Flat, flat, Flat!

@Helix @Moosebellow

Out on the plains of Canis Major, between growths of hardy grasses and the occasional fur-snagging shrub, a little cat skulked. Cream-colored fur, interrupted at the paws and face by shades of dark-chocolate, covered the thing, and a pair of teal-shaded eyes peered out at its surroundings with distaste. It was thinking…
 
Flat, flat, flat! thought Edgewise, skulking along toward the hills. Nothing but days of flat land, wide open. I can see everything, and everything can see me...
 
Over the course of the last several weeks, the slim little cat had ducked two hungry coyotes, some kind of bull alpha goat thing with a fixation on stomping cats, and a fox which had very, very nearly been faster than Edgewise. He had awoken from a nervous sleep for three nights after the fox encounter, half-imagining the thing was still chasing him through the flatlands.
 
Damn all the flat. he cursed to himself. I’ll be happy if I never see it again. Give me hills. Give me lumps! I’ll take a mountain, even...
 
His internal grumbling served as the ongoing silent narrative accompanying today’s trek. He was nearer now than before to hills which, weeks ago, had been distant. The air was starting to change, and the wind was becoming somehow more humid as he neared the rolling mounds of earth and stone. There was water, there, and something else breaking the horizon… Something that broke the flatness with far more aggression than any mound or hill.
 
It was a strange white thing, like bleached bones of some tremendous animal, but straight and hard-edged and… Flat... Still it was different, and it looked to have high places, and Edgewise desperately desired a high place to hide in for a time. There was also a lake, beautiful and clear, and surely delicious birds coming to drink from it and…
 
Edgewise sniffed as he drew nearer to the structure he didn’t know was called a ‘Keep’. Probably other predators here. If I think this is a nice place to be, others will too. He knew he was a dusty, grassy mess; preening and cleaning were secondary concerns during his perilous quest across the grassy flatlands. He had fed himself decently, and his ribs weren’t showing… If there were threats here, hopefully he wouldn’t look like an easy target. If there were cats… maybe they were open to having another feline in the area? The bone-place looked large enough, the lake looked wide enough to support all kinds of meals…
 
Edgewise chose to approach stealthily; his own worries prevented him from walking into this place openly. He needed to see, and smell, what was around here first. Sadly, his exhaustion meant his intrusion wouldn’t be perfect. If anyone was on watch, they’d likely spy or scent out a dirty male wanderer from the grassy fields making a cautious approach toward the Keep...
Out on the plains of Canis Major, between growths of hardy grasses and the occasional fur-snagging shrub, a little cat skulked. Cream-colored fur, interrupted at the paws and face by shades of dark-chocolate, covered the thing, and a pair of teal-shaded eyes peered out at its surroundings with distaste. It was thinking…
 
Flat, flat, flat! thought Edgewise, skulking along toward the hills. Nothing but days of flat land, wide open. I can see everything, and everything can see me...
 
Over the course of the last several weeks, the slim little cat had ducked two hungry coyotes, some kind of bull alpha goat thing with a fixation on stomping cats, and a fox which had very, very nearly been faster than Edgewise. He had awoken from a nervous sleep for three nights after the fox encounter, half-imagining the thing was still chasing him through the flatlands.
 
Damn all the flat. he cursed to himself. I’ll be happy if I never see it again. Give me hills. Give me lumps! I’ll take a mountain, even...
 
His internal grumbling served as the ongoing silent narrative accompanying today’s trek. He was nearer now than before to hills which, weeks ago, had been distant. The air was starting to change, and the wind was becoming somehow more humid as he neared the rolling mounds of earth and stone. There was water, there, and something else breaking the horizon… Something that broke the flatness with far more aggression than any mound or hill.
 
It was a strange white thing, like bleached bones of some tremendous animal, but straight and hard-edged and… Flat... Still it was different, and it looked to have high places, and Edgewise desperately desired a high place to hide in for a time. There was also a lake, beautiful and clear, and surely delicious birds coming to drink from it and…
 
Edgewise sniffed as he drew nearer to the structure he didn’t know was called a ‘Keep’. Probably other predators here. If I think this is a nice place to be, others will too. He knew he was a dusty, grassy mess; preening and cleaning were secondary concerns during his perilous quest across the grassy flatlands. He had fed himself decently, and his ribs weren’t showing… If there were threats here, hopefully he wouldn’t look like an easy target. If there were cats… maybe they were open to having another feline in the area? The bone-place looked large enough, the lake looked wide enough to support all kinds of meals…
 
Edgewise chose to approach stealthily; his own worries prevented him from walking into this place openly. He needed to see, and smell, what was around here first. Sadly, his exhaustion meant his intrusion wouldn’t be perfect. If anyone was on watch, they’d likely spy or scent out a dirty male wanderer from the grassy fields making a cautious approach toward the Keep...
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  He'd been sleeping peacefully within the strange walls of the keep. It felt weird huddling behind twoleg structures but it was clear that the scents of this thing were long washed clean. It smelled of nothing...

  Except cats, now that they'd taken up living here.

 He had found himself a spot to sleep on one of the upper floors. He'd dragged moss and feathers and fur in to make a soft nest on top of a dilapidated bookshelf (not that he knew the name of it). From this old room that was previously a study, he could jump through a hole in the ceiling to quickly get to the roof and from there it was easy to keep watch. However, today he would not be keeping watch from up top --that would be someone else's duty-- but instead he would be doing a patrol. Their numbers were few so one day should do. As he stretched and groomed himself, he went over the LL 8st of cats in his head.

 He thought of a patchwork face in his mind and knew who the lucky fellow was. So he finished grooming and went to fetch him.

---

  Several long minutes later he has Helix and they were out beyond the keep. Patrolling and scent marking. Moose was chatting idly, as he did, "So, you ever seen any twolegs before? I fuckin' got sick of those fox-hearts back where I came from. It's fuckin' weird as shit I ain't seen any here " He spoke while twirling a plant stalk in his maw. He was an expert at doing so.

 There was one thing about the rolling hills, one could see everything. He thought he could see movement up ahead as they circled back around towards the keep and his nose told him he definitely did. A tomcat. He glanced at Helix, a grin on his face. He should probably be annoyed at trespassing but their clan was new and their borders not well kept yet so he was just happy that they were attracting more cats.

  He'd briefly signal with his tail for Helix to be on guard, just in case this turned sideways. Not that he was afraid of anything but it never hurt to be cautious. "'Sup! What're you up to, sneakin' around and shit?" He called out as he lead the tiny patrol up to the sneaky tomcat. His tail was up in the air, friendly despite his words, as again be wanted to attract new cats. Not scare them off.
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^^The patchwork tomcat didn’t really see the big deal about a big house that was made of stone. It was the only thing around and of course would attract all sorts of life, but thankfully, all that life was of the feline sort and therefore… tolerable.

Mooser had asked about humans, Helix gave a nod of his head. “I had a girl that was human for a time, til she transformed.” Or, at the very least, that’s what Helix thought had happened. Of course, he thought that humans were supposed to do; aint like he had some sort of manual. 

They had caught the scent and regardless of the gesture, Helix would remain alert and cautious. You could never truly tell with other cats how things were going to fly. Helix snickered though, sitting back to groom a paw, to groom his face.

Mooser had this under control and until he didn’t, Helix wouldn’t stand in the way.

^^
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Edgewise jumped in place at the delightfully vulgar greeting, and then froze. Spotted so easily… he thought to himself dryly. Or sniffed out. I probably smell like a dirt-covered gopher. As the pair approached, Edgewise had to make a swift decision; if he was to bolt, now was the time, but these two weren’t attacking. Despite the accurate accusation that the interloper was sneaking, neither male was coming in claws-out. Edgewise’s ears came up and forward against his will, and his eyes widened, all signs of openness; he didn’t know who these two were, but he was interested to find out! Still, he kept his head a little low in deference.

Not that he had to go very far to be lower than these two; these were damned tall cats! Like a pair of trees they were, at least compared to the sprout-like Edgewise. In his eyes, the speaker was a well-built fellow, dark-coated, and with a long and fluffy tail. The speaker’s comrade, as far as Edgewise could tell, was leaner, but still as close to the clouds as the loud one in terms of height. They must grow ‘em tall out here… he thought, before quickly responding. He had approached this strange place in stealth, but now that he’d been found out, he felt honesty was now the prudent way to go.

“Oh, trying not to be spotted as I checked this place out. Trying and… failing. I apologize, I hadn’t run into any ‘Keep the hell out’ signs. Unless that’s what you two are. Signs.” He tilted the tip of his tail upward, mirroring the friendliness of the stalk-chewing cat. Wait, stalk-chewing? He’s got some kind of plant in his mouth! That’s somethin’ I’ve never seen before.

“I’m Edgewise.” He said in introduction. He didn’t quaver or quiver as he spoke, and despite his bodily smallness he had a confident and clear speaking voice.
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 Now, see, he had to go back and question Helix about all this twoleg transformation stuff! He made a mental note of that shit after it was spoken. The patchwork tom wouldn't get away without a barrage of questions when they were heading back to the Keep. For now though, he had to be all professional and shit.

[indnet]More or less, anyway. He never quite spoke "professionally" when it came to other cats. High rank or no.

 After he greeted the other cat, the fellow returned with something quite amusing. Hell, if he were in the guy's position, he might have said the same thing! The brown tomcat bellowed out laughter at his reply, clearly amused. "Fuckin' hard to be sneaky when this place's as flat as a straight whisker." He wasn't good at expressions neither was his writer. "We're workin' on gettin' some other signs an shit but right now, we're the best signs this place's fuckin' got." He said with a grin and still an amused twinkle in his amber eyes. "We're also workin' on gettin' other cats. You ain't too shifty to join, are ya?" He knew some cats were loners and some were not. If this guy was snooping this close he must have some level of interest.

 Edgewise? Was that a warrior name? Hmm... He must be smart or some shit like that. "I'm Moosebellow." He flicked his tail tip at the calico tom. "That jackass is Helix." He spoke such lovely phrases about all the creatures that he liked.

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^^Of course there would be questions. One did not simply and casually make mention of transforming humans to one who either didn’t know what humans were, or to one who knew that humans weren’t really supposed to transform. Thankfully, the little siamese had been found to delay those questions - for a time.

He listened, idly, to the conversation, much like skimming a book, though he kept his eyes on his surroundings, while he used grooming as sort of a ploy. Some cats were bonded to others, and brought company with them; a distraction while another did the dirty work. Large ears shifted and twisted, listening for any other sound.

He glanced off, into the distance, debating if he wanted to go after the field mouse that he detected. He stood as Mooser was introducing him as a jackass, and Helix purred a grin over towards the two.
 

“Welcome to the clan, kid.”

^^

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Edgewise listened carefully to Moosebellow’s words… which wasn’t a difficult job, as the big male clearly had no trouble making sure he was heard! Moosebellow indeed! Teal eyes shifted to the distinctly-patterned fellow. And this one is ‘He-Licks’? No, that can’t be right… Or perhaps it was? He had been licking his paw to groom, a moment ago, maybe he’s got that name because he cleans himself a lot?

More importantly, they were working on getting other cats! Well hey, I’m an ‘other cat’. I qualify! The smaller male’s short-furred tail wiggled with excitement at the prospect of being somewhere, being part of a clan! Getting the hell out of the Flats-of-Death and into somewhere with some Ups and some Shadows and some Secret Places! Oh yeah, Edgewise’s positivity was plain to see.

Buuuuut then there were the shifty concerns. Too shifty? Edgewise was thinking after the names were shared and Helix offered a fine purring grin. I am shifty. I should tell them, be up front about it. But how shifty is too shifty? Ahh damn, they’re looking at me. Okay, admit to the shift, be open about the shift!

“I… really would like to join a clan. Full disclosure, I am shifty, b-but not in a bad way!” He moved a little to the side as he shared his words, hoping to build a little trust by moving in a casual way. ”I don’t steal, and I don’t snoop on anybody. I’m little, and I’m pretty fast, and I can be quiet. When I’m not covered in prairie dust and trying to win a Stinky Competition, I can sneak around okay.” He recognized that recent evidence suggested he wasn’t particularly stealthy, but it had been a rough few weeks out there in the grasslands.

”If there’s space in that… thing, for a hard-working male, I’d… love to be a part of it.” Without meaning too, he breathed out a sigh of relief at the end of his words. Just the idea of belonging somewhere safe was so appealing after the harrowing coyote-escapes and the horned-monster-stomping and that fox. Plus, these two males were different. The whole clan was probably different. How could he turn that down?

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The other pointed cat spoke in response to his words and once again, he laughed. Alright, this guy was fucking great. If Quinn didn't end up liking him, he sure as hell did! Although it wasn't even a concern in his eyes, if the leader put up with him, then Edgewise would fit in just fine.

"You know what, kid? I think you're just the right amount of shifty for us! And if you want, I'll join in a Stinky Competition with ya any day of the fuckin' week!” Why the fuck not, right? He already had that vet with Quinn about the skunk piss. He might as well go all out in a little game with the newcomer. If he was serious, anyway.

"I think you'll fit in just fine!" And then he would jerk his head in "come on" motion, as he bagan to walk towards the keep. He turned to meow to Helix, "Let's head back to the Keep! We'll fuckin' find Quinn and get Edgewise all settled in with the others." Ah, Quinn, he would quite like to see her. She'd be thrilled to have another cat with them. A funny one to boot.

As he lead them back, he tossed a question to the newcomer. "So, you a warrior then? From another clan?" With his name that's what Moosebellow assumed. But everyone knew what they said about assumptions.
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^^Helix folded his ears back, wincing softly with the twitch of his nose. Oh boy, Mooser was going to love this one, since it seemed that he liked to talk just as much as Mooser! Helix was about to find an excuse to leave - maybe the field mouse he’d detected - but then he mentioned shifting and Helix arched his brows.

“Felines can transform, too?” Helix mused, unsure what the term meant and unsure why Edgey here was moving like that. Was there something wrong with him? Helix narrowed his eyes, then shrugged it off.

“Yeah, you guys can go back to the House, and I’ll continue the patrol.” More importantly, he wanted some quiet time and he wanted that field mouse.

/exit Helix

^^
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Edgewise felt his heart seem to shrink inside his chest. Oh no… Did I somehow just sign up for a REAL Stinky Competition with this guy? ”Ah-hah...” he laughed weakly, thankful that the laugh was quiet and probably missed as Moosebellow continued on in what was, likely, his usual boisterous way. Tail up in quickly-recovering happiness, Edgewise popped along on the tips of his dusty paws, joining the larger male on his right as he moved. He heard Moosebellow and then He-Licks refer to the bone-place… bone-zone?… as both a ‘Keep’ and a ‘House’. He’d have to figure out what the proper name was for the tall, ivory-colored thing… Though he was getting the sense that he might have trouble learning proper names.

”Pleasure to have met you, He-Licks!” Edgewise called out as he and Moosebellow left. He figured that the neatly-patterned male on patrol had no problem hearing him; he had tremendous and almost noble ears, in Edgewise’s estimation. He made a mental note to ask him about the ‘transforming’ he mentioned later.

It was then that Moosebellow asked his question. Edgewise began with a roaming groan of uncertainty. “Mmmaybe? Probably? You’re going to think I’m bonkers, but a few weeks ago I just… woke up, out there on the steppes. Like I had been sleeping my whole life. I knew who I was, how to hunt and talk and piss properly but… Actual events in my life were all gone. So any clan I might’ve been a part of, siblings, any mates… Just mist.” He shook his head briskly as they walked, trying to whisk away the unpleasant memories he did have. “I uhh, hope cats who are bonkers are still welcome here at the...” He looked up at the looming, bone-colored structure. Crap, what had they called it, again? They had each said something different, and now all I can remember is what *I* call it!

”At the bone-zone?”
 

M for Language

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 The new tomcat joined him on his right and they were off! Well, the two of them were but Helix quickly dipped out. Moosebellow paused to look back at him, giving a single nod of his head. ”Alright! Sounds good to me. Be careful and all that sappy shit!” He turned to look back at the Keep while shouting back, ”Don’t worry! I’ll come find you later and we can continue chattin’!” Oh no no, he wasn’t getting out of their conversation that easily. Moosebellow would for sure find the tomcat later and pepper him with transformation questions.

 And then, he was off with Edgewise again. He seemed nervous about divulging how he’d gotten here but ooohh boy, he didn’t know how normal his getting here actually was! ”Ha! You ain’t fuckin’ bonkers, believe it or not that’s some of the most sane fuckin’ shit ‘round here. Get this, pretty much all of us woke up here the same fuckin’ way! Me included. You’re gonna think I’m fuckin’ bonkers after this but, get this, I died. I died and fuckin’ woke up here like some sort’a sick prank from StarClan!” Oh, he had a new buddy to commiserate with. He was on cloud nine being able to vent with him. ”Granted, I remember all my clanmates and shit but still. Crazy as fuck, right? So, don’t worry, you ain’t gonna stick out none around here.” Hopefully he knew after this that he was not bonkers and that everyone would get him.

 The bone-zone? ”Hahaha! The bone-zone? That’s rich, kid. No, that there’s called a ‘Keep’ or a ‘Castle’ apparently.” At least that’s what Angeliccannon had called it. He didn’t really know himself so, whatever. He was down to call it whatever so long as it gave shelter and a strategic point to watch out for enemies.

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Edgewise stopped in his tracks for a moment. His blood felt like it similarly stopped, halting in his veins until the beats of his heart caused a traffic back-up through the interstate of his arteries. Died?! Death! Did *I* die? Was I killed, and sent to the Plains of Purgatory, and now I’m walking into some kind of bone-house of eternal torture?
 
Thankfully, the grim and gruesome thoughts were blown away by the veritable tornado of enthusiasm and gusto gushing from Moosebellow. Edgewise felt guilty for focusing on his own possible death, rather than giving the other male his full attention as she shared something about himself. He refocused, and nodded his head and shoulders in acknowledgment that he wasn’t going to stick out, at least in terms of mysterious awakenings.
 
At the chuckling over his naming confusion, Edgewise laughed good-naturedly at his own goof. ”Ahh, Keep or Casshole, okay, I can work with those.” Edgewise found himself near enough to a three-cats-high broken wall of the white stone, and he trotted up it with ease. The stone felt nice against his footpads; it had absorbed a lovely amount of warmth from the sun, and it felt like walking on something alive. He continued his conversation with Moosebellow as he took this alternate path, as they were still quite close to each other.
 
”Would you be willing to give me a little run-down on the others in the Clan, aside from He-Licks? Not to gossip, just to let me know what I’m in for?”
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Casshole? Was that what he said? Had his ears deceived him? He snorted in amusement. He opened his mouth to correct the guy but then changed his mind last moment. Who fucking cared? It was close enough anyway."Yeah, they're weird fuckin' twoleg words." But whatever, it gave name to the weird structure.

He idly glanced up at the tomcat up on the wall, he continued his low path in easy strides. They were nearly there but he should be able to give a quick run down. "Let's see..." Who to start with? "There's Quinn who's the boss. She's real fuckin' nice. Real great and kind and," He should probably stop himself from gushing lest he he say something he couldn't take back. He backpedaled with a chuckle. He forged onward, intent on covering himself with giving more information. "Real awesome! And uh, there's Snail. He's an old fuckin' man and he makes some weird 'art' stuff." It was a little strange but fun to look at, he guessed.

The castle looked up closer, he could even see the outline of a cat or two on the high walls. "Emberfrost who I ain't talked to much but she seems alright." He should probably visit her at some point. That's what a good deputy would do right? "Shrikeheart who's a fuckin' tight ass!” He bellowed out laughter, amused by the tom's insistence on being serious.

He lead them into the crumbled entryway as continued, "Flower who has a real interesting story. Really though, you should go fuckin' talk to her and ask about it. You'll be fuckin' amazed! She's also one of our medicine cats. The other," At least in his fucking opinion, the other healer should be this guy. "Is Angeliccannon. He's real fuckin' weird. He's the one who knew the name of all this twoleg-stuff." But weird was par for the course with the spiritual types.

That was everyone, right?

He passed along more rubble and half destroyed structures as they went to find Quinn.
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Atop the wall, Edgewise twitched from his neck to his rump as Moosebellow interrupted his own description of Quinn.

Great and Kind and... what? Monstrous!? Cannibalistic!? Taller even than He-Licks and Moosebellow *combined*?!! Moosebellow's chuckle only heightened the imagination, as though some seasoned veteran were darkly chuckling at what the green and inexperienced soldier was about to go through in the trenches. Or, at least, that's how it was to Edgewise.

Then Snail, who was old, and a 'fuckin' man', so it seemed. What's it take to earn *that* title? the cream-colored cat quietly wondered. As the big brown below continued, Edgewise was making his way over a particularly jagged section of shattered wall, sticking his paws here and there to make his way through the ruined structure. Gruesomely, he imagined he was walking through the carcass of some giant, ancient thing that had died out here... And the lake was its blood... And the dirt its guts! And Quinn was the ghost haunting it all, inhabiting the body of a three-foot tall cannibal monster-cat!

Thankfully, Moosebellow continuned, again succeeding in temporarily gusting away the odd imaginings with his gusto. Emberfrost, okay. Shrikeheart, tight ass, got it. Then there was Flower, who had a story, and... And Jellick... Anjellic Anon? Who was weird. And also a medic.

As often happened with introductions, Edgewise immediately began mixing or forgetting the names as he walked. He remembered Shrikeflower, who had a fuckin' story, and Slug was a two-legged man? And someone had or was a tight ass, who was that... Emberflower? Wait, were they all named flower? And at the top of the pyramid, like some demonic sphinx, was the spectre of Quinn, who caused seasoned veterans to chuckle...

"I'll... have to try to meet them all! At least so they know who I am, and don't give me the third degree." He shook his head a little. "Thank you, Moosebellow. I didn't know what I was going to find here. I still don't really know, but at least... At least there's some good cats here. Thank you."

 

M for Language

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