thumping against the ground had hers mimicking the rhythm. It had been a long time since she had seen such a look on his face - if she had ever seen a thing so preciously tugging at his lips. It made almost all of this worth it.

He'd reassure her assumption wasn't wrong, but now it also meant more to her than just a pretty gift left by a pretty boy for her to cherish. It might have some kind of medicinal purpose to it and now her mind wandered to the possibilities of other pretty stones having their own possible purpose for being. If one could, why not more?

The druid yawned and apologized for his growing fatigue before laying down to rest for a while. Of course, she didn't mind. Instead, she'd take him up on the silent offer to join him near his flank and rest as well. Pressing her forehead against his back before sleep crept up on her as well.

^^
the staff team luvs u