To feel lonely in the night

@Ira

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The children were finally weaned; oh how time flies. All the other parents he had met on his journeys before were right when they said the puppy stage didn't last very long at all. From little potatoes who couldn't do much other than sleep and eat, they were now wandering around wide-eyed and curious of the world they could now see - as well as eat more solid food as opposed to needing Ira around them constantly.

It was bittersweet really.

It meant he would no longer have to fear sleeping in his den next to his wife anymore thinking he would crush their young accidentally in his sleep. It also meant that they would soon be old enough, going out in the world with little for him to do to protect them as he could now other than preparing them for what was to come.

At least in this stage of their life @Quicksilver could take over babysitting duty for a bit so that the still-new husband and wife can spend some time together without being denbound.

“I wonder if that guy is still wandering the maze.” He'd mention casually, uncertain if he told Ira of the blonde troublemaker who had challenged him to the maze just to get immediately lost. Would his body even stink for Ira to pick up in the wind at this time? It was long enough ago the stench would have long worn off... Oh well.

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Ira too had let her thoughts drift to their children even as they left the den for some time to do exactly the opposite. Maybe they would always think of their brood now that they were officially parents. After all, what parent did not fear for their child's safety? What parent did not cherish the memories that had passed and hope for the success of the future? Despite it all though, she was oh so glad to be able to leave the den. Her legs felt as if they had fallen asleep permanently, even when she did leave to excuse herself and tend to her needs or rummage around their hunting grounds for a fresh meal. She had missed the fresh air and the calming patterns of her patrols, but now was still not the time for work.

The married couple had left their cubs in the care of Quicksilver, something that only mildly concerned her as one of them was not present, but all the same, she trusted the pale medic. There had been a rough patch once, but Quicksilver had more than made up for it at the end of her pregnancy. If she had to leave her children in the care of anyone, it would be him. The duo moved through mountain peaks with the sun long gone since it dipped beneath the edges of the earth. The night was calm and peaceful, though she couldn't help but notice where they were heading as her husband led them to the southern reaches of the mountain range.

It was a night out, something they should take advantage of while they could, though she wondered if it was wise to leave the confines of their borders for unwandered lands. A comfortable silence had fallen between them at some point, perhaps they both were relishing in some quiet for once accompanied by clear skies...well, that is until Hiero broke the silence with a rather unusual question. “What guy?” She knew of the maze that led down the mountainside, the spire-like walls could already be seen against darkened skies as the moon illuminated pale rock. Once before had they wandered it together, following twisting paths that seemingly led nowhere and everywhere for hours until they had to retire to the summit. Never did they find the way to the very end though...and now she couldn't help but wonder if anyone had.

“I am still not convinced these paths lead anywhere. Pretty as the dead ends may be, their formation is still unusual.” Any mountain she had ever climbed held no structure like this one. Jagged edges, of course, sudden drops, sometimes, but a maze... they were as if a greater being had reached down and pulled the earth into the sky. She couldn't help but wonder what the gods had created them for. Was it a test of sorts or did they act like walls of solitude and protection? Perhaps there was no end, only a destination...she had heard of treasures bestowed upon mortals for various reasons, or tempting prizes to the daring. It may very well be possible this maze held something of the like only at the center for those who surpassed its many challenges.

Even if there was nothing to behold from the strange formation, they still may be able to use the location to their advantage, but only if they could scope out all there was in store before subjecting another to the tricks left within. “I would like to try again. Not now perhaps, but another time.” Maybe when the sun was high. As much as they both could likely use the break to literally get lost, it was not something she would subject her children or Quicksilver to should they wander too deep in the night and take longer than they anticipated on their little date night. “Where I am from, children ascend to the adult ranks by finding their path in life. I would like our own to undergo such a journey. Depending on what skills they choose to pursue, a different task may be given to prove themselves...if we know this place to be safe, then it may prove as an excellent test of sorts.”

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“Some hot-headed blonde.” He'd reply casually. So it turned out he had forgotten to tell Ira all about it after all. Well, better late than never he supposed, right? It wasn't like Hieronymous was known to be keeping such secrets from anyone, let alone Ira. He was a man of some and held them close to his chest, but they were all personal matters, none that should or would affect the pack or their family. “He challenged me and I warned him - but he insisted and well... I haven't seen him since.”

Just because he didn't see the man around, it didn't mean that the blonde was now lost to the walls of the maze... but still, it clung to his mind believing that there was still a chance he would still be lurking within. Keeping himself fed on rats and rainwater just waiting to wreak vengeance on the high king who trolled him into wandering in on his own volition. “He was a rather unpleasant fellow if you ask me.” With a shrug, he was clearly not too concerned for the safety of the guy. Keeping the following to himself, he wouldn't mind if the guy was trapped in the walls after all.

She went on about her birth pack's beliefs. He'd nod along to her words, agreeing that he would only thrust their children through the maze only once the two of them were comfortable with the ins and outs of it should they get lost and need to be found. “I wouldn't be opposed to either of those~” He'd chime back in, smiling at the thought of it all. How proud they could be when their young ones would come out on the other side. “Another time I would gladly join you on another attempt.”

He'd slow his pace just a bit as he focussed on Ira, angling his body to face her a little more while he carefully sidestepped to keep his stride going. “About your birth pack, I don't know anything about it. Do you want to tell me about it? If not that is completely fine as well.” Even she could have her secrets as well. The past was where its at and he would not dig too deep if she would guard it as he did with his.

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A tempered man then, good riddance. He was a fool to walk so blindly into the maze's reach, it was clearly what it wanted after all. As far as she could tell they were here to lure and tempt the bold and brash, maybe even the pitifully curious. Some wolves just had no idea how to keep their head above water even at the most shallow of rivers. “He challenged you...to what pray tell?” To enter the maze? Well, if Hieronymous had warned him then the rest was on his own head, but that's exactly what happened to cocky men. If he was as brash as Hiero had suggested then she had no qualms knowing he might be lost to the maze. It was one less threat they would have to deal with after all, especially if he managed to find his way out and seek the High King out in anger.

“Sounds like the gods gave him what he deserved.” Though they would not wander deep she could not help but let her eyes roam the walls, a paw reaching out to graze over the marks left behind from previous endeavors, though many had been scratched out from unsuccessful paths. With what tricks laid within she would not be surprised if Loki himself was the one who reigned over the jagged peaks. How silly for him to resort to the interference of the daily life of mortals, but perhaps he had grown bored elsewhere. It would not be the first time after all, or so legend told.

Hieronymous was a good listener, he always had been and he would let her speak in full as she proposed the path she wished to place their children on before inputting his own thoughts. To her pleasure, he seemed to have no concerns or disputes with the request and so it would be done. A coming of age would be held the following summer. “Then it shall be done. Perhaps once the children are used to the care of Quicksilver we can escape for longer hours without complaint.” Though maybe they would always prefer the guidance of their parents over another, even if he was no longer a stranger. Only time would tell really.

“I doubt the maze will be solved in a day's time though.” The last part was added under her breath, a note more so for herself than her husband. Already they had tried to navigate the paths for hours with no end. How far they made it was also unknown so long as the end remained a mystery. Another question would follow, though from her husband this time as a hum sounded from her throat. “So you finally ask.” Really it was only a matter of time. Many of Vanderfell's values had come from the laws she grew under, though suitable changes had been made of course. “There is much to tell. I don't suppose there is a place you would like to start? I will give warning though, not all was pleasant.” They had never dawdled on the past, only the future for what came could be manipulated now through their actions. Surely everyone had their own horrors, or so she assumed given the conditions she had been raised under, but she was not one to ask for another's tale. It was well possible that the painted man would find nothing overly grimm in what she had to share, but the warning seemed necessary anyways.

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“I think he believed he could solve the maze before I can.” His challenge was honestly not completely clear to the High King considering he had no interest in it in any way to ask for clarification. Considering Hieronymous' flippant attitude toward the topic, he had little care for the man if he was lost in the maze he had burdened onto himself. Cruel as it may be, there was realistically only so much he could do with a bull headed man like that.

Ira seemed to think the same way. She too couldn't really care for the poor fool's fate and if he was now just a pile of bones to be picked at by scavengers, or a ghoul just clinging to life while wandering its walls. He never believed Ira to be a saint, nor did he believe himself to be either. They were kind to a certain degree, Hieronymous perhaps more lenient than she was but perhaps more strict in others... Their relationship was still rather new and the two were still discovering things about their new partner and probably would be for the rest of their lives - something he loved to think of.

“I don't think we can either. Quicksilver is kind and gentle, I'm sure they'll grow fond of him as we are in no time.” He couldn't see how anyone wouldn't like Quicksilver... the only one that came to mind would be Orlaith but she always seemed to have some kind of chip on her shoulder. Even now as High King she didn't seem to see Hieronymous as Ira's equal. Which didn't really bother him but it was obvious enough to take note of.

So she was not only anticipating he would ask such a thing, but she also waited. A thought that made him chuckle lightly to himself. “We have our whole lives, you can start wherever you'd like.” He had all the time in the world to listen, weeks, months, years even if he was lucky to listen to this story if it was necessary. With the mention that not all of it was pleasant, he'd only brush her with his shoulder in an act of support - hoping she would only share what she felt comfortable with and not pressed to do so just because he asked.

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The roan woman hummed in thought as she pondered a moment longer on this…golden man that had now been lost to the maze, or so they assumed. How bold to believe something like that when others who lived nearby had yet to pave the way. Still, if he had managed to survive, she would not be opposed to speaking to him about his findings. Even if he had only been as far as they had, perhaps his way of navigating the maze would differ or he would have noticed something they had failed to notice along their own travels.

That was neither here nor there though as the man in question was now lost, dead, or far away from their lands. Ira could only assume that if he had managed to escape the tricks of the mountain rise that he would refuse to return given his challenge and bull headed bluntness, but she also did not know him or if he was stupid. Taking a moment to wander near one of the jutting faces of rock, she brushed her side up against the wall to uncover some dusted over claw marks similar to her own. Maybe others had tried to mark the walls once before too, or perhaps they were only a trick of the mind where she was seeing what she was searching for in hopes of finding something new.

“That would be pleasant.” Ideally everyone in the pack would get along, her children obviously included in that mix, but she knew all too well that no life ever wound up so perfect to avoid conflict. Already Quicksilver had made her doubt his abilities or loyalty, Orlaith was brutish and believed muscle would solve anything. Both were frustrating for the queen who must spend time cleaning up after them. It was just another part of her duties to ensue the pack survived and ran smoothly. Luckily, neither had given room to bring disaster to their borders, not yet anyway (that she knew of).

“I suppose you are correct.” There was plenty of time to share the gritty details of their past. It was nothing she hid from even if she did not speak freely of the troubles of her past. If asked she would have no issue revealing what she often kept tucked away for it was simply a part of who she was today and shaped her into the woman she was now. “You already know I came from northern mountains. I may have even mentioned the war torn land. The packs surrounding the northern ranges had tensions high long before I or my sister were birthed, but even within our home there was drama. I avoided it to the best of my ability, but removal from the topics at hand were impossible when the topic was you.”

Golden orbs shifted to her husband as he leaned against her in a brief touch. She knew already it was his way of comfort, though once more it was not a blotch of history she wished to hide beneath the ink. His gesture would still be appreciated though and returned with a gentle bump of her own. “I was born out of wedlock. Something despicable enough for my pack, but the male in question was not one of our own. He was a stranger, a lone man and a traveler. They say he tainted my blood. A blight on the pack’s. We were not pure the same as they were and for that my sister and I were often looked down upon. To make matters worse, our mother, the only one we had left passed away after giving birth. Something went wrong and she bled out in the snow.”

There had been rumors surrounding her death as well. Those who suggested it as the man, a spy of sorts from one of their enemies. Her mother had been one of the nobles amongst the ranks so it was not as if she was a nobody to the pack, she was valued. “Some say it was not an accident. There were always rumors overhead about my family. I was told as a child that my sister and I were found out alone, left with the corpse to freeze to death and perish as well. A slow death compared to the mercy of teeth had she actually been killed as the rumors suggested.” Yes, quite sad and very tragic. To think then could have been the end of her story, but the gods had other plans in store, or so she assumed given that breath still filled her and now she had welcomed new life of her own into this world.

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Yes, pleasant was one way to put it. In a perfect world everyone would get along with one another, his and Ira's children would be the favourites among them all and grow up to be healthy, well balanced individuals and the pack would know no trouble during their stay here in these new lands that they now had to call home. But this was but a dream. No life was perfect. No family was perfect despite the pictures one would see on the mantle of a home. They all had their dark secrets, some more shrouded by darkness to hide easier than others.

Life was unfortunately cruel and one had to be either strong to handle that burden, or more cruel to compensate. Thankfully less chose the later, but it was them he feared the most. For now not only his sake, but that of his now family as well.

Not long after the invitation to speak her story, Ira began from the very beginning and he held onto every word she uttered. It seemed that she too had a difficult youth, as most did - one that he had not heard of before however. It was unique than the usual stories told by someone and their upbringing. Everyone had their own spice to it, but Ira's was different completely than just a few simple notes. She was seen as curse, a mistake, a blight as she had put it so awfully simple.

It would explain a lot about her. The way she acted and carried herself. He wasn't certain if that was the end of her tale and allowed silence to linger just a little bit before speaking up, not wanting to cut off any other bits that might follow. “That does all sound quite awful.” Not wanting to downplay her warning that came before the story, he agreed with the statement that it wasn't all pleasant. “Who found you?” And why did they take her and her sister in if they were seen in such a terrible way?

Well... he was thankful for whoever it was that didn't let them freeze to death as pups - but still, he was curious. How could one bring in children they detested just to be raised with judgemental eyes upon them?

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Her husband had little to say on the matter, though she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. That was simply how he was, affectionate with a listening ear and positive on almost every note, but there were somethings you just could not be positive about and it was hard to navigate a conversation when he like knew she wasn’t looking for his sympathy or pity on the matter. The only option left really was to sit and nod or perhaps comment on how awful life could be.

“The alphas of the pack.” Found, gifted, bestowed, the story still changed though she trusted the word of the high king and queen most. Even if they were not held in the same regard as their own children, they had always been honest, only withholding the truth until they were ready to hear such. “Though according to the High King, we were not found, but left. Our father called for them, carried us in his maw and explained that he would leave so long as we were taken in. He had no milk for us, and fortunately, our mother despite her desecration, was beloved and honored within the pack. That made us valuable to a point.”

Enough so to contribute, enough so to maybe pay back what price their mother had cost, but they would never be the same or held to the same regards. Such was the way that she had come to accept when she was younger. “We were raised as the High king’s own, though everyone knew us not to be. My sister and I thought they lied when we were told until we were older where he sat us down to tell us the truth. The pact was strict, far more so than Vanderfell Woods. We had to earn our place, our meals, and no one would intervene if another decided to take from those seen as lesser. Not for us at least.” Again tragic, but she seemed to shrug the experience off like water off her back.

“My sister was more social than myself despite it all. I chose to remain quiet, do as I was told and prove my worth. I did the grunt work and what was normally expected of a royal child. Eventually my strength began to show since I did not waste time with childish idiocies like many other yearlings did. We still had war at our throats after all, and eventually the High King made me a war general. He trusted my strength and that emotions would not deceive me. He was right.” Maybe now her demeanor would make more sense. She still was not that old all things considered and she had grown up far too fast to please those who could never be pleased.

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And just like that every question he had both silent and verbalized were swiftly answered. He nodded along as she said it was the Alphas of her pack that took her in, and the rest that followed all made sense. Like puzzle pieces all fitting perfectly into place to make the grander image that was his now wife. None of this changed his thoughts on her, instead it made the painted man more appreciative of her if that was even possible.

She was strong because she had to be. Given no other choice than to work to earn her place, to earn some semblance of respect and live the life she was given no matter how cruel it might have been. Hieronymous wouldn't compare what she had lived through with his own story, nor that or anyone else he had heard before this. Everyone's own backstory was their own scar to bear, each hurt in their own right and some left more vicious mark on them than others over time.

If anything all of this made her fit for the role as leader more than ever. She had a past to hold her together during tougher times, lessons that were taught to her even if they were difficult to follow and now was put to practice here. “I see.” He'd chime in near the end softly. Letting his eyes wander for a moment as if he could see it all being played out through her verbal recording. “What made you leave them?” He could take a wild guess as to why, but it was better to hear the truth instead of fabricating his own reasons. He as curious after all, and if she wanted to talk, he was here to listen to it all.

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“What do you think?” He like already had a guess to wager as to why she left, anyone could probably guess after what she had already shared, but it seemed she would need to explain anyways. “
It doesn’t matter how hard you work when others have already made up their mind. You can scratch an image all you want, but it will never erase broken tradition. So I left.”

She had little options really, especially if she chose to stay in that hell hole. Between the war and the shit she’d get within her own pack there were no means to justify her stay. She was better off wandering on her own to find her own where her work would be appreciated. Why go down with a drowning ship if they refused to listen? Perhaps that was just the Nordic way…be stubborn till the very end and seek to end means by their own fangs.

It was just one of the reasons she had set off on her own, and one that she made Vanderfell. Not all was wrong in Hengfell. They had the right idea on some accounts, but some of their beliefs, their traditions, hindered what they could have been. Rather or not they still stood was unknown to her, but it mattered little. She would not go back. Not while their puristic ways of blood still existed within the ranks. Vanderfell was a breath of fresh air in comparison.

“I suppose I have succeeded given how I have gained a following of my own. I was never ambitious to the goal of becoming a queen, but if no one else will do it right then I suppose it fell to me to satisfy my wants.” And here they were now. A queen, courted by her king with brood of their own. A legacy to fulfill them and followers to help aid their goals. Really if she thought about it they were now history in the making.

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He knew a rhetorical question when he saw one. Instead of opening his mouth and sputtering out his assumption, Hieronymous offered a sympathetic smile instead. Because she was right. It didn't matter what you did, once someone's mind was made up there was no returning from that... not really at least. And to have a whole group of them feeding off of one another's thoughts and assumptions, it would be a never ending vicious circle.

Even he wouldn't stay in such a place. Not for very long at least.

“I don't blame you. You made a wise decision. Did your sister remain?” This one he wasn't certain of the answer. Ira didn't mention her at any time so she couldn't be Orlaith or any of the women he had encountered here in Vanderfell or anywhere else... So where could she be? With his questions he felt like he was being nosy now... digging for more than what Ira had already divulged. But she would tell him when enough was enough right? And of course he would respect that boundary once it was placed.

With what followed he'd place his nose against her cheek in a tender yet somehow firm gesture. “You make the best Queen I have ever seen, and I will help you accomplish your goals until my final breath.” That was something he had decided upon long ago since they first had met. Since he felt his soul singing with her just being nearby as if it was screaming out to him internally that his soulmate was right there.

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The roan woman could only muse a chuckle as the questions continued. No, this time it has shifted from herself to her sister, but there was little to tell there. “No, she departed some time ago.” Although…maybe not departed in the same manner that Hiero might be imagining. “She no longer walks this land. We were young when it happened. Somewhere in our yearling days.” It had been another reason she left after her accomplishments. There was really nothing left for her there. 

A family that raised her out of obligation, a pack whom hated her every fiber for her blood, and a sister departed too soon. If her accomplishments were not enough to earn her place in the hearts of her pack then nothing would and she did not need false love or pity or hate from those meant to watch her back. She would thrive elsewhere. “It is the greatest honor one can reach in my culture. To perish on fighting breath is to earn your place in the great beyond. No fear, only loyalty and strength. She is in Valhalla now.” Though there was no way to check, she was sure of it. That was perhaps the one thing she regretted about leaving though. Her stone had been placed aside her mother’s and now she had no way to communicate with them.

Rather they could speak or not though, she knew they watched from above, even in these strange lands. Valhalla was not limited to one plane. There was speak of other worlds long before she arrived here and if this was another of the god’s planes then their reach would extend here as well. Glancing to the sky once more, Ira couldn’t help but notice how late it had gotten. It was already reaching darkness when they departed the summit, but now the stars spanned above with only the light of the moon to pave their path. Quicksilver would likely wish for their return soon, even if the children had run out of energy and fallen asleep. “It’s grown rather late in the evening. Perhaps we should return home and save the rest for another day.”

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Departed.

Yes, at first he though that perhaps she had left their homelands first to discover her own life, but Ira quickly corrected that. “... Ah.” Was all he could say at first. The single note squeaking out nearly against his will. “I'm sorry to have asked.” And he'd bow his head in a sign of respect for the dead. It was short lived as to not linger on it very long, but even he had to mourn the loss of someone, of a family member through marriage that he would never have the chance to meet.

At least Ira had a positive outlook on it all. Brushing it off somewhat and explaining that they believed in a life after this one. He couldn't say that he believed in such tales, but if it made losing a loved one easier, well... who was he to tell them otherwise? “That sounds nice.” He'd add with a gentle sway of his tail. Despite his disbeliefs it was still a nice picture to be painted.

His thoughts and any further questions were cut off as Ira drew his attention to their surroundings. The skies were growing darker by the minute, something he didn't notice as he was so taken in by Ira's story of her past. The skies were now twinkling brightly as twilight had long past and the moon took its place as the dominant light in the skies. His eyes even drew toward the sharp spires behind them, their dark figures more intimidating now that their greyscale bodies were pitch black and looming.

“Oh! I didn't even notice! Yeah, we should before Quicksilver starts to worry.” He chuckled softly at the thought, turning to walk by Ira's side on their journey back home and leave the darkened stones behind them.

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Already he tried to apologize, she expected nothing less from her husband, but as she said before there as no sorrow in what had occurred. She had grieved for her sister long ago, but she was some place better now. A place most warriors strived to reach. “You sound doubtful.” Though her words were spoken softly opposed to accusatory. It was naturally for him to not believe if he had not been raised the same.

She would not follow any false gods, only her own. Though it would be unfortunate if he too could not see what she saw and find hope in it. If he did not believe she could not leave a stone for him should something occur, and as for the other way, he would not be able to speak to her after her own time had come. Not to mention they would not be rejoined in the afterlife, but faith did not come in a day. Perhaps over time she could show him the way.

“I know she is safe now. No harm will ever come her way again. There is no need to apologize.” Luckily, they would not have to dwell on her sister’s passing long. He too would look up to the darkened blanket that covered the sky, a temple cast above darkened pillars that aided in holding the stars up. Maybe that was the true reason for Skelmir’s pass. No other peak reached into the sky like paws to touch the untouchable. There was little time to sit and stare though. Quicksilver was a rather large worry wart and if the children were not eating his nerves, their absence may as well.

With Hieronymous’ agreement, she would nod her approval. They had a long trip back even with the proximity to the summit, but night time would slow them as they were blinded by the shroud of trees and darkened rock. The peaks of the summit were never forgiving, only guiding as time would aid in the skill needed to traverse to the top reaches. Once her husband was ready, Ira would turn back to lead their path back to the soft caverns of home.

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