Ψ · I got a bad case of lovin' you

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Her breathing would slow, his marching along in time. Trying to make conversation when your head felt as if it had been put on backward was difficult, but for the sake of Meissa, he scrapped his skull clean for words. Eventually, a pitiful truth fell from his lips, “Can I tell you something? I'm scared to be a father.” and the sentences only kept flying. They floated around the ceiling, coasting out the door. He wondered how much she was about to hear and what she'd ignore.

“I don't particularly fancy the truth of my upbringing, as I can't recall it fully. All I can remember isn't even from my mind but from my skin.” He wondered if she'd noticed—the scars. They fit snug under the nape of his neck and slithered down his spine. They didn't hurt much, not anymore. They probably had when he got them, but he wasn't for sure. “It's easy to tell someone they won't repeat their past... But look at our leader—her children. She'll probably fill them with lies.” He sunk slowly into her furs, sighing.

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the staff team luvs u

 At this admission, she reached up and kissed him, soft marks of tongue and lips upon his jaw, his neck, wherever she might reach that might be littered with scars. She had noticed them, had felt them and seen them in all her time grooming him. She knew his body perhaps more than he did by now, despite the circumstances that made that knowledge so bitter.

 There was a deep sadness, written upon his core.

 “Can I tell you something?” she whispered back, “I'm afraid to be a mother, too. I think you'll be a good father, though.” Given time. There would be mistakes - there always were - but hopefully none would be so bad as those that their parents inflicted upon them. They were painful innocents in this world, twisted and torn but still raging against the dying of the sun.

 “If we have pups some day, we can work to make sure their upbringing isn't as ours was.” She continued to smooth his fur with her tongue, thinking as he spoke. As he spoke of Celnes, she paused and sighed, nodding before she pressed her face into the crook of his neck. “You don't agree with the Déorwine beliefs?” She certainly could have asked this prior, but she had wondered, been worried of the answer. These beliefs, where both of them were little more than damned for things they could not help. White, marking sins that were yet to be committed?

 It was ridiculous. “These potential future children of ours... we can teach them the truth.” That it was beyond furs or coats, that it was what they did with their lives which mattered.

the staff team luvs u

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Rythmic taps left his back leg, the sensation of her kisses along his bad memories erupting in a funny little kick of his foot. He was listening, though. Finding a smile daring cross his lips as she mentioned not her pups, but theirs. It was the small things that made him sit back and think to himself 'wow, someone actually loves me?' Apparently, anyway. She was still here, his little sun.

“Oh, you'll make a blushing mum, darling. I've seen how you look at children, every time you talk about them you kinda light up.” She did and it was bloody adorable, as was everything she did. He'd turn to look at her, gently bringing his mouth to bite her flat-faced muzzle. Affectionately, if not a bit playful as they moved onto more serious topics. “I believe in some, reject the other. It's hard to nitpick a religion you were born and scorned in.” Sometimes he wondered why he was still here, why was she here? More cursed than him. “If I'm speaking honestly, I don't know how much longer I... We can stay here.”

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the staff team luvs u

 His leg-taps were noted and she gave a soft giggle, continuing to kiss him even just for the amusement of watching his body react in such a way. In his sleep, he had no such taps - were they somehow connected to his consciousness? Either way, she enjoyed them and enjoyed him, his presence, so glad to finally have him with her, awake that she simply could not stop kissing him even if she wanted to.

 Perhaps even as he suckled in his sleep, her comfort was to kiss him and hold him close.

 She grinned at the idea, tail wagging as he gently mouthed her muzzle. As soon as he let go, she'd swipe a kiss on the flat of his nose, face lit with mischievous joy. Could he see that her eyes lit up the same way when she saw, talked to, thought of him? Now that he was awake, of course, and the last memory of him was not him lying there, cold and limp, sending spikes of cold worry into the pit of her gut?

 On to religion and she slowed her breathing, sobering. “I understand, in a way... the pack my parents bore me in had a religion that took a long time to shed.” She did not mean it in that he should shed his religion, for she would not do such a thing, but simply to try to speak evenly with him. To share in his misery and show him that they had similarities. When he spoke of leaving, she blinked twice, looking at him. Trying to read what his face spoke. “Whatever happens, I'll be with you.” Had something happened prior to his coma? Something even before his visit to the Nightwalkers? Something that send him into such darkness he felt like he could not get out?

 She pressed her face into his neck once more. “Just keep me in the loop, yeah?” If he left without her... what else was there for her here? The place would feel hollow, empty, without him here.

 She might be his sun, but he shone just as brightly to her.

 This place had become her home, a place where she was respected - by some - and desired around. It was as if the queen's respect for her balanced out the hatred that her religion spewed. No, not fully, but she had come here vulnerable, desperate. Being looked at as a wolf and not just another spectacle... she'd clung to it. Now, she had something new to cling to... and cling to him she did, her eyelids growing heavy.

the staff team luvs u

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Steadfastly working on drowning him with kisses, he'd protest; wiggling and squeaking out a childish growl. Now, exactly what was he to do with this... This love-mongrel? Would he roll over and tuck his tail at this sudden assault of smooches? Would he simply submit to her affection like a coward? Yes, actually, he would, but he'd have to make it seem as though he hated it by nipping at her muzzle, completely laying flat to spin onto his back. He'd sneeze into his own chest fur, chewing at what was probably a tick or a stray knot that often occurred due to his curly coat.

“I don't know if I followed the religion. If you haven't noticed, I have a way of talking myself into situations I can't handle.” Though he'd been young and stupid then, sort of like now. “But I've never felt so weak yet strong this go around.” Probably because he was maturing, gaining confidence that he never knew he needed, it was a double-edged sword, wasn't it? “But that's a problem for another day... Go to bed, love.” Curling up in her embrace, he squirmed his muzzle into the little crook of her neck and started to doze.

ending due to the fact so much has happened since the start of this thread, LMAO.

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the staff team luvs u

 A soft little growl would escape her lips at his wiggles, “Methinks the lad doth protest too much.” a joke on something someone had said once to her, but she relented, letting him breathe and sneeze and chew away. She smiled and nestled into him listening to his final words on religion. She gave a little laugh at his introspection, offering a gentle nuzzle.

 Whether he was strong or weak, she was there for him.

 “Try not to die while I sleep, hm?” she murmured into his fur, eyes already shut. “Good night...” and she drifted away, the warm caress of a sleep finally not tormented with such full anxiety.

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*chef kiss*

the staff team luvs u