Looking upon the flowers scattering after they just opened,

@Izumi

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Everything had been so confusing. Nothing was simple any more, and the Empress wasn't even certain what she wanted anymore for herself. What was certain is that she was tired of seeing everyone hurting, of seeing them struggling with their own emotions. She too was tired. Heartbroken - but she knew it wasn't impossible to just keep paddling and find shore once more.

It felt like a very long path toward that same new beginning... But she had done it once, she could do it again. There was no doubt she could - as she kept telling herself.

What mattered most was their happiness. Whatever it meant she wanted to ensure that they would find it again, somehow, someday. This time she would assist in a more... hands off approach. By trying to give flowers for @Quicksilver to find, something to brighten his days, that he mattered even if he didn't think he was worthy.

Because he was.

And Izumi... well. As she said, Izumi was her own woman, capable of making her own decisions which was never questionable. It was why she was asked for assistance in Vera's judgement. Why she was trusted all this time with their travel. As Shiroshika's Duchess. The day was upon them and soon the hour as well of when her decision would be clear, and to occupy herself as to not think too much into Izumi's whereabouts, on her decision on the matter; Reiko tended to the medicine den. Cleaning out the old and rotten and seeing what might be needing replenishing.

It would be difficult with winter soon upon them, but maybe a trip to the mountains would help their storages.

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 The cranebird had returned from the mountains in a series of dizzy spells and with her heart leaping circles around her. The choice was made then and there with certainty in her voice, but why did she constantly feel the need to run back into his arms to say she'd made a stupid mistake? For Izumi to wander the mountains for longer than she should've with such a pitiful thought in mind.....how gullible could she have to second guess her own words? No, her decision was made -- this was her home, and not even the heart of fresh love could change that.

 Reiko was an easy little snow sprite to find. With practice, it was easy to differ her silken coat from the snow laden mountains that came. The last time they had met was not a pleasant one, and one that would bring up unpleasurable memories for even the future to come.

 Ink-dipped gait only stopped beside the young Empress to take a seat beside her, though no words were spoken as her gaze was cast ahead of them...

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No matter how hard she tried to not think about Izumi and what her decision was, the little woman's heart kept wandering to it. Asking questions, desiring the truth even if it might not be what she wanted to hear. A part of her believed Izumi was gone, off finding the same flowers she left for the druid in an apology for the past few months - that too was a bitter sweet thought.

With a crestfallen smile she would find a way to be happy for them, regardless of how it stung now. As it always should have been from the beginning.

Crunching of snow caught her attention, twisting snow coloured ears back to catch their tender presence crossing the snow. At first she believed it to be Hotaru, her daughter coming to talk about the recent events and how confused she must have been; bust as the ink bathed paws caught the corner of her optics - she was overcome with grief and joy.

Almost immediately she leapt, a flurry of snow dusting her path as it flew with her embrace. A Whines and chirps as she quite literally threw herself at the crane with kisses. She grieved for her decision to turn away from Quicksilver as well, did he tell Izumi the same as he told her? The Empress wouldn't ask, instead she was just happy to see the woman back - even if it meant that they would at least remain friends despite the bitter end of their previous conversation.

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 For the faintest of moments, Izumi wanted Reiko to allow her the chance to stay silent in that moment -- to allow herself to keep everything together, and be at peace with the decision she'd made. Until just a few days ago the crane was starved of the dove's warmth and affection. Hell, Reiko couldn't even look at Fujiwara without despair crumbling the frames of her foundation -- and to feel it now after coming back allowed the pain to seeth in a way she couldn't describe.

 As much as the duchess needed it right now, she pulled away from the woman's hold on her. Any more of it and Izumi would've broken down right then and there, and the least she could do at this moment was keep any of the dignity that held on for dear life. Tears; she was tired of shedding them for a situation that made her feel like nothing but the leftover of something beautiful.

 "I-I...." her demeanor and poise were calm, but the quivering in her voice told a different story entirely. Even on the verge of tears, Fujiwara's pride held the pieces of her broken mask desperately to her face.

 "I won't be going...to Vanderfell..."

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A piece of her was confused, in distress and understanding all at the same time on why Izumi would pull away from her embrace. After all this time, the last words uttered between them, she had spent days wondering what would happen. If she would be but a ghost of the past to be forgotten while Izumi would be off with the man they both loved, living the dream she desired to live.

So to see her again had given her so much immediate joy she didn't even think of how it may come off as. How it might wound Izumi, how it would make the crane feel. Reiko would silence a cry as she found herself no longer on Izumi, embarrassed of herself as she waited for Izumi to speak through stuttered words.

She was here, but this could be goodbye as well.

The Izuka thought. Withdrawing into herself, she braced for what was to come, unlike the last time. Awaiting news that would make her one friend poorer. Instead, large azure eyes found their way back to Izumi. Sadness, grief for the decision made searching her face for something. Quicksilver had stated he would not choose, but a part of Reiko believed Izumi would leave regardless to try and make things work between them.

“Izumi...” Nothing could be said that wouldn't pour salt on the wound. The Empress was clearly glad to see Izumi again, and felt grief for the crane to also be left heartbroken after all this. No matter what she would say, it would hurt the siamese... and so, she opted to keep quiet. Eyes drifting to the snow-laced ground.

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Heres a little music to match the occasion because why not? ;---;

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 Ever so slightly would she trail her gaze upward to meet Reiko's again, seeing the confusion that painted her delicate features, and immediately looking away again as a result. Teeth bite down hard on her lower lip -- hard enough to make it bleed, and the trickle of metallic liquid fleeting from one side of her chin began dripping in the pallid snow below. No matter though -- the pain felt numb in comparison to the immense pain she'd felt in her chest. She needed to release it somewhere.

 Someway.

 Somehow.

 The willowy crane continued to sit there in silence as her tongue flicked against the inner parts of a newly opened wound, resting just between her inner lip. She was at a loss of words -- stuck in between this crevice of not wanting to cry, and not wanting to make her worry for her. There was a reason that Izu approached Izuka, however, and she had no choice but to make do with it. 'Breath...' she thought to herself.

 'Breath. Nice and slowly....'

 “I love him,“ She began, empty lilac eyes refusing to look at anything that wasn’t the snow beneath her. ”In a way that makes me feel more vulnerable than I’ve ever allowed anyone to make me feel. He broke through the cage around my heart when I swore to my grandfather never to let a guy into my heart, because I was always told I’d just get hurt in the end.“ when in doubt, Izumi always sought the advice her late grandfather had given as a child -- one of the only family she'd been close to when her parents didn't wish to give her the time of day, unless it was either to scold her. ”I now realize it was all true, and that I was gullible for not listening before….it doesn’t matter how much I love him, because he doesn’t love Izumi,“ a pause now, then, her head gestures to the other side ”--he loves Reiko – and I could never be able to soothe the waves of his heart as she can.“

 Her shoulders, dressed in snow and ink alike, slowly began to droop, as did her ears. How pathetic the girl must have looked right now....she was supposed to stay strong right now but-- ”I only existed to fill a void in his heart, meant to be filled by you. To stand in the middle of that for my own desires is a selfish thought that will tear you both apart…so I will be staying in Shiroshika…“-- it only spilled further, till her words spiraled into her deepened dispare. “–Because to imagine a future, raising a family and lying beside a husband whose heart yearns for another…”

 Deeper and deeper, until her eyes shut uncomfortably tight and her words exclaimed for the heavens to hear her pleadings to make the pain stop.

“I DON’T WANT TO BE LOVED LIKE THAT!“

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She wouldn't dare to seek the crane's gaze. Silence stretched on between them as the woman gained the courage to speak. Ears fell as she could hear the crane's breath steadying, preparing to cut through the cold air between them.

Their hearts beat with similar pain, but not the same. Their aches stung with different wounds, and which was worse was hard if not impossible to determine. The faint smell of blood invaded her senses, seeing it trickle down to the snow beneath blackened paws. Bleached brows arched with curious concern, braving to gaze up and see if Izumi was alright and where this crimson came from.

Her lip. Though mild, to think Izumi was in such pain she would draw her own blood. Was this too her doing as well? Ashamed she'd let her gaze fall again, studying the red-stained snow until finally Izumi would speak. I love him, and the dove's heart sank. She would not grieve for herself in this moment despite the desire to. But this didn't mean Izumi would pursue as she continued to speak. Pouring out her heart and soul in such a way that made Reiko weak. Heavy under the burden of her words, a burden she would gladly help carry if it meant alleviating the crane's heart even by a bit.

This is why I feared your suggestion. She thought to herself, letting slender shoulders rise as though a child trying to shield from an uncomfortable situation. If the thought hurt her now... what if it were to happen later? Seeing it firsthand of favoritism bleeding through the curtains. If he couldn't see her the same way he saw 'Reiko'. Even if she didn't anticipate which of them would be favored... a part of her believed it saved them from the inevitable down the road.

“You deserve so much more than that.” Still, she wasn't certain what to say, but she couldn't stay quiet either. Feeling the silence would be only deafening for someone who just tore themselves open, Izumi, as vulnerable as ever. Quicksilver couldn't love Izumi as he loved her... and he wouldn't choose to give him and the Empress a chance believing solitude was the answer to all this chaos.

“You will always have a home here, you are my friend after all. No matter what happens.” Even if she could not love Izumi, and Izumi the same for the Empress in a way that would bring all three of them together... as a friend, she was still beloved in a different way. Precious and adored. But how to tell the crane that without wounding her further? Perhaps now... as she bled, was not the time.

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