06-24-2021, 10:34 PM
Everything about being with a pack again made Nemean feel odd. Companionship had always gone sour for Nemean in the long run, and though he missed the feeling of comradery he'd once gotten from pulling his weight as part of a whole, now....
Well, he was a stranger among a family, and he felt a keen divide he knew he was cursing himself with. The blue brute didn't hide, but he didn't seek anyone out and wasn't very social. He hunted whatever he could find, and other than whatever meal or two he picked at through the day, he stashed it wherever the pack wolves could find it. Caches, of course, a den if he happened to find one that was fresh enough of scent to suggest someone actually sheltered there.
It made his heart ache, such a simple little task -- and as he carried a hawk between his jaws, squinting through the pelting rain as he hauled himself easily atop the next ledge of the rocky cliff, all he could think about was the day he nearly ran over Keres in the snow.
'Don't lose your good heart, Nemean. No matter what the world throws at you, retain it. You're good.'
It was hard to swallow past the bitterness that rose like bile in the back of his throat. It was the first day he'd tried to admit he cared for her more than he did himself, and she'd tried to warn him. He wondered if he ever meant anything at all, but he tried not to think about her too much.
Instead, he tried to mull over what she'd said. He'd always been attracted to the brutes of the world, to strength. He'd always served them or been one, and when he'd showed softness, found a woman who was nothing like the rest of his life.... he'd been punished for it. She'd been one of the things the world threw at him, but was this all he had to look forward to? Losing people he cared about? Getting hurt for them?
'There will not come a day where I won't want you.'
Nemean sighed, her words bouncing around his head.
He didn't expect a different result, here. He wondered if here was the good thing or if someone was going to come along and sweep his paws from beneath him again, but shit, he didn't know how much more he could take.
The edge flattened out on the next jump, giving way to an actual beaten track up the mountain. A glance to the side offered a mostly rain-obscured view of the lake, and idly, Nemean wondered about what the day held instead.
One step at a time, he told himself with another internal wince. Even his own words haunted him; he wished he'd have lost his memories coming here, instead of getting separated from his family.
Maybe he'd come across Annika. She was a woman who could understand his pain and help him forget it, and though he didn't know her own sorrow, he could help her, too. Maybe another swim, if the storm settled, or perhaps she'd like part of the hawk?
Valeska was a sweet soul he wouldn't mind talking to, but his thoughts flittered to the other members. One of them might enjoy bird, and it was long past time for Nemean to start making friends.
He just padded lazily up the path, undisturbed by the buckets of rain falling from the sky, the fork of lightning that split the sky ahead, nor the clap of thunder that rattled the earth beneath his wide paws.
Well, he was a stranger among a family, and he felt a keen divide he knew he was cursing himself with. The blue brute didn't hide, but he didn't seek anyone out and wasn't very social. He hunted whatever he could find, and other than whatever meal or two he picked at through the day, he stashed it wherever the pack wolves could find it. Caches, of course, a den if he happened to find one that was fresh enough of scent to suggest someone actually sheltered there.
It made his heart ache, such a simple little task -- and as he carried a hawk between his jaws, squinting through the pelting rain as he hauled himself easily atop the next ledge of the rocky cliff, all he could think about was the day he nearly ran over Keres in the snow.
'Don't lose your good heart, Nemean. No matter what the world throws at you, retain it. You're good.'
It was hard to swallow past the bitterness that rose like bile in the back of his throat. It was the first day he'd tried to admit he cared for her more than he did himself, and she'd tried to warn him. He wondered if he ever meant anything at all, but he tried not to think about her too much.
Instead, he tried to mull over what she'd said. He'd always been attracted to the brutes of the world, to strength. He'd always served them or been one, and when he'd showed softness, found a woman who was nothing like the rest of his life.... he'd been punished for it. She'd been one of the things the world threw at him, but was this all he had to look forward to? Losing people he cared about? Getting hurt for them?
'There will not come a day where I won't want you.'
Nemean sighed, her words bouncing around his head.
He didn't expect a different result, here. He wondered if here was the good thing or if someone was going to come along and sweep his paws from beneath him again, but shit, he didn't know how much more he could take.
The edge flattened out on the next jump, giving way to an actual beaten track up the mountain. A glance to the side offered a mostly rain-obscured view of the lake, and idly, Nemean wondered about what the day held instead.
One step at a time, he told himself with another internal wince. Even his own words haunted him; he wished he'd have lost his memories coming here, instead of getting separated from his family.
Maybe he'd come across Annika. She was a woman who could understand his pain and help him forget it, and though he didn't know her own sorrow, he could help her, too. Maybe another swim, if the storm settled, or perhaps she'd like part of the hawk?
Valeska was a sweet soul he wouldn't mind talking to, but his thoughts flittered to the other members. One of them might enjoy bird, and it was long past time for Nemean to start making friends.
He just padded lazily up the path, undisturbed by the buckets of rain falling from the sky, the fork of lightning that split the sky ahead, nor the clap of thunder that rattled the earth beneath his wide paws.
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