i'd rather eat dirt

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there were things he wanted to say. things he wanted to confess to the one who glared at him with burning contempt. and it bothered him. sure, he'd been harsh when she'd returned, but weren't his feelings valid? was he not allowed to hurt? barred from the sudden surge of emotions he'd kept in check for the months since she'd gone?

and seeing her in his dream only served as a sign to the prince. maybe it was a chance for him to tell her things he couldn't dream of saying when he was awake. he wanted to bare his soul to her, offer his heart on a silver platter and let her do what she wanted with it. he'd even let her follow through with her threats if it'd change the way she looked at him. but dealing with things like emotions was not his strong suit, no matter how much he thought it was.

cassian couldn't help the soft chuckle that escaped him. “are you sure this is your dream?” he asked as he casually came to her side. “because i do believe this is my dream.” and my greatest desire.

cass wished she'd stop hating him. stopped looking at him like he was the scum of the earth when they'd both changed. it simply wasn't fair. he hated how he still reacted to the sound of her voice. hated how his heart would stutter when she spoke. hated how it felt like it'd stop when she said his name.

“i'm... sorry. for everything.” he murmured, head turned away to look at the green hills. cass refused to meet her gaze, afraid of what he'd see in her eyes. disgust, hatred, nothing.

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