Welcome to Canis Major

a wolf and animal rpg (role-playing game)

Canis is a writing community for play-by-post (forum-based), freeform roleplay set in a fictional dream world in the intrusion fantasy genre. Most characters on Canis are wolves; many play elements are focused around wolves and canids, but the world makes room for a large variety of other animal characters such as dogs, horses, cats, bears, deer, and many, many more.

Our community is focused on flexibility, creativity, and collaboration. That boils down to a few important features:

  • There is no set activity requirement to write
  • The setting and plot are member-created and staff-supported
  • The game is continuously improved to increase fun and decrease stress

Learn more in our Rulebook!

P
And I see my ghost in the reflection


Afternoon Sunny/Clear
#1
P
Shiroshika
08-18-2021, 09:09 PM
Specifically at Blue Hollow on the territory map.

Stark was almost shocked to find this here. Among the mountain peaks there was a lake with a waterfall. He was surprised there was a waterfall streaming with this cold weather and constant snow, but here he had found one. And not only that- it didn’t exactly look like his home but it felt like it. Like the waterfall and lake back at Guarded Falls and the Glen. But mostly the Guarded Falls. It made him all emotional, staring at something that reminded him of his past life, and it made him wonder where he’d ended up and where everyone else was now. Even if he had not felt at home with his birth pack, the memories were bittersweet still, and something just broke free in him.

He sat down and slumped, staring at the pouring water. His ears pressed back, tail pressed firmly against his body as the tears found a way out of his eyes and down his cheeks. He did not want to cry. Crying was not something a male did. Yet he couldn’t help it. Stark had always been more emotional than he wanted to admit he was. He was just a dumb adult in an angsty teen phase that never emotionally grew up. And this place reminded him of that, it made him realize that there was still so much he could do better.

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#2
08-19-2021, 12:43 AM
^^
Cirilla was having the most irritating nightmare about Shadow, her ex-mate, that she woke herself up barking in her sleep. Again. It had been the third time this week that this had happened, and Cirilla being Cirilla, thought she could manage it on her own.

She ran laps around the borders. She chased rabbits, and other prey animals to exhaust herself; she found this really nice, really loud waterfall in their territory, and thought that it would be loud enough to suppress the barking, so that she wouldn’t hear it and be woken from it.

But then she also didn’t want someone to come up and find her asleep, should anyone want to visit the pretty waterfall, so she’d tucked herself behind the corner of the springs, but eventually, her barking had woken her and she had decided that perhaps chasing prey animals and running wasn’t enough. Perhaps a swim was in order.

But she hadn’t expected to find someone else here. She paused for a moment and then, with a deep inhale, prowled forward and sat right next to him.

“Hello! My name’s Cirilla! Who might you be?!” She smiled, peering over, and wagging her cinnabon of a tail, as cheerful as ever, despite feeling otherwise.^^

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#3
08-19-2021, 10:06 AM
Stark also hid his feelings and thoughts on things, but he did not hide them behind a mask of happiness like the – wolf? – did that approached him. Stark of course had no idea how she was feeling truthfully, though. All he saw was a happy-go-lucky, loud female that resembled a wolf yet seemed a little off. She smelled of Shirokisha, though, so Stark tolerated her overly happy demeanor. He did not want another repeat of his former life with the Firewing Brotherhood and all the wolves that lived in the other valley.

He wiped his paw over his face to get rid of the tears, not wanting to look like some fool or emotional, useless bastard. Good for nothing shit that he was. But even if he dried his tears, he did not put a smile on his face. That was exhausting. Instead, he tried to be more neutral. He looked her over for a bit, noticing her odd face shape and the different patterns on her fur, as well as her curled tail. That one stood out the most. She was smaller than him and even looked rounder in a sense, though that might simply have been the way she was build. Stark wasn’t the most sleek wolf either, to be honest.

‘’Uh- I’m Stark.’’ he responded shyly, still as awkward as ever. So far he’d only been chatting with the Shirokisha females and it weeeeeird. But he didn’t really know how to approach any of the males in the pack because he felt they might consider him not manly enough. Stark just… seemed to lack in a lot of aspects.

‘’You uh- you’re part of Shirokisha too, huh?’’ He’d said the name a few times now, and it was becoming easier to pronounce it every time he said it. It still felt foreign on his tongue, though. But despite that, Stark was actually making an effort in his free time to learn the language. Usually he just listened to Reiko, asked a few things here and there, and practiced by himself.

Stark always demeaned himself inside his head; he never realized he was actually going the extra mile, in some cases. Didn’t always consider himself worthy enough.

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#4
08-23-2021, 12:00 AM
^^
It had not occurred to Cirilla that he might have wanted time alone; that she might have been interrupting some magical solo moment. So she would smile at him as if she hadn’t come between something, wiggling her curled tail at him with the cheekist of smiles.

How else did one go about making friends, or at least, meeting new people, right? He wiped his face, and Cirilla tilted her head at him. She would not have thought that he was useless for being emotional. He was an interesting canine. He looked like Reiko, with a touch of ash and a little bit of cream, and Cirilla wondered if they might be related.

“Hi Stark!” Cirilla beamed up at him, giggling with the nod of her head. “Yeah! I joined not too long ago. Lady Reiko found me, and this place seems nice. You’re the first one I’ve met in the pack. How long have you been a member?”
^^
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#5
08-26-2021, 09:57 PM
When she wagged her tail, Stark couldn’t help but be distracted by it. He had never seen a curly tail before so it was quite interesting to see one now. He had never seen a curly tail on a wolf before, or a wolf with such coat stripes or such round cheeks. Then again, Stark also didn’t know what a dog was. Where he’d come from, there had never been any dogs. There was so much new in this world that Stark still had to get used to. He had to admit though, that curly tail was kind of cute. But Stark did not voice his opinion out loud.

Cirilla spoke of Reiko, and apparently Stark himself was the first wolf she’d met, besides the Empress. That made him feel a little bit honored. When she asked him when he’d joined, though- well, let’s say that if wolves could break into a sweat, he would have then and there. Because he could not remember.

When did he meet Reiko and join the pack? Honestly, his story was a weird one; he had never really officially joined? He had joined them on their travels and then just… stuck around. So he guessed it was safe to say he was indeed part of the pack now but it had not been a moment of decision. He had grown into it over time.

‘’I uh- I don’t really remember. A while ago. I never officially stated I wanted to join but I uh- I stuck around. And now I live here.’’ he said awkwardly, huffing softly in amusement at himself. Stark really just… grew into things. Slowly.

‘’But yeah… few months now. Somewhere in spring.’’ Yepyep.

‘’You um… when did you join?’’

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#6
09-15-2021, 11:25 PM
^^Cirilla blinked at him with the nod of her head, though she wasn’t sure what that meant. She supposed that she’d always been a member of a pack, even if she didn’t remember being taking in by her adoptive wolf mother. The same wolf mother who Cirilla had grown close to. The same one who had later betrayed her.

And it still stung, too. Yet, somehow, Cirilla had already begun to cling to others. She knew she shouldn’t; she barely knew them. Yet she did. She thought of Reiko with a smile on her lips. Sunshine in wolf form.

“A few days ago.” Cirilla giggled, licking over her hips and glancing back to the pretty boy. “She found me, very lost and confused… and tricked me into joining, so I could eat from the stash, so I wouldn’t feel bad about it. ” Cirilla snorted, though she wasn’t mad about it, even if she didn’t know what she was doing with her life.
^^
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#7
09-28-2021, 07:07 PM
Oh, so Cirilla was very new. Stark nodded, showing he’d heard her, and that he’d processed it. A man of usually little words, as one could see. As she continued to speak, he felt a small grin tug at his lips. He guessed it checked out, since she looked a little round. Like him. He liked food, too. But Stark mostly wanted to work for it. He didn’t know why he tried so hard to be liked. But he knew he couldn’t be liked because of his personality, so he tried to be liked for his hard work. So far it had worked here, which was a relief.

‘’I mean- who doesn’t like food? It’s one of the best things about life.’’ Stark said. Honestly he tried to live for food, as food kept you alive, in return. It was a simple fifty-fifty deal in this world. It made sense. ‘’Doubt- I would be happy if we could survive without eating food.’’ Yeahhh, he was starting to loosen up a little. But even then, his conversation skills were still as awkward as ever.

Hesitating and not knowing what to say next, his eyes fell back on what had caught his attention first. ‘’I like your tail.’’ he told her, though he then realized that may be taken the wrong way, and in an internal a panic he added, ‘’It’s cool. How did you get it to curl like that?’’
Haha yes, that was a perfect conversation holder.

Damn it Stark. Why did you have to be awkward?

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#8
09-28-2021, 08:08 PM
^^Oh yes, Cirilla was practically brand new. The only other wolf she knew in the pack was Reiko herself. And now Stark! How exciting! She couldn’t help but to grin as he mentioned liking food. Food was nice. “Oh yes! Food is nice!” Cirilla found herself thankful he wanted to talk about food instead of how she’d come to join the pack.
“I found this mutant deer that I want to track down and hunt. It was the biggest thing I’d ever seen! I bet it’ll taste good, too!” Cirilla licked over her lips, staring off into the distance as she thought about tasting the mutant deer.

And then Stark asked about her tail. It was curled upon her backside, until all the other wolves who had normal, straight tails. Her attention focused on her tail and then his tail, and parts of her smile faded. Why was her tail different from everyone else’s? “U-uh, thank you! It’s.. um… it’s always been curled like that, for as long as I can remember. I can make it go straight, with some effort, but I really gotta focus.” Cirilla said, tilting her head. “Thank you for the compliment. I like your… face. It’s very… um… nice to look at.”
^^
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#9
09-28-2021, 08:16 PM
Okay. Okay. You had Stark’s attention. ‘’Mutant deer? Mutant- how?’’ he asked. What type of mutant deer was she talking about? Extra eyes? Extra legs? Extra horns? What even was considered mutant? ‘’Is it still around? ‘Cause I wanna see it.’’ If she had seen it only recently he would honestly like her to point it out to him, please.

She seemed not all too happy about him pointing out her curled tail, and he wondered why that was because her tail was pretty and he did like it. Since it was something he hadn’t come across like- ever. Stark didn’t really know why he was drawn to unique things, or drawn exactly in what way; he was a simple guy that liked interesting things, okay? ‘’It’s cool.’’ he said again because- what else could he say? Ugh, socialness.

She complimented him right back, though she mentioned his face, and Stark shot her a confused look, as well as a slightly suspicious one. ‘’My face? Why my face?’’ What was so special about his face? He honestly… hated his own face. Because the markings on his face were the features he’d inherited from his father that clearly showed he was his father’s son. And that sucked. ‘’Err, thanks.’’

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#10
09-28-2021, 08:32 PM
^^Cirilla blinked at him with the most innocent tilt of her head. Why was he looking at her so strangely all of the sudden? So she narrowed her eyes - playfully, of course - right back at him and even leaned in a little. Were they having a staring contest that he hadn’t told her about? It seemed so! It never once occurred to her that perhaps he wasn’t used to being complimented. “I like to look at it. That’s why. Unless you care to show me other parts… ” Cirilla trailed off, taking a step back to look over the rest of him with an arched brow.

Oh! Right, the deer! “Uh, yeah! Somewhere! It chased me into Shiroshika and that’s how I met Reiko. So it should still be here somewhere, I think? You and that lovely face of yours should help me look for it later, ya?”
^^
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#11
09-28-2021, 08:53 PM
She suddenly started staring at him and Stark had no idea WHY she was staring at him. He looked very confused, then his eyes started rolling around, left and right, unable to keep eye contact as it made him feel really awkward and almost sick inside. She liked to look at his face? But what was so appealing about it? And as if it couldn’t get any worse, she suddenly made a comment that Stark had no idea how to react to. His literal response was to mentally shut down and stare with the biggest widest eyes he could possibly naturally show before his face would explode due to eye-overload. If a wolf’s blushing could have been seen from underneath that fur, Stark would have been totally red from tip to toe. ‘’I-’’

No words left him, and when the subject returned to the mutant deer he mentally clasped onto that so hard- like a car suddenly changing direction and skrrrr’ing through a turn. ‘’YEAH YOU SHOULD SHOW ME.’’ he basically screeched, his face screaming uncomfortableness and embarrassment. Had it been winter season he would probably have responded in a more daring manner due to hormones but- since that wasn’t the case now, Stark was just one big ball of angst.

Please don’t make fun of him for it.

‘’I mean – errr – I uh- I would- I would like that.’’ his voice turned into a shy mumble.

How did one talk to girls or even respond to any of this, at all? 404 system not found.

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#12
09-28-2021, 09:17 PM
^^They had somehow gone from ‘i dont know you so let’s make small chat’ awkward to an entirely different level of awkwardness -- a level that had completely blindsided Cirilla, though she was definitely holding her ground. At least, much better than Stark was! He’d gone from awkward yelling at her to suddenly being very shy and Cirilla couldn’t help but to giggle at him.

A cute, sheepish giggle that caused Cirilla to grin at him as she, of course, continued to look him up and down like he was the most delicious piece of meat she’d ever seen. Another lick of her lips, and Cirilla shyly glanced away for no reason at all, but to continue to tease him.

And only when she decided that the wait was enough, she’d turn back to him with the wag of her tail. “And what do I get for showing you?” There was another dramatic pause as she glanced up to meet his eyes for a moment, before barkiggling (barking + giggling, at the same time) at him with the wave of her paw.
 
Cirilla, stop, you’re going to break him for real.
^^
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#13
09-28-2021, 09:38 PM
She was just giggling uncontrollably and it reminded Stark why did not specifically like hanging out with girls because they were WEIRD. God, he wished he could sink into the ground right now and straight up disappear. He had no idea how they’d gotten from a normal conversation to- this. He regretted complimenting her tail. That’s probably how all this had started. He couldn’t believe he’d done that.

Her actions and the glances she gave him made him shiver and not exactly in the fun way. He was feeling all sorts of things he could not explain and honestly it made him feel more anxious than anything. And of course, Cirilla had to make it worse. She had to make a comment that was so suggestive that Stark believed his soul was leaving his body. He had no idea if she was being serious or just taunting him and playing with his head but honestly he considered the ladder and if he hadn’t been so shocked he probably would have ended up crying then and there at the thought that she might – in fact – be toying with him. But he was so lost for words he just stared and shuffled his ass over the ground like a nervous tic.

‘’W-what- what do you want in return?’’ he asked, almost fearful. Please be honest with him. He really had no idea what to expect or even do here. ‘’Are- are you serious or are you just playing around…??’’ he finally managed to ask, but he wasn’t sure if he would like the answer either way, whatever direction it went into. Stark knew he was on his way to get hurt.

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#14
09-28-2021, 09:49 PM
^^Cirilla was not so cruel to which she’d toy with someone to get a laugh out of them or purposely hurt anyone, unless she felt as though they deserved it. Really, Cirilla was just a cinnabon trying to make her way in the world. And then, when he sounded almost fearful, Cirilla’s smile broke and faded as she glanced at him with a more serious expression.

Why did he seem so afraid, all of the sudden? Cirilla was confused, and tilted her head with the softest of little whimpers as she glanced over to him. She hadn’t meant to frighten him, despite not knowing what she did or said to make him feel that way. “I was serious about liking your face, because it’s very lovely, and about the mutant deer. It’s here somewhere, I just don’t know where because I haven’t seen it since it nearly trampled me that one time. I was joking about asking you what you wanted in return.. ” Cirilla whispered softly, eyes on the ground as she gave another whimper.

“I didn’t mean to frighten or scare you, I was just… playing.. ” And now, for some reason, her own feelings were hurt. She took several steps back, ears and tail lowering as she nervously glanced around as she tried to look for a way out of this painfully awkward situation. “Per... perhaps I should just go?”
^^
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#15
09-28-2021, 10:18 PM (This post was last modified: 09-28-2021, 10:20 PM by StarkSpitfire. Edited 1 time in total.)
Oh. Now she looked sad and confused. Aaaaand Stark had ruined things, hadn’t he? She started rambling, about his face, the deer, the other thing. Stark bit his bottom lip and stared at her as she spoke, not sure where to pitch in, not even sure what to say. But once she was done and seemed ready to leave, Stark found himself snapping out of his trance and opening his mouth to frantically blurt out the first words that came to mind. ‘’No wait.’’

Oh shit. Uh. Uhhhhh. How was he going to fix this??? Gosh, her answer did both relieve and disappoint him, much like he had anticipated.

‘’I just- I uh- I-’’ UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
‘’Sowasthatflirtingorwasitnotorwhatwasit?’’ he rambled. Stark really needed to learn social cues, didn’t he? He hoped she wouldn’t leave because he didn’t really want her to. God, why was this stuff so awkward?
‘’Becauseifitwasflirting- I’veneverbeenflirtedwithbeforeandIdunnowhattosayordo- or- uhhhhhh.’’
Yes, exactly that.

‘’Alsoyoucan’tjustsaythatstufftoaguy. Youmightgivehimthewrongimpressionifyoudon’tmeanit- just sayin’-’’ he continued to ramble. Yes, don’t go and possibly make a guy horneh, pls.

Breathe Stark, breathe.

He inhaled sharply, filling up his lungs. His head spun for a moment. Aaaand he breathed out again.
Okay Stark, think.

‘’Please don’t go, just-’’ Don’t flirt with him if you don’t mean it???
God had he really ruined things again?

Stark could not let her leave if their mood was currently like this because- if he let her go like this now, with this as a last impression of himself, then he’d ruined things again. He had already done that with his former family, he couldn’t do that again. He didn’t want to do that again.

He didn’t want to end up drowning again.

He wasn’t sure why that was the thought that came to him near the end.

‘’I’m really bad with social interactions and especially with subjects like that. I- I didn’t know what to say or do or ifyouwereplayingaroundornot or- but uhmm don’t go? Please?’’
Honestly Stark was sure he would feel worse about the situation if he ended up alone right now.

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#16
Content Warning
09-28-2021, 11:21 PM
Content Warning
This post contains content that may be unsettling to some readers, including:
  • Slightly sexual? Maybe?
^^There was no coming back from this, was there? No, Cirilla really didn’t seem to think that there had been. So she turned to leave and took all over two steps away from him when he called to her and began to ramble at her like he’d lost his bloody mind.

It was like he was speaking a different language, because it felt like she was more confused, only understanding about half of it. He was talking so fast, like he wasn’t even taking a moment to breathe between words. Cirilla wasn’t sure what to say or do, herself, and if he couldn’t understand social cues, then it was very obvious that she needed to… not be social.

How did he go from being frightened and almost scared to a complete rambling lunatic? Her eyes narrowed and she tilted her head. For a moment, she was silent. “Will you understand this, then?” Cirilla whispered softly, though loud enough for him to hear. She swiftly approached him and shoved her nose in his neck, leaving a trail of kisses up his neck to his mouth.
^^
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#17
Content Warning
09-29-2021, 10:29 AM (This post was last modified: 09-29-2021, 10:32 AM by StarkSpitfire. Edited 2 times in total.)
Content Warning
This post contains content that may be unsettling to some readers, including:
  • Slight hint of sexual stuff!?!? I dunno I doubt Stark even knows at this point.
There seemed to be silence for what felt like an eternity and Stark was internally wheezing at the time, staring frantically. His breathing had sped up a little, but it went unnoticed to himself. He realized in that moment why he always used to avoid conversations with females in the past- it was because he didn’t know their true meanings, didn’t always understand them. And now, it was happening again. Stark guessed he still didn’t understand.

He had not changed, as much as he liked to believe he had. He was still dumb, overly pathetic, and a big idiot. He was probably still an awful wolf. He was probably more like his father than he wanted to admit. But while his father had blamed others and especially females, Stark usually just… blamed himself for anything that fucked up in his life.

When she broke the silence with a whisper and moved in closer only to take it to the next level – a more physical one – Stark’s body completely froze. He sat there just feeling it happen, and didn’t know how to respond. The fact he could feel like this outside of winter only made him more scared of himself. Why did he have to go and repeat the same mistakes over and over? Why did he think he could start over anywhere else and be a better man?

It wasn’t like he didn’t understand what she was doing; her physical actions were loud and clear. But Stark didn’t know if she was actually being serious about this or toying with his feelings. And… whatever she intended- Stark was going to regret his choices and actions either way, no? What was the best thing to do here? Pull back, not respond to it, and ruin any possible positive relationships he could have? Be bold and become like his father, move it a step further, probably end up ruining everything too by pushing her away and scaring her off? Honestly, in both situations he would be like his father; the man always took it from one extreme to the next. Stark had too, in the past. He probably would again.

Was there even a middle ground? Was there a way where he could both accept and deny and just… exist without any horrible consequences? Because he honestly didn’t mind the affection and attention and he low key actually really liked it but he didn’t want to be an absolute prick like his father was and everything was so confusing right now.

Instead of choosing either option to go with, he just sat there and let her kiss and groom his neck and face. Carefully, he returned some of it. On her ear, her neck, side of her face. This was fine, right? He wasn’t being overly creepy, right? He wasn’t a dick, right? He just returned to her what she gave to him and there was no way he could go wrong with that, right?

His heart was beating in his chest as fast as the speed of light and his head felt both heavy and light and he wasn’t sure if he was even consciously awake right now. Thoughts were racing through his head and for a moment he felt like he was about to pass out. He felt like he was asleep, yet fully awake at the same time. Both uncertain yet highly aware.

Like he could take on the world.

But at the same time like the world could trample and bury him.

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#18
10-02-2021, 11:32 PM
^^For some reason or another, Cirilla did not expect this. No, she expected him to run as if he was being chased, or to cower beneath her. Or maybe, even, to stop her from reaching her; to tell her that no, he wasn’t interested, that he’d made a mistake.

Shockingly, none of that happened. Instead, it felt like he had become frozen solid, and Cirilla wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. Should she keep going? Had she made a mistake? Was there not some sort of neutral connection here?

And then - oh! He suddenly moved, returning the affection to her, too. This was good, right? Or was he just trying to be polite? She didn’t know, and she was too afraid to ask, so she just continued to groom his face.

No, this isn’t awkward at all, see?
^^
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#19
Content Warning
10-03-2021, 12:00 AM (This post was last modified: 10-03-2021, 12:00 AM by StarkSpitfire.)
Content Warning
This post contains content that may be unsettling to some readers, including:
  • Strong language
Why was all this so… awkward? Was it because no one was speaking? Were they both winging this? Was even was Cirilla thinking? For fuck’s sake- what was STARK thinking? He didn’t even know anymore at this point. But here they were grooming each other and giving each other kisses and it wasn’t stopping nor was it becoming more and this whole time Stark’s brain was in overdrive and he was internally screaming because WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?? Was he supposed to keep going? End it here? Ask her what she was doing? What she was thinking? What she was feeling!?

He just awkwardly continued to groom with wide eyes, hoping she might say something at some point. If that was her plan. Or not. He didn’t know. Hell, he didn’t know what he was doing half the time. Maybe- maybe he should say something after all.

He stopped for a moment to stare at her. ‘’Um.’’ Um what, Stark? UM WHAT!?
‘’So uh- why did we just- do this?’’ Yes, why, what where, when, how.

‘’Um…’’ UM. UMMMMMM. ‘’D-do- do you like me- or-?’’

Stark didn’t know what to say, if only he could just SCREAM a high pitched scream to the heavens and then get sucked up by he sky and be abducted by aliens or something. Please, come take him now. Please abduct him.

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#20
10-03-2021, 01:01 AM
^^Here Cirilla was, not even a week into her membership with Shiroshika, and already making out with some stranger with a cute face, that she knew nothing about. Yup, we’re making waves. When the awkward kissing/grooming stopped, Cirilla looked up at him with wide eyes with a slow lick of her lips.

Um. That’s all he could say at this moment, and she supposed that was justified. What did people normally say after kissing on a total stranger-cutie, anyway? And then, of course, he asked why they’d just… done this, followed by the silly question of: did she like him?

So the sassy queen cleared her throat and took a step back. She shook out her coat, smiled at him, and sat down. She reached forward and placed her paw on his paw and took a deep breath. She wiggled her paws, because she liked the feeling of her paw on his paw, and for a moment, she didn’t say anything.

And then she peered up at him and wagged her cinnabon tail that he seemed to enjoy so much. “I was trying to show you that I liked you, but if you had to ask, I guess I did a very terrible job at it.” Cirilla frowned as her ears lowered, quickly removing her paw and just looking at the ground. Did that mean he didn’t like her back, despite that he had returned the affectionate gestures?

“Let me guess. You were just being polite, right?”
^^
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#21
10-03-2021, 10:24 AM (This post was last modified: 10-03-2021, 10:28 AM by StarkSpitfire. Edited 2 times in total.)
Had he fucked up? Had he ruined everything? He held his breath when she pulled back and took her time to settle down in front of him once more. That whole time he was just staring, not breathing. Until she placed her paw on his, only then did he exhale and suck in a staggering gust of air. She said she liked him, but Stark still wasn’t 100% sure what that meant. His head was swimming but he didn’t want to suddenly start assuming a lot of stuff. But… those who liked each other as friends didn’t start making out like that, right? Sorry Cirilla, Stark couldn’t help it. He was always overthinking everything.

‘’I- as in like like?’’ he asked her, once more to confirm that what was going on was indeed an act of more than simply being friends. Whatever the answer was, either way Stark had enough affection and confusion for probably the next couple of months.

Her question caught him off guard and his instant reaction was to awkward blurt out a ‘’no’’, followed by a flurries of stutters and confused, embarrassed eye rolls as he tried to find something else to look at. Because making eye contact was scary.

‘’I mean, I- I uh- I’ve never really done this before with any female??’’ Give poor Stark a break, he still hadn’t fully processed what had happened, just yet. Girls were often so over complicated, and it made Stark scared to speak his mind, because he had no idea what would happen if he said anything at all. They could take it either way, they could take ANYTHING he said in a negative way.

Internal screaming. Wheeze.
Gosh, how was he going to explain anything? God Stark, focus. Get yourself together.

‘’Okay, so- you’re pretty, I like your tail. You’re pretty cool, too.’’ he started off with, realizing he didn’t know anything about her, and neither did she know anything about him. And that made it extra awkward. ‘’I um- I grew up in an almost all-female pack and I never really uh- I never fully understood any of them? I had trouble communicating with them? I don’t know why but- I guess that’s a me problem. Honestly I got the same communication problem with guys-’’

He was digging his own grave here, wasn’t he? He let out a chuckle at how pathetic he truly was. Mostly to relieve some tension.

‘’I- I used to assume things, in the past. I never really learned how to interpreted certain social cues so I ended up always fucking up… I don’t want to assume anymore. So- that’s why I asked because- I wasn’t sure what your true intentions are. But I uh- I feel like I’m fucking up whether I’m assuming things or not?’’ Alright, alright. He was learning to communicate, slowly but surely. No?

‘’But if you do – uh – like like me then- that’s cool. I uh- we should uh- hang out some time.’’ As if they weren’t already hanging out.
Stark clearly didn’t have his A-game with women, in comparison to his father.

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#22
10-03-2021, 06:59 PM
^^Cirilla felt as though she was, perhaps, being too forward; too bold. Her own head was swimming, unsure about what to say; what to do? Kissing had only confused him even more, although to Cirilla, it had all been perfectly clear.

But now Stark was asking questions, as if they just hadn’t kissed, and Cirilla wasn’t sure how that had not been clear that she liked him? His next question caused her to blink, unsure what it meant to like like someone? “I don’t know what it means to like like anyone. Either I like you, or I don’t. You’re cute. You have a nice face.” And nice markings that would look good on fluffy, curly tailed babies.

And then, it clicked. He’d never done this with a female. So he had a partner, but not a female. Okay, she understood. He didn’t like females. Her ears lowered almost immediately, listening to his story about his background. His all female pack. Where did his man-lover come in, then? She waited for the part where Stark was going to tell her about his husband, but that never happened.

She stretched out a paw, in his direction for a moment. “Wait. Do you like girls or not? I’m confused.” Cirilla blinked, nervously licking over her lips as she slowly brought her paw down and blinked at him. Look who was also bad at social cues, heh.

He knew how to communicate, so was Cirilla just bad at listening? He’d told her his story, so was it Cirilla’s turn? She frowned, uncertain if she wanted… to expose herself like that to someone who might not even like her. But he had, so it was only fair, right? Right??

“Y-yeah, we should, um… hang out sometime if you want.”
^^
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#23
10-03-2021, 07:20 PM
Stark had a feeling there were misunderstandings coming from both sides now. Cirilla now looked just as confused as he did, about several things. HUH. Perhaps they both were idiots. Stark secretly kind of liked that they were both so confused because it made him feel less of a fool. ‘’Like like as in- romantically-??’’ Hhhhhh, wheeze. What even was going on, anymore? She had meant it that way, right? Or was he assuming again and being overly stupid about things?

The next question made him frown veeeeery deep. Yes, he was pretty sure he liked females? Why did she ask him that. He- he believed he’d once had a one night stand with a female during winter- if his memory was correct. Oh god. Oh god, did he leave behind children!? More internal screaming and self doubt. Never ending cycle with Stark.

‘’Uh- females.’’ Yes, yes. That had to be right. ‘’Dating guys sounds kinda weird. No offense to the guys that do.’’ It just- didn’t sound like something Stark would do. Whatever floats your boat, you know. Not Stark’s.

God, why did she have to say that last sentence of hers like that? Now it sounded like she did not want to hang out and was only agreeing because he wanted to. Unless she actually wanted to. Then that was cool but- ugh, why was it so hard to be social like a normal wolf? Maybe he had to be more- straightforward? Cirilla seemed rather straightforward.

‘’Yeah, sounds fun. Hanging out is fun.’’

Honestly Cirilla wasn’t bad company at all. They both seemed rather weird and awkward about things which honestly made Stark feel less lonely. And she was pretty.

Look at Stark go, chatting up a pretty female.

Heh.

BUT HOW WAS HE GOING TO CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION NOW??

Oh. He had an idea. ‘’Um.’’ But how did he actually start it off, HUH? ‘’Shall we um- play a game? Like- We ask each other questions and the other answers and then we uh get to know each other but if we don’t want to answer a certain question we don’t really gotta??’’

Unless- she had stuff to do and would rather do that another time. That was fine with Stark. He would wait, he was a good boy. Right? Right!?

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#24
10-03-2021, 07:40 PM
^^So much for sharing her backstory with him. She told herself that yes, this was a thing that needed to happen and then --- and then, what had she said? Yeah we can hang out if YOU want to. What the fuck was that, Cirilla? Jeez, you’re never going to get a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend.

Cirilla shrugged as he went on about how he didn’t like guys. “You never know, right?” Only, that she did, because Cirilla also liked girls. “Girls are nice. So are boys. ” Cirilla said with the nod of her head. Though now it felt like Cirilla was destined to be alone. This was fine.

And then he brought up the idea of a game. The boring ol’ 20 questions game. Her ears flattened. “But you already started. You asked me that silly question about romance.” Cirilla frowned at him. “Stark. I kissed you. Do you really think I’d kiss you if I didn’t like you romantically? Cus that’s not how I do.”
^^
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#25
10-03-2021, 08:46 PM
So- did that mean Cirilla liked both males and females? Did Stark have competition? He didn’t like that thought very much. Wait- why was he even bothered about that? More internal screaming commence. ‘’Guess I’ve never considered looking at a guy that way, before.’’ he said, trying to not sound as awkward as he felt, trying to make light of it all. But was he confused, oh my.

And then she basically told him she DID like him romantically and Stark just mentally imploded. But but but but they had only just met how did one- what how what where? ‘’That’s uh- that’s cool.’’ THAT’S COOL!? DAMN IT STARK! Stop being such an idiot!

He puffed a little at her other comment, though. ‘’That question doesn’t count.’’

But anyway. How did he feel? Come on Stark, think. How did he feel and what did he feel? ‘’But I guess I uh- I feel something too? For you? It’s weird because I don’t know what it feels like but I feel rather funny and I’ve never felt like that before either so I guess I do – uh – feel uh-’’ Say it Stark, you got it, buddy.

‘’...Romantic attraction?’’

Perhaps. It was moving quite fast, though. Stark didn’t really have time to think. He wondered what he felt, what actions he should take here. Depending on how he truly felt, he guessed he would either be really lucky or kind of regret stuff later but- honestly right now he felt really funny in a… positive way?

‘’Yeh.’’

Yeh. Yeah. That’s how it worked, right?

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