they say all ends can be a start,

open, but attn: @Yingyue !

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Pieces of her past returned in strange ways, and not for the first time Hydra found herself forgotten. Not entirely this time around though, it seemed; at least this old friend had some sense of knowing her. It was only a small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless. She wondered if time would heal the wound of memory loss, or if Ying would never recall their time together. Hydra was having difficulty with the thought of the latter (how could she be forgotten?), but knew if it seemed to be a... permanent thing, she would have to make peace with it somehow. 

Difficult, for a woman who was not by nature a peacekeeper. 

The battles she faced here were more difficult than those she had fought with tooth and claw. Those were nothing next to this, a thing Hydra had no idea how to approach. She wished to figure it out, though, and intended to make the effort toward it. It was why she sought the petite, battle-scarred woman then, following a recent enough scent trail at a casual pace.

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Unlike the others, her memories began fading long before she awakened here. It was frustrating, having to continually wonder if she’d ever be fully herself again; while everyone else made sense of their world, she was stuck two lifetimes behind, unsure of which one she ought to accept as truth.

Ying inhaled, exhaled, and inhaled once more. Her brow was turned downward with a tense arch that ran across her forehead, pink skin visible beneath a thinning white coat. She was staring out over a ledge beneath the shade of a low-lying tree when she caught wind of an approaching packmate.
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The matriarch had been unaware of Ying's latest endured trials in the place they had discovered one another first. Her memories of the warrior had been pleasant, beyond some and their actions... but that had nothing to do with Ying. Dark space occupied her mind, gaps she would need to bridge. One with crocodilian teeth; one with a nape like her mothers. Silhouettes, beyond that. This place, she felt, had stolen things from her too. 

Was there a place these things could be found? Or would these spaces always be obscured...? Were they important? 

Had they ever been? 

The Traill of Ying grew stronger, and Hydra's preoccupied mind shifted to that of her friend. It mattered not, if Ying never remembered anything—they could rebuild. Some things, even time could not erase. What was inevitable, for instance. Hydra descended the rounded slope of rocks, some scree dribbling down the face of them as she chuffed to announce her presence. She drew alongside Ying, taking a step into the shade to relieve herself from the growing heat of the day.

“Ying,” she greeted, voice not absent of warmth. It was no small effort to subdue her own familiarity with the woman, but out of respect for her companions mind she did so; it was fortunate that the matriarch could conceal such things in a way that appeared effortless, at least. “How do you fare this morning?” she asked, truly interested and invested; she wondered if anything had returned to the other, ...and if not, simply how she was feeling. The matriarch was not so good with the latter thing, but by now she had learned to listen.

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The Commander’s eyes brightened hearing her Alpha’s comforting voice. Hydra’s words weren’t soothing by nature, but they awakened something inside of Ying which reminded her of.. before, or something similar, and therefore brought a gladdening to her otherwise mundane morning.

Lowering her head to be level with her shoulders, Ying turned to greet Hydra with a gentle gaze. “There have been better mornings”, she sighed, “and worse, too.” What was understood didn’t need to be said; nothing had changed since their initial reunion. 

Where would they go from here? Was there anything else to be said? “And you?” Ying asked, deciding they would continue with small talk.
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No change, then. Not yet in any event. 

So they would start here, and that would be alright too. Hydra was grateful just to have the woman in her life at all (at this point), and would not let herself suffer for the absence of the others memory. What good would that do either of them? Hydra drew in a gentle breath as Ying asked after herself, and she considered. “I suppose the same,” she drawled, looking out to the horizon as she settled alongside her companion. 

It was not for the disappointment of things here, but rather those she had not yet found that her mornings had been better. There were still children yet to return to her, and Hydra's heart longed for them while they were gone. Some, those who had not yet entered this place, were yet unknown... but what she did know was that there were pieces of her, scattered to the wind. She hoped those pieces took root, grew into something brilliant. No matter what light they found themselves in, it would always be the right one. Her (acknowledged) flesh and blood could be nothing else, after all. 

She peered to Ying, and asked with ample interest, “your cub... she looks hale,” a compliment to Ying, and though she was sure there might be more than one, she referenced only the one that she knew, “do you remember her father?” Hydra wondered if he might come to find her here, and if Ying would like for her family to continue to grow with him... or if Ying would not know him from the next man she came across.

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There wasn’t anything wrong with stagnation, if its alternative was a negative change. It was sometimes better to sit still than to run toward something unknown, Yingyue had learned. 

“Hale?” she asked. Her knowledge of the common language had improved substantially since she’d first begun learning, but even so, Hydra’s vocabulary was a challenge of its own. Ying didn’t mind, as long as her Alpha was willing to teach. “I remember him, yes”, she continued, “Fengmian. We had a family before we were here.”

The Commander shook her head, brows pulling together in a tight frown. “Four children. Only one here with me.” There was a burning ache in her heart, one that couldn’t be placated by empty hopes of their eventual reunion.

She cleared her throat. “Your children?” Yingyue asked, hoping that Hydra had had more luck in keeping her unit together.
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setting this before Mira returns since that thread hasn't reached a conclusion, so hy doesn't know she's here yet!

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“Strong, and healthy,” she elaborated for her lowly, and asked, “what is the word for such, in your own tongue?” With a twitch of her ear. Hydra spoke several language, but one she had been born and raised with was the tongue of her mother, too; there were plenty of differences, but it made the learning others easier. Her companion recalled the man, and more of their children... children not here. Not yet. 

Yings question brought her to, and before her mind could go adrift again with the wondering she drawled, “two of my sons are here with me... one, presently, looks for any wayward cubs of mine. I have had...” names and faces forgotten, and she blinked slowly as she fought the current of it, “Eight,” she remembered then, and the weight of it was heavy. “Osiris, and Altair... they are here with me. And there will surely be more to come,” she considered, though nothing would ever make up for what had been lost.

Two here, so many more missing. One had been gone for some time. Her silver girl, who carried the eyes of her father but the spirit of a woman she had taken from this plane. But Hydra would not stop her searching. Not for any of them. While here and now was her priority, Hydra would also not forget those that existed... here, or elsewhere. Like Ying she would not cling to false hope, but she had reared each of them with wisdom she did not think them likely to forget. 

No matter what, she knew her cubs would survive. 

And she sensed the grief in Ying. Hydra would not feed her falseties, and asked, “Fengmian... he did not arrive with you,” she echoed, “but do you know that he lives?” When last she saw him, how did the man fare? At the very least, the cubs could be kept safe by him... and that could be a small comfort, rather than the (sometimes more) terrible unknown.

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“Ah. 哈尔.” A meaningful compliment coming from Hydra. “They’re all bigger than me.” Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Yingyue was small based solely on personality.. until she stood next to one of her peers. The memory of training her children with Fengmian and joking about their size with her mate gave some sense of happiness, if only for a fleeting moment.

Ying’s spirit ached for Hydra as she explained her own misfortune. Losing three children was difficult enough; she couldn’t imagine having lost six. Still, she would stand in solidarity with her Alpha, responding: “They will find you.” If not, perhaps they would be reincarnated through a future litter that she didn’t doubt Hydra would eventually welcome.

Things were somewhat blurred. There was a vague line of events that Ying could follow, but whether or not those events would play for her in order was something she couldn’t yet be sure of. Drawing in a breath with some hesitation, Ying replied, “Yes.” Surely, if her lover and friend had died under her knowledge, she would have some sense of it. “Your mate?”
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It was true; Ying, in heart and soul, was far from small. But Hydra was well aware of her own build, from (and for) a tacticians standpoint. It had been to her own advantage in what was one of their own encounters in the past, one that had strangely brought them closer despite what had transpired. Hydra had earned the others respect through tooth and claw, and even in this lifetime Ying instinctively seemed to recall such—and perhaps the rest of it, too. 

Hydra could not help but grin at Ying's recollection. “Several of my boys are,” she said with a laugh. And as they lingered on the somber note, Hydra nodded. This much Hydra let herself believe; in time, be it sooner or later, they surely would... and she would not quit in her hunt for them until then. Hydra did not return the sentiment; she imagined Ying knew she hoped for the same for her own children, too.

“He is here,” she breathed, and though she felt relieved the emotion did not bleed into her voice. For Fengmian was not. But, “perhaps he is with your others, keeping them safe,” she imagined—all while they surely sought her. Hydra hoped answers would come just as much as she hoped those faces would each return to them, where they belonged. 

Shifting her weight, Hydra drawled, “Do you wait for him?” And, unspoken: do you love him?

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Even with some of her children missing, Hydra must have known that she was lucky. She’d come here with her family relatively intact and had been able to claim territory to keep them safe. Ying envied her, feeling short-lived rage burn behind her sea glass eyes.

The realizations that neither of them had chosen to be here, and certainly not under these circumstances, was enough to calm the warlord down. Her misfortune had not been Hydra’s fault; holding the Alpha accountable would have done more harm than good.

Having shifted through her emotional slideshow rather quickly, she opened her mouth to respond: “He would not want me to wait. I would not want him to, either.” They’d been friends long before they were lovers. If anything, she wanted him to be happy, and could only hope that he had similar ambitions for the mother of his children.

Still, Ying couldn’t fathom the idea of taking another mate without knowing Fengmian’s fate. It felt almost like a betrayal to their union, to their children, to their pack. She would remain celibate for an eternity if that’s how long it took for them to reunite.

”Qiuyue is my main thing”, Ying explained, “She is airy. I tried to make a soldier but it’s not in her heart.” It pained her to admit this grand disappointment. She’d never wanted her daughters to be perceived as weak, as Ying so often thought of more intellect-minded wolves, and though she knew her daughter was strong elsewhere, she couldn’t help but mourn her hopes of a prodigy.
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Hydra listened to Ying, ear twitching. She wondered what she might do; what Dirge might do. If she remembered Dirge, she likely would make an effort to wait until the end of time for him. But the season itself was a cruel thing that sometimes did not provide one with the choice to make that decision. Not soundly. “I suppose now is as good a time as any to advise you what the rest already know,” she drawled, “if he returns, or else you find another you think as worthy as him, and you two become husband and wife... I only ask that you speak to myself and Dirge as well as Jarilo should you wish to bear children when that time comes. But if he does not, and you are alone this season, stay by my side as you fall into it. I will protect you from those who might seek to take advantage,” she drawled, looking to Ying, “I can offer you the choice of being there throughout, or ending it prematurely. The latter is unpleasant, but efficient,” for it required her to stress her women out to the point of it ending quickly. 

Whatever Ying preferred, Hydra could do; as her friend and leader both, the matriarch would support her. 

And not for the first time, Hydra considered what Ying might look like alongside a brother—this one better than all of the rest. Truly worthy. 

But she kept as much to herself, this time. It did not feel right, given what her friend had lost. 

As her friend spoke of her own daughter, Hydra felt for her. “Not all soldiers have the heart for it,” she drawled, “she can still be taught, if only to ensure her own safekeeping... while continuing toward what else she wishes to learn,” and perhaps she might uncover a hidden passion for the art of war, for it was a multifaceted thing that did not require only teeth. There were things that came before the fighting, and after, that required such intellect. “Tell me more of her; what is it, that she does seem to have the heart for?” Hydra wondered, still thinking along the same line as beforehand.

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While understood, this warning wouldn’t be necessary. The commander didn’t plan to have more children, whether or not Fengmian returned; she was focused on improving herself and helping her living offspring to do the same. It might have seemed selfish, but Ying had grown beyond the point of minding other people’s opinions.

She laughed, commenting, “I can protect myself”, then nodding her head in agreement. Regardless, Hydra’s need to track her female subordinates made sense, so Ying wouldn’t argue against the offer. “I will stay with you.”

Their conversation’s drift onto Qiuyue wasn’t unwelcome, but it was somewhat uncomfortable. Ying had been put into a position to admit that unfortunately, she didn’t really know what her daughter wanted in life. She’d been so focused on training a mercenary that any other interests she might have noticed had gone by without a second thought.

With a sigh, Ying replied, “My other daughter, Nianzhen, she uses plants. I think Qiuyue was interested, maybe.” She remembered seeing the girls sneak off together on occasion, likely unaware of their mother’s stalking gaze. “I don’t ask her about these things”, but should I?
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note to self: Fangs of Empyrean, mention 1...

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Hydra could not help but grin when the other expressed they could protect themselves. She knew as much, but the other would never need to be alone in that. Now, then, later—she would have Hydra's teeth at her side. As the conversation drifted to her daughter, Hydra listened with interest; her own bias and preference toward Ying exempt her from judgment Hydra would shamelessly place upon others (and had). 

The unspoken question lingered. 

Hydra drawled, “these things are useful ones, at least. Better that than stories that can save none,” she hummed. Hydra did enjoy stories being told by others, but hoped her children would never enjoy such a trade for themselves. What could a story do, against someone who sought to harm them? Plants could at least save them once the battle was done.

And also... “My sister, Lyra—she fights and uses herbs for medicines... and explores the other uses for them, too. She has taught me plants to avoid, and scents to look out for should an enemy seek to use more cowardly means,” her words were not meant to simply comfort, but to also bring an alternative perspective. Hydra was no healer, but had learned the basics so as to not meet her end if there was no one there to apply what was needed. Lyra had enforced that much, and in her youth Hydra had thought it rather droll... but now, saw the practicality in it. 

Speaking of teeth, Hydra rose to all fours then. “I again seek to build an army here. And once, you wished to aid me in such. You are a warrior, Ying, and it would mean much to me if you might consider becoming a part of it again. A Fang of Empyrean,” she thought aloud. There would be several, and she at the helm of it—she hoped for the Fangs of Empyrean to become a formidable thing, so that none would seek to threaten those within her domain.

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There were worst things for Qiuyue to become, her mother then decided, than a healer. Hydra was right; there were some practical uses for herbalism, and the more Ying thought, the more she realized how useful such knowledge might be during times of conflict. While her prior opinions remained mostly intact, she was grateful for the added perspective.

Suddenly, there came a whirlwind of nostalgia which ravaged Ying’s mind, almost deafening her to Hydra’s offer. She remembered vaguely Moonspear’s claim (though not its name), visiting on one specific occasion from the coast, and having a similar conversation with this third of the cerberus. 

Overwhelmed, the commander interrupted Hydra, saying: “I remember.” Just as her hope was beginning to build that more memories might come, the flurry of recall fizzled out, having given only a glimpse into what once was. “I’m with you again in this life, as in the last.” A soft smile, tainted by tears eyes.
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Hydra's tongue could be stilled by few, and with that few words, but as Ying spoke Hydra indeed fell quiet as she regarded the woman. Her own blue eyes sought to interpret the features of her friend, her ears the tone of her words—and as Ying looked to her, Hydra did see familiarity present where before there had been uncertainty. And the words spoken were ones Hydra trusted, and she took a step toward Ying to be nearer as though this would give her more insight as to what had just occurred. 

But mostly, to be close to her dearest friend that remembered her. That had not forgotten her after all. “You remember,” Hydra echoed, soft, “what... caused that?” She wondered if it had been a word, or if there were a root to the recollection sweeping in like a wave; it had done nothing for her own blank spaces, but perhaps it might vary for each.

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“I..”, she began, “I don’t know.” Everything had come and gone within one breath, leaving Ying feeling more disoriented than before. It made her worry that someday, what little memory she was confident about would leave her, too.. and then what?

It would be rude to walk away without an explanation but Ying needed time to think. She’d given her answer to Hydra’s proposal; the details could be worked out later because then, in that moment: “I need to see my daughter.” It wouldn’t be the first time Qiuyue had calmed her mother’s nerves.

​​​​​“Excuse me.” Ying trusted that her Alpha would understand. Bowing respectfully, she dipped off to search the woods for her nymphet.
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Even despite her lack of empathy toward others, she could sense the disorient; she remained still, a stable pillar should it be needed. But Ying expressed the need for her daughter, and Hydra nodded as the other excused herself. She observed from afar to ensure that Ying's step did not falter, and then the matriarch turned to head toward the borders as to patrol once again. It would be good to keep her mind busy, now.

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