If you heard the healthy sound of of a baby's first cry

@Vera

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Finding herself back in her usual routine before falling ill - Reiko returned to the Glacier Garden to check on the herbs that were left to dry... perhaps a little too long now that she could return to them. Padding across the icy fields of salty frost, the Empress found herself in love with the tundra garden all over again as she glanced around its many herbs and late summer berries just ripe for the picking.

It was hard not to feel disappointed to find the herbs she had left to dry now blackened and rotten with neglect - it was to be expected and yet she held onto hope that they would still be here waiting for her to return. Unfortunately that was not the case. Tossing them aside to leave the drying stone Reiko used for her herbs, she ventured off again to pluck some new bundles to bring back tomorrow.

In the meantime... she would indulge in some berries before they too would rot away. Raspberries and blackberries, they stained her pristine maw like a child incapable of keeping themselves clean. She would simply pluck them straight off the plant, letting the other aging berries paint her face as they brushed against her muzzle. A sweet treat for later when she would clean her face to return home... for now, she was enjoying nature's treat.

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Silence, it was deafening. She could hear it all around her and more as the ringing of her ears and head became a symphony. Little to no interest was in the garden of ice she aimed for. Maybe if cabbage grew, any variant, she'd be here more often. This was an unusual trip for her to take but she decided it was for the best. She had not been feeling well from the fatigue caused by the stresses she now constantly felt. The guilt that rattled her core. She had tried to work as hard as ten soldiers, adding hunting and extra patrols during the pandemic as the numbers had decreased. The lack of sleep and exertion, no matter what she did would not go away, causing phantoms of shapes to dance around her psyche. And it lead to a tragedy she could not fix. Yesterday she had overheard of this place from a bird she shared her carrion with, and so she came, wandering if there were herbs or animals about to eat. Albeit resting was the miracle medicine that would probably cure her, but the life of a loner did not often allow that. These feelings of guilt, alienation, they plagued her like a new disease that she alone was solely responsible for the creation of. She had even started to avoid other strangers, feeling like she might spread it, taint them with her grimy soul. She felt like she could not fit in anywhere in this life, a hypocrite who wanted change and now doubting it. So much for conviction.

As she made it to the top she found herself freezing to a halt, ears twitching. Something was eating among the rustling of bushes. The wind was in her direction so she could not smell the creature, but she hoped that it's meal would be distracting enough. Crouching, the large brute began to stalk until she could spot the wrestling of bushes. She saw a flash of white among the green, convince it was perhaps a small polar bear she quickly burst into a run towards it, her face curled up in a silent snarl. She was large and loud, stealth was not her game, her goal was just to get close enough to pounce in hopes that her short burst of speed from her powerful muscles were enough to catch it.

Getting into the hunt she let out a powerful snarl as she leapt successfully onto the creature. She was a sight to fear, battle-scared with sharp teeth and a rage like no other. Her snarling quickly died and an expression of horror came upon her face as she realized the one underneath her was none other than Reiko. For a few moments she was merely dumbfounded. It had been a while since she saw the other. A mixture of embarrassment crept in as she realized how close she was to the beautiful wolf, she could feel her body moved as she breathed beneath, and her smell with the mixture of berries was intoxicating.

With a pathetic yelp of terror, she got off the other and fled a good distance, eyes wide. "I'm sorry, I thought you were food-I..." She winced, this felt just like when she tried to apologize about Gyrfalcon. Instead, she took a deep breath and turned away, her eyes became downtrodden as her head hung and she began to walk away without another word. Silence was the best option. She feared the other's disappointment, she could not bear to see it again.
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^^

To think that such a thing was just next door to their claimed lands was a dream. Sweet berries as a treat as well as medicinal herbs, the little lady wouldn't have it any other way. As careful as she was to pick the fruit and eat them without staining her face too much, it was pretty futile. Every movement left a new stain on her nose, some on her cheek and somewhere along her paws and legs as well.

Nothing a bath couldn't fix.

Her tail swayed happily behind her, delighted by the sweet flavors dancing on her tongue - completely oblivious to what and who was approaching in the distance... Reiko felt rather safe here in the gardens, they were close to home and just a little run should it be necessary.

Well, that was until the thundering sound of paws drumming the earth caught her attention. Ears flew up as she searched where it was coming from, only to be blinded by berries and branches and simply wasn't quick enough to back out and away as the figure was already above her with teeth snarling in her face.

A moment of fear stole her breath, owlish eyes as she recognized the face who stared down at her. It was Vera, and in this moment the Empress wondered if Vera was mad enough for being turned away to take her vengeance here and now. Instinctively her tail curled up to her belly, and legs drew in over her chest.

That wasn't the case however. Vera was quick to pull back, apologize and explain the sudden aggression. Food, well... in comparison to such a large woman, Reiko did come off small and prey-like she supposed. The realization made her gulp. Rolling over to lay on her belly, protecting the more vulnerable bits as she turned to watch Vera walk off again... defeated just as before. “Vera —” In this moment she wasn't certain what she was doing. Was this wise to call out to someone who had been banished for violence against a packmate?

Perhaps if Reiko kept her limbs to herself all would be well... after all, the woman did pull off and away as opposed to following through with the attack. “How are you fairing?” She'd call out again gently, hoping to draw her in to a conversation. Regardless of it all, Reiko still cared deeply for the once civilian and hoped to hear that after all this time, she was doing well.

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As she heard her name called by the one she had almost just eaten, Vera turned around to this time be the one to show shock. Why was she speaking to her??? She noted the other was nervous too, just like Izumi had been. Why was everyone trying to speak to her now that she was suppose to be gone. She proceeded to turn around and sit on her haunches, curious but scared and full of dread from what the other would do or say. Reiko merely asked a simple question afterwards that left the large brute dumbfounded. She was utterly shocked from how uncouth her follow-up was. To the point she thought the other was joking and waited a few seconds for a follow-up. But there was none. Merely silence.

Vera couldn't help but to let a sharp laugh of disbelief. She did not find any of this to be funny though. "Are you serious?" She started, her face contorting into an awful expression. All the feelings she tried to keep deep down inside her came out. She would not be passive or stoic any longer. "I am alone in a world of ice after sentenced to the life of a renegade. I have nothing precious left in this world and every day I must ask for something to end my misery. What in the name of all that's holy made you think I would be okay?!" She exclaimed, more emotion coming out with each second that went by. She wanted to shut up and stop, but the gates were open and all those pent up emotions were flowing out.

She walked closer to the other as she continued to speak. There was no desire to hurt the other one, just a desire to be heard. "What did you think would happen when I got out here?! That I would be "fine"?! Happy and content with a full belly? Join another pack in minutes and be cared for and loved again?! No, no, NO! This is the real world Reiko. I AM NOT FAIRING WELL. I NEVER HAVE BEEN AND I NEVER WILL. How dare you taunt me with all that you have...all that I want...I can't tell if you're being cruel on purpose or not." Her voice grew even more powerful as her rant went on, but as the tears began to form her voice seemed to lower while her sadness and grief increased. She looked miserable, no dignity left but Vera didn't care at the moment. She allowed herself to sob, to feel and be helpless as her large form collapsed and curled to the ground, her head being lost under all the fur of her upper body. "Why didn't you kill me Reiko..." She muttered from somewhere among her large form.
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Vera's outrage made her flinch. Willing to move on and run as far and as fast as possible over the glacier and back into the safety of the borders of Shiroshika. Certainly, her rage would not persuade the once trusted Samurai to further sully her name among those she had once called packmates... would it?

Vera would go on, her tone rising to a pitch that was enough cause to bring Reiko's ears down tightly against her pale crown. Watching the woman with cautious, large pale blue eyes for any signs that she might snap at her just as she did with Gyrfalcon. Carefully she took a step back, leaning away from the furious woman all the while not turning her back on Vera either just yet without reason... she was angry, but not violent.

The distance would be shortened regardless, as the Empress desperately shuffled away while keeping face to face with the angered woman until Vera collapsed... Sobbing into herself once more as she had lost all control over herself. The empress would make no attempt to move, finding that some distance between them felt safer until proven otherwise. Instead, she would swallow the lump in her throat, making sure her voice would come out as clear as ever without letting fear or uncertainty make this situation worse.

“I do not believe in such punishments...” She'd talk slowly, carefully, and softly in a way to try and defuse the tension that built up. “My intention was not to be cruel... you know — you know how it would affect Gyrfalcon to see you around the pack... how others would feel uncomfortable... and you, how would you fair seeing her daily after that event?”

Vera would have been haunted by the sight of her doing, and Gyrfalcon by the fear that would hover over her. How was that any life to live? Or Vera knowing that none trusted her after such an event. It was for the best, and even now Reiko knew that.

“Now you have the opportunity to make amends. I find happiness after something so... traumatic. I would never wish to take a life while they have so many regrets.”

^^
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Vera continued to sob as the other spoke, her words were heard, but the larger woman needed a moment to cry and regain her composure. After a few minutes that future would be near as her sobbing grew quieter like a flame before it died out into smoke/steam to be lost among the tears. The thing about crying was that after the tears were gone, there was nothing left to do but move forward. When was the last time she had cried like that? Probably when she saw her sister's amalgamated body hung and feasted upon via birds. In this world it was her first true cry, symbolism of her new life with the relief and emptiness that came from it. It had almost happened when she had first met Reiko. The start of tears had emitted. If...if she had just let herself cry fully then would things have changed, even just a little?

Slowly, the large mass moved, finding her legs to stand, eyes puffy with her blind/irritated eye looking even worse. She had nowhere to hide weakness from Reiko. She had to accept that. The flash of passion with her previous words were gone like bravado. Having a bit of control, Vera dipped her head with closed eyes. "My apologies, that was far too unsightly." She said, monotone in voice before opening her eyes again to look at the other that had no idea what to make of her. They could both agree to that end. What was she? How was she suppose to act when she was not a brainwashed soldier of a cult?

To her own surprise, she found words to speak back with, her voice hoarse after the tears that were spent. "I cannot deny that I am in the wrong. But that is not the point I am trying to make. Rules are rules after all. It's the set-up and your black and white ignorance that bugs me." Vera would make strict eye-contact at this point. She wasn't finished though, some of that passion entering back. Perhaps she was being a bit unfair at this point, but this may be the last time she would ever get a chance to speak to this wolf. She didn't need to conform to her morals and standards anymore.

"You say you don't believe in such brutality and it's for me to make amends. But you...you are a fucking liar, you're just taking the easy route. You understand how rough the world is and you want to hide from it. I have regrets like this situation, but I accept that is part of life and that is what I have done. Who do you want me to make amends too? To the one I wronged that you try to hide me from like the boogeyman? Or the pack I wronged that I can't step one paw in. There is nothing left to make amends to! Stop acting like you're giving me a choice when there is none. Stop pretending to care and say what you really want. That you stopped believing in me and that YOU are the one trying to make amends." Vera almost hissed out the last sentences. She would make no attempts to go near the other, if anything, Vera herself was tempted to just spin around, to runaway from this.
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^^

It didn't matter how 'ugly', or how often the warrior woman would cry in front of the snowy empress - she would not think any lesser of the scar-covered woman for simply showing emotion. For being vulnerable to someone she had one trusted as a leader before being cast out for a mistake. If it wasn't for what has happened, Reiko would have loved to comfort the larger woman. To reassure that it was okay, that nothing was wrong but instead she chose to remain silent for now. Letting her soft eyes do the speaking for her in a silent acceptance for the emotions being shown.

And she would remain quiet a little longer. Vera's emotions took a turn, and she spoke out against the Empress. Pale auds turned away to the foul language being used, flickering in detest in constantly being bombarded with such foul, hateful, aggressive language. When Vera finished and prepared to walk away, Reiko's expression hardened for a moment. “Do not walk away from me Vera.” Her tone was curt, to the point and demanding. A tone she didn't like to use, but neither did she like this situation they had both found themselves in. The self-pity Vera wallowed in, the accusations she was trying to walk away from without listening to the other half of it all.

The soft snow that was Reiko's stare had become more akin to ice. Hard, cold, as she demanded for Vera's attention to linger a little while longer. “I have offered sanctuary after you told me what a monster you saw yourself to be. I placed trust in you as a Samurai, to protect our members and you lashed out, severing that trust —” among other things severed. “It was not just my decision to cast you out, I gathered a small council to discuss it, and it was a unanimous decision for the safety and comfort of Shiroshika. What if that was my daughter Vera? What then?” The furs along her neck prickled at the thought, the fury she would feel if her princess was injured by one she, they had all placed trust onto.

“It is absolutely your decision to wallow in this self-pity you found yourself in. Because of course, I care. I asked you how you are, and stopped you from walking away. If I did not, why did I not turn away and run home to the safety of our borders? I know you are hurt, that the decision was difficult... It was difficult on all of us, but this is not the way to make amends, by pointing accusations instead of learning and growing as an individual. If you wish to burn this bridge Vera, you are only injuring yourself further.”

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Vera was ready to storm off but as she was turning around to leave, a voice she had not expected yelled, no, ordered her to not leave. Instincts of an old time kicked in, she quickly stopped in her tracks, turning around and sitting back with rigid posture, head looking up at the sky to expose her neck. Vera looked down at Reiko through the corners of her eye, expecting to see another wolf in place. But no, indeed that spirit she had forgotten all about was there as a reminder of the hope she had felt not just for herself but of Shiroshika.

That spirit, it did not upset Vera to see such a look and feeling of ice. She was just more impressed to see it at the moment. She listened, not really able to tune out or drift her attention from the sure oddity of the situation. But a spectacle can only bewilder for so long, especially for one who was use to events of such negativity. Her kid mattered more than Gyrfalcon, guts to admit that. In a way to Vera, it almost felt like the poor clipped falcon was getting disregarded, seen as less value because of birth. Actually, that was a hundred percent the case. Bringing in her daughter to win this argument, how cheap...

As Reiko bristled, Vera mimicked, getting out of her soldier stance to stand on all fours, beginning to feel an edge. It was the words after her kid that began to create a situation that was beginning to make the giant only see in red. She went on and on about how she herself was the problem. It was always her. She was the one that ruined everything. She was trying but it wasn't enough. Now she was trying to live in exile and that wasn't enough. Now that she wanted to leave it wasn't enough. Wasn't right.

The emotions of guilt, grief, sadness, confusion, they mixed with Vera's red anger creating an utter ocean of turmoil within her very core. A single coherent thought could not be made in her head as Reiko's words continued to scream within her.

This situation was similar to another in a way. With Olivia. Being told it was her fault because Vera was always at fault. She was the Dream Killer. No, it did not matter that Oliver was the one who grew bored and felt too uncomfortable because of how Vera looked from her injuries. No Olivia was not at fault for dropping her location to the ones that threw her into wire. That was her fault for not dying sooner.

" If you wish to burn this bridge Vera, you are only injuring yourself further." Her question ignored as Reiko tried to make her dance in her paws. She wanted Vera to snivel and cry more...she...Vera blinked but no matter how many times she did so, she could not get rid of the vision in front of her. The small white wolf now had green eyes and a brindle tail. Ah she got it now. They were the same, on a different spectrum. Both only wanted to hear themselves and ensure what they thought was best. To Vera, unity meant listening and conveying into all sides to find harmony, balance. Reiko was a child with her ideologies, but Vera was not much better off, perhaps worse. A familiar voice entered her skull, each syllable causing her head to pound harder and harder, her vision spazzing at the sight before her before that last shred of decency left. And Vera found herself snap, a broken string of an instrument was all that remained. There had never been any hope for her from the start. She was a follower no longer looking to be saved. She now looked for a world of unity.
Silence, deafening, and yet only seconds had passed during this mental struggle.

Metaphorically,
Even the Buddha may get upset if his face gets punched-in three times,
But for Vera, it took only one...

Vera's fur laid flat as she took a deep breath and let it out. Usually this was how her joy and energy left. Yet this time it only calmed and steadied her. It seems it was time for Vera to grow up. "Reiko..." Vera started, her voice oddly calm. In a blur, Vera crossed the small gap between them, smashing her skull against Reiko's own from an upper perspective like a hammer hitting into a nail, the sound was like trees falling upon one another. It stung, but the larger of the two would likely better off. Vera stood there with a slight wince with her blind eye, blood pouring from her head, some of it was not hers. "You and I both need to learn a lesson it seems." She said calmly as if nothing just happened.
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All in all, even if it might have been lost on Vera - Reiko wanted most for her to open her eyes and grow. To be better - but that was not what the woman heard. It seemed that the wounds made were far too deep for even time to heal over and scars would remain between them just as they did on Vera's body - incurable, and a horrible reminder of history.

The empress didn't want to fear the woman she saw, she wanted to watch her succeed - but perhaps she was wrong in that desire... in a moment she heard her name being spoken on calm, cool lips, perking her ears toward the sound and watching with round blue eyes with hope that perhaps she had gotten through —

For a brain-rattling impact to send her to the ground.

Crumbling as darkness immediately took her. There was no pain as if a button had simply been pressed with the crunching sound of something echoing as the final sound. Red stained her forehead where the impact had been made, gathering and growing only for a single long drop to trail down toward fish-eyes. Open, and lifeless as the red stained the whites of her eyes, the blue of one tainted with the crimson that flowed.

Only a few shallow breaths told tale that life still clung to what could have easily been a corpse.

^^

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Due to the severity of this I have current-dated this thread! Since this is the second time this week she hits her head, just a note for myself and anyone else!

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 He was going to have to tell Ragnar to up his game! This new ugly white wolf was quickly becoming one of his favorites! She didn't compliment him as well as Ragnar did, but she did drop him food a lot of the time. She was a walking buffet!

 It seemed that today she was giving him something extra special. A buffet of wolf!

 He could see the blood staining them both on the head and he let out a raucous caw as he circled for a little while and then dropped down to the inert, smaller white wolf. "Krakaw! Hallo! You catch wolf for food this time, ya? Krak Krak!" He called out delightedly as he hopped a little bit forward between the wolf's shoulder blades. His greedy purple eyes peered down at her lifeless eyes as he clacked his beak happily. Yum yum! This would be quite tasty! "You open for Krakarak, ya?" He couldn't just break skin so easily and he figured his frequent dinner partner would be happy to oblige. Casual cannibalism wasn't a problem for him so he figured it wouldn't be for her.

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Vera looked at the other, expecting her to get up. But she did not. A 'tch' sound escaped from her. That had been a lot more unceremonious than she had thought it would be. What a frail leader. Still, the sight before her tugged at her heart, fighting with her mind's attempt of dissociation. It was still Reiko. But Vera was not filled with grief, on the contrary she felt quite light and had only pity towards the other. Acceptance was the feeling she was plagued with. She did this and it was her fault. She had control this time. She would make all her choices from now on. She would create the gray that would unite the spectrum of all ethical ambiguity. Her shadow in every variable for the unity of lights and shadows. That was the truth she sought. In a way, Reiko had helped her so much, more than she'll ever know.

The sudden loud entrance of a familiar visitor grabbed her attention. Krakarak had appeared, most likely looking for more scraps. As he landed on top of Reiko and began to speak she couldn't help but smile at the bird. So morbid were his words and yet the innocence and simplicity from them she cherished. Still, she made sure to shake her large head. "Hello KrakarRRak, nice to see you." She greeted, still trying to perfect her pronunciation of his name. "Leave the wolf alone, she's not food." She simply said as she walked over to examine Reiko.

Her head was already swelling from where the hit was made. Gently, Vera proceeded to put cold snow on her head to help the swelling. "Apologies Reiko, but I'm not done yet." Vera said to her as if this were a casual business meeting. What that headbutt had been was Vera knocking some sense into both of them. Now it was time to exchange an eye for an eye-or better yet, a leg for a leg. She needed to understand Gyrfalcon better, hell maybe it would help Reiko understand Vera herself a bit more.

A sickening thrill of power entered her brain with a trail of dopamine. Something she had done many times, to hurt another. Time to ensure a balance. Setting up Reiko's left front leg to be laying straight across on the ground. Vera grabbed it by the elbow joint, putting one large paw on Reiko to keep her still. Then with terrifying strength, she turned the leg in the opposite direction it was meant to go until it not only could be heard snapping but the shoulder popping out of join. She then dropped the leg and it flopped in a manner that would never be deemed worthy for a leg. With that same gentleness, Vera proceeded to cover the leg in snow before finally looking at Krakarak again. "Hey, do me a favor. Could you send word to the Shiroshika pack that they need to pick up their queen? It's the pack super close to here, ya can't miss it. Maybe lead em if you feel like it" Expecting the bird to not do anything for free, Vera then spoke again right as he started to caw whatever he wanted to say. "Do it and I'll save all the vital organs of the next big kill for you and chase away any dumb crows from the entire meal. What do you say?" Tempting him with the most desired parts of the body and a nice atmosphere. There was a reason wolves usually ate the organs first.
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 Krakarak nodded his head approvingly. He'd make a fine Corvid-speaker out of her yet! It wasn't perfect though. Far from it in his eyes. Although he didn't really approve of her not being food. He made a huffing noise and lowered his head to peer into her eyes open. They looked dead-enough to him. He wanted a piece! Why wouldn't she share? And why was she talking to it?

 Oh hey! She ripped the leg partially off! That must be where they were going to start first. The ripped and pulled in a grotesequely unnatural angle but instead of being grossed out; the raven was quite excited! He cawed happily and flapped his wings to head over to the leg... except Vera covered it in snow. Dismayed he flapped onto the little snow mound, picking at some fur that he could see sticking out. His beak and legs were no good for digging in this thick layer.

 He huffed at her, looking up at the wolf as he protested. "Why Krakarak do?" Just because she fed him a couple of times? Bah! That was old news now! He needed something else for this! He clawed at the mound in quite an upset fashion. No sooner had he gotten his words out did Vera tell him why. NEW FOOD! NEW NEWS! Not only that but no crows hovering around? Sign him up!" Although he eyed up the broken leg...

 "Krakarak can have, too?"** He'd still leave if she told him no --although he'd be poutier about it-- he just wanted to see what else he could get away with in the deal, if she would rip the leg the rest of the way off for him.

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Vera scoffed with a small snarl at the bird as he tried to weasel more in, her Slavic accent showing heavily. "No, means no! Now get moving if you want that deal!" She said with a terrifying voice and a snap of her jaws to show she meant it, being oddly serious with the bird. It would upset the balance of life to just make Reiko into a target for all to take from. No one would take to benefit themselves from this tragedy. Reiko was only meant to lose to return to the void and restart anew. Probably brighter than ever if that spirit she showed meant anything.

And so for Vera this was the start of a path full of freedom. She had all the power she needed within, and she would bring judgement upon the land on those who disrupted unity. The disregard of consideration for others was too much in this world. And Vera cared too much. Perhaps it came from being the sister of a Messiah. She needed to shape this world into a place worth living and kill all those who threaten it's balance. Unity, unity, unity-But more importantly she just needed to live her life. Doing so will allow her to encounter for change, it always has.

Taking one last long look at Reiko, at what Vera had to give up to be able to move on with her life. "Fsivo haroshiva...(all the best/wish the best for you)." she muttered fondly as the tendrils of sadness and forlorn urged her to stay longer. But before she began to stalk off, the opened eyes of Reiko...there was a lack of dignity to it that she did not deserve. Quickly crossing back to her, she closed the eyes and the future she had dreamed of with her. Turn around, and left without looking back ever again. To be lost into the shadows of a madness that was oddly soothing.

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Exit Vera. If someone from Shiroshika wants to join this thread to fine Reiko due to to Krakarak then go for it
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 Well, how RUDE! The woman snapped at him and snarled, clacking her teeth in a most barbaric fashion! Quite terrified and very well taking the hint, he fellow away with an aggravating caw. "Krakarak was just ASKING" Okay, he wasn't only just!! asking as he clearly wanted it but shh, she didn't have to know that. The bird flew away across the fertile gardens and out towards the area that Vera had indicated. He'd find one of those stinking, dumb Shiroshika wolves.

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Fade as he goes here

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