When the sun doesn't shine

Vague about what happened + slight danger of timeline vagueness too. WE SHALL SEE.

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He'd needed time to think on his own, picking a trail and following it to wherever it ended. What else was he to do? It wasn't like it was all coming back to him. There were still gaping holes that he knew were empty. If only it were possible to forget that he'd forgotten, that would be a simple answer. But that brought up another thing -- what if doing that made him forget something he really didn't want to lose forever? He wouldn't be able to live with that, would he?

It was too much to think about now, so he shuffled as much of it as he could to the back of his mind and opened his eyes to what was before him. On the downward slope of a hill he'd spotted the coast, the river, both lingering in the distance. It was still unfamiliar, but Mal was drawn towards it, for buried reasons. As if somehow it might answer his questions just by being there. No. That wasn't going to happen, of course, nothing could be that simple.

But at the cove the waters were calm, and though he came down and paused a distance from the beach and closed his eyes, listening, he could tell it was still wrong. It sounded familiar in a faint way, like the distant water was pretending to answer his memories, but he knew he was still not in the right place. Did he need to keep searching? Probably. He walked up to the water's edge, staying far enough back that it didn't touch his toes, but looking into the murky depths. Even the water seemed strange here.

+1 Discovery Points

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Day gave way to night but the constant hunger was always there. Winter coat was shedding and with it, came the visibility of her small frame and malnourished body. Her and shoulders hipbones were visible, her spine and ribs easily felt through her dusty, golden brown fur and thin skin. At night, it was almost like being underweight was forgotten. No longer could Viscaria see bone out of the corner of her eye. She could only feel the uncomfortable jabs when she laid down to sleep. The rumble in the pit of her stomach was seemingly constant and has been since she was born. 

It was with curiosity that caused the pale creature to venture away from the comfort of her makeshift den to find scraps to eat. She had found the makings of a place of rest, slinking along the bank of the water at a snail’s speed while looking for anything to call food. Like a mouse or a rabbit. Though a rabbit would have been too ambitious for her weakened state. Something more suitable would have been a carcass to poach off of. Not only was it effortless, but it saved her time and precious energy. 

What the golden wolf hadn’t expected to find was another wolf, both larger and healthier than her. That didn’t intimidate her. Instead, it irritated her because whatever small prey was there was certainly gone. A low growl was give as she stopped and picked p a rock, throwing it in front of him and into the pool. It sent water droplets everywhere - hopefully spraying him in the process. ”Don’t fall in. You might never come back up,” she rumbled, finding it hard to focus on just him given the fact that Viscaria only had one paw set in reality and the other three in the hallucinations she chose for herself.
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He'd been faintly aware of steps, but they didn't seem hurried so he didn't give it much thought. The thing that drew him out of his reverie was the growl -- it was a very quick turn of his head, and the rock flew by as he took a step back. The splash hit him, but his attention was too focused for him to do much to react to it.

The woman who stood there didn't exactly look well. Skinny, and maybe a little detached? The growl, what she said after. It didn't match what he was fairly sure an ordinary wolf should do. It was wrong somehow, pricking at the fur on the back of his neck. Mal wasn't the type to go ride in on his charger to save whatever damsel in distress might be out there -- he had far too much self-preservation to blindly walk in where things seemed, well, odd. And the knowledge that not every answer to his history was within his head made him more suspicious than usual. For all he knew he could be talking to some foe he couldn't remember. There was no point in getting himself into danger. He had no trust towards her.

But he was still escaping his own dark place, but usually it didn't seep out too far as to effect others -- other than him having a bad attitude, that is -- so though he kept his distance, his own reply was grim. “Who's to say that isn't how I got here in the first place?” It wasn't like there were any answers.
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Cream eye lids narrowed as she looked at the greyscale male before her. She should have been afraid. Afraid of his size, of his strength - any sane wolf would. But not Viscaria. Instead, she glared at him, her brown speckled cream and gold fur bristling along her visible spine. Jackie, the coyote “friend” that was more like a prisoner in her collection showed up beside her, invisible to everyone but her. “You shouldn’t poke a bear,” he whispered. Viscaria rolled her eyes in annoyance, turning toward Jackle and letting out a warning growl.

“He’s a wolf,” she hissed quietly before turning back to the male before her. She met his gaze with her own, cloudy crimson one, her lips spreading - cracking - into a smile. “Maybe you should jump in and find out... or are you running from something? I’ve never met a wolf who was t running from something....” she said. Her head tilted in thought. She wasn’t running from something. She was trying to find something. Something that was supposed to be important but she couldn’t remember. She’s was lucky she could remember her own name. Thankfully, her friends reminded her of it daily.
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It was another scenario where it felt like things didn't quite match to something that already happened. A familiar wariness, but this wasn't quite it. But the reasoning felt similar -- like someone redubbed a movie, maybe digitally replaced a character a la Star Wars. If anything, that made him more wary. As if he'd let her closer!

Why was she being so aggressive? It wasn't like Mal was doing anything to deserve it... Except she growled at.. Nothing? Uh... Okay, that was questionable. There was nothing there. Period. It was probably gonna be a good idea if he found his way out of here sooner rather than later. As mentioned before, he had no desire to put his own hide in danger. But he kept his thoughts to himself -- he seemed well practiced at keeping his internal dialog separate from his rather inoffensive outer shell. “Not thanks, not really my thing. And well, now you have I guess. Hard to run from something in a place where there's nothing you know or knows you.” He wasn't sure if that would help or hurt his case -- and it wasn't 100% true, but the part that knew him didn't really give a damn as far as he could tell, so didn't really matter. But if it pissed her off, he wasn't the sort to stick around, let alone be within grabbing range. “Does that mean you're running?” He figured that had 50-50 chance at either pissing her off or keeping her distracted and he was hoping for the latter.
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If only she had a little something in her belly to mix with the bile sloshing around... she’d be further into the realm of reality instead of deeper into the forest of chaos. She’s be able to act with more reason. She’s be able to focus on both words that were spoken and the physical form of others. But that meant her friends would go into that slumber of theirs and their voices would quiet in her mind. She didn’t want that. They were the only constant in her life.

But was she running? No. Not that she knew of. Perhaps she was, but Viscaria wasn’t afraid of anything. That was an emotion left out of her emotional makeup since birth. Honey legs folded beneath her as her hind end lowered to the hard ground. Gold and cream ears perked forward, seeming too large for her small frame. “No. I’m searching - but for what? I do not remember. Only that it is important I find it.”

Poor, poor Viscaria could not remember that the “it” was a “who” and the “who” was her daughter. A daughter that was stollen from her teet a little to soon by a father that was also a brother. Viscaria had been nothing but an unwilling vessel to his plan to continue to be king. The violation and theft was what sent the real female further into her realm of hallucination. Perhaps it was better she did not remember. “So are you sad then? Upset that no one knows you and you know no one? Are you running from...emotions?” she asked, genuinely curious now that her hunger was forgotten.
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In a way, it seemed like he'd made the right choice. She stopped lurching and growling and instead sat. Should he do the same? He wasn't sure. He'd give it some thought. But just because she wasn't actively acting like she might try to gut him, that didn't mean that her trying to search for things he wasn't willing to share with a stranger was any more comfortable -- and she was a stranger. A potentially dangerous one, too.

He could relate in a way. Maybe more than he'd admit -- certainly more than he'd let on. “This place is odd. It sounds like it does stuff to people's minds. Maybe with time comes clarity.” It was all he could offer -- he knew next to nobody, nowhere, nor did he even have a sense of his own time. It was a mess. And honestly, Mal really didn't want to parallel her in any way, but he didn't have much of a choice. She'd already gone first, after all. “No,” was the answer to most of those. “I have questions that need answers, but only just started looking. And it's the sort of thing where I'll know it when I see it, questions and all.” It was the best way he could phrase it to not invite too much prodding. Plausible deniability.

Either way, he'd relaxed a little bit -- but not quite enough to sit down as of yet. Maybe next post.
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It did do things to her mind. Almost like she was more desperate than she originally had been. Almost like she was close to finding what she needed to find and then it was taken away right before reason seemed to click in her mind. It had all started when she got into the mountains. Perhaps that was where the answers were and she only needed to keep searching.

She couldn't search without fuel and that meant finding something to eat. She licked her dry lips, the blood already clinging to her skin. “Perhaps we will both find the answers we are looking for soon,” she said in a rare moment of kindness. She stood then, walking toward the large male. “In the mean time, I was looking for food.... tracking a mouse that had been coming this way. Have you seen it?” she asked, crimson gaze looking down at the ground as if the mouse would come out and greet her.

Perhaps it would. Perhaps she could save it's teeny, tiny skull as the smallest in her collection. Or maybe it would be too frail. Viscaria despised anything that was frail. She looked it, but if anyone knew the femme, they would know that Viscaria was anything but that. She was strong in pure resilience, having endured more than most and still lived. She was too stubborn to succumb.
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For a brief moment Mal thought the strangeness was a passing thing. Her moment of clarity, of humanity, or whatever you'd wish to call it was understandable. This world was weird, but Mal wasn't sure if it was it or him. It was cruel enough as it was, but he would find his footing... Eventually. What it meant long term, though, he wasn't sure.

She was on the move again, “A mouse?” His brain fizzed a little as she got closer. He still was not very interested in letting her actually do so. “Uh.” He looked around, stepping back and sort of scanning around by sight and scent. “I'm sorry, I hadn't been hunting out here. I hadn't been looking.” Which was very true. He'd been listening and looking for answers, not anything edible. “Right here you might have more luck with fish -- I'm afraid that's not my strength though.” Would it be better to help or just leave? Both seemed dangerous in their own ways. “Back towards the shrubs is more likely for your mouse.” Rather than inches from the shores -- there wasn't food here, and he wasn't really sure if the water was drinkable here when the sea was nearby. It might be brackish.
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Was he nervous around her? She didn’t know, nor did she care. Viscaria was wrapped up in her own little world, uncaring of the measly opinions of others. Maybe she should have been, but she already made it this far in her life without. She caught the male moving backward, but continued to advance, her ebon nose twitching as she took in his scent.

“Yes, a mouse,” she said? Her house almost mocking as she met his gaze with her dull, crimson one. Her eyes almost seemed too large for her face due to the lack of fat in her cheeks. She snorted, glancing back toward the shrub. She knew what she originally saw and she saw a mouse! Viscaria took several slow, deep breathes. She’d never admit that someone else was right, perhaps because she hardly had conversations with others. Her mind didn’t work like others.

But he did have a point. Her gaze lazily lowered to the water. “I’ve never had a fish before. Have you? Are they easy to hunt?” Her head tilted to the side in curiousity, her body carrying her forward as he attention turned toward the dark depths of the water next to Mal... unless he moved away, she’d only be a few inches from him. He’d notice her body lacked the heat of a normal, healthy wolf.
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When she came close, he turned away, heading along the shore briefly, giving it a brief look. He wasn't great at spotting any sign of fish, but they probably were far out, weren't they? Dark. Blue. Too dangerous for him. And given how this little arc of water was, the river and sea beyond were probably no better. Some other wolf could enjoy it. The only details there were the water and the glint of the light on it. Fish were invisible.

“I have,” he thought... He couldn't really remember. “I didn't try to catch them, usually. Other people did.” Or at least, sounded right. “The water looks pretty deep. Probably not easy for a novice to catch them here.” Too bad. Or something. He wanted to get away from her -- she was too weird. Something about the water seemed to bring out the weird in people, or at least that was the feeling he was getting. Mal wasn't a fan of this place -- he needed to go elsewhere. Away. “Look, either way, there's nothing really here for me. I'm gonna be heading off. Hope you find your mouse, or something else like that.” He didn't want to stay and hunt for her, he didn't want to risk her attacking him because she'd gone off the metaphorical deep end. Heck, he just wasn't fond of weird in general.

+1 Discovery Points

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Viscaria’s cream-hued lids narrowed. She knew someone backing out from experience. She looked at the water and then looked at the seemingly younger - and equally lost - male. Ruby eyes eyed him specifically as he made it known that he was no going to help her and that he’d be on his way.

Teeth snapped, irritated with both him and the fact that she was one of the unlucky creatures in the universe. Ears flattened against her head, tongue slithering over her finally clotted lips. No more blood. But she liked the taste. It gave her the illusion that she was eating. Viscaria briefly wondered if fish had that same taste. If their blood was the same as a mouse, squirrel or rabbit.

Probably not.

“Fine. Be on your way then,” she growled softly. “Useless cretin,” she muttered, turning her back on the male. At that point, Viscaria did not know if she was referring to herself or the other wolf. She stood tall - as tall as she could get - and scanned the area for dinner. “See anything Skeek?” she asked her trusty, invisible companion. He’d help her find something since her own kind wouldn’t.
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Maybe in a way he was letting her down. Perhaps later he'd think back and decide he made the wrong decision to not go hunt something for her. Mal was a good guy, but not that good, apparently. His wariness won out over his ability to do good. He'd already wished her well, so he left it at that and finally started to head off.

And Mal? Well, he wasn't one to look back. He took off at a quick trot back inland, looking to find himself lost beneath the canopy where he didn't feel exposed... And where he could avoid people that he didn't want to talk to. Though there were (probably) plenty he did want to see, the woman at the cove wasn't among them. It wouldn't be long before he'd disappear into the trees.
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