it's too late for me now, i am altered

There is something
b e n e a t h

He moved east this day, a bundle wrapped tight in his jaws as he loped across the vague, nondescript looking lands. Vaguely, distantly, the northerner remembered something being here, though oddly, he could not remember exactly what. Had the jungle he'd met the winter-woman in been around here? The question would occupy his thoughts for a good portion of the time he had left of his hike.

It was evening by the time he arrived, sun hanging low in the sky, behind clouds of various shapes and sizes. Pale paws would draw him to a slow and easy stop as he began to recognize the area, the place where he had met the lovely Kallista again. She had lingered in his mind on and off, which had led him to where he was now. Slowing to a stop, Stjörnuáti would set the bundle of fur and skin he carried — dried herbs and plants tucked safely within it — and toss his gilded head back and call for her, quietly curious if Tove would be close enough to hear him.

the staff team luvs u

She ran, a steady pace with purposeless steps, her jaws parted in a pant. Dirt flew up with each stride, her claws digging into the icy grounds with ease. Running, running. She didn’t even know where she was going.

Tove just knew she wanted to clear some of the fog in her mind and breathe. Savan, Faust, Tamir and even the blackbird - they had all been watching her closer, keeping her there. She was sure everyone was just waiting for her to break down, to collapse in a ball of tears, or, worst of all, rage.

But she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to be weak. She wasn’t weak. Her mind flashed to that night and despite the way it made her stomach churn and her body quiver, she was sure she would have kept biting if she hadn’t been saved. She would have drawn more than just a sliver of blood. She would have made him hurt.

Sometimes she swore she could still taste his blood on her tongue and it made her feel things she could not even begin to comprehend and wasn’t so sure she liked.

So, no. Tove didn’t want to break. She wasn’t leaving, she wasn’t running to escape.
She just wanted to breathe. To feel the wind on her furs, against her face and move without expectation. She planned to be back before too long, ready for whatever words she was met with.

Lifting her snout to the sky, enjoying the brisk air, she kept on until a distant howl carried by the winds danced in her ears. It was familiar, friendly.. At first she hesitated, knowing very well the masks men could wear, but with a huff, she quickened her pace and headed towards it.

It didn’t take long and by the time she was near enough to smell him and then to see him, she had slowed, breaths heavy as she caught her breath.

“Stjor,” she greeted quietly with a nod of her head, hesitantly, keeping her distance for now. While a friendly face she quite liked, she couldn’t ignore the doubt that polluted her mind now -the dark what-ifs that hung in the air.

the staff team luvs u

As if summoned from the ether around him, the woman cloaked in silky russets and chestnuts answered his call swiftly. He could not help the way his eyebrows lifted slightly, surprised by her so-swift appearance. She swept as though she owned the beautiful, dilapidated place of stone and he almost, almost felt the urge to bow and worship her in any way that pleased her. There was a certain aura that shifted around her, pulling her to him as though she had him by a lead. His heels dug in the slightest bit.

“Tove,” He repeated her name in kind, a slow wave to his tail. Maroon eyes watched her for a long moment, a long few moments, before he breathed deep and nodded to the packet of herbs and plant life at his feet, indicating to her that her own attention should shift here as well. “This one has brought Tove a gift.”
the staff team luvs u

At first, Tove stayed put, watching him carefully as she waited for her heart to calm and breathing to still. Her gaze seemed to soften, the corner of her lips tugging upwards into a faint smile as he uttered her name and she relished in it, enjoying the way it sounded coming from him.

He had always been kind to her, a thought that lingered in her mind, even as doubts and shadows crept in.

When Stjor spoke of a gift, her viridescent gaze flickered down towards the offering at his paws and her eyes widened in surprise. Tove wanted decline, to say he didn’t have too or that she just couldn't accept but before any words could leave her, her nimble limbs were already carrying her forward. He must have known that it would have been too tempting after their last encounter when he'd won her focus by there mere mention of mushrooms.

She stopped just before him and leaned down to nose at the hide, inhaling the scents that clung to it with a gentle sway of her tail. Tove took note of each dried herb, plant - all of it and her heart seemed to swell with gratitude. “Thank you,” she murmured, the words quiet between them.

A playful glint sparkled in her eyes and her nose wrinkled as she pulled back with, and once more created a bit of distance between them, keeping her eyes glued to Stjor's golden furs. His scent was strong and it was easier to focus from here, she told herself. Safer. She'd grab the hide later. “You sure know a way to a girl's heart, don’t you?” Her laughter echoed in the quiet space, a gentle tease.

Still chuckling as her cheeks flushed, Tove continued with a tilt of her head, curious. It had been awhile since she'd seen him. It felt like a lifetime. “What are you doing out here?” Her gaze left him then, admiring the ancient ruins they had found themselves in again together.

the staff team luvs u

She closed that distance to linger before him, taking her time to sniff and discover the herbs he had gifted her; there were a few more common place things, assorted herbs that were always needed, but among them was vervain, and valerian root. Arnica, even. Things that were often thought of as flowers, or forgotten about because they lived in soil. But how useful they were was not lost on the stareater. It was why he had brought some of it to her.

He would watch as she danced away, kept his gaze locked with hers, tempted to follow and not allow her to widen that gap once more. But again, he stayed, though his teeth flashed in a charming grin at her observation. His shoulders rolled in an easy fashion, shrugging as though he had no idea what she was talking about. But he did. “This one was taught of spreading knowledge as if seeds” Stjornuati would answer Tove, his gaze never leaving her. “And also of nourishing passions.”

What passions, he would not explain, though the obvious was her passion for her craft. It could have been something more, should she desire to understand it that way.

His next answer was easy, and matter-of-fact. “Tove. It is where this one met Tove last and assumed you could be near.” He’d been right, of course, but even if he hadn’t… “There was plan to hide Tove’s gift among the mooshrooms should she not grace this one with presence.” because who else would have gone near the red-capped mushrooms, if they didn’t k ow if they were poisonous or not.
the staff team luvs u

“You’ll get no complaints from me,” the Kallista admitted with her own grin, meeting his gaze as she took a seat, her tail coming to rest atop her paws. She didn’t say it but she was thankful he didn’t follow her, remembering just how forward he’d been during this last encounter. Personal space had not been a concern of his, in fact, he’d had touched her so easily one may have thought they’d been lifelong friends.

Tove found that her cheeks stayed warm as he held her gaze and hers dropped as soon as his answer came. It was sure, quick and left her blinking in surprise. He really had come out here just for her? She couldn't fully fathom as to why; she wasn’t part of his pack, or anything special. She was just Tove and he was well, a Jarl.

She held back a chuckle when he spoke of hiding it for her in the ‘mooshrooms’, still finding his word choice funny. Cute, even. She didn’t think she’d ever correct him on that one - she liked it too much. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.” She wondered just how long Stjor would have waited for her. A few minutes? A few hours?

“I haven’t been out here in a while,” she continued quietly, shifting nervously in her seat, chewing at her lip before she offered him a soft smile. She didn’t say it aloud but she hoped her smile was enough to tell him she was glad he was here. Glad she had chosen today to come out.

“Will no one miss you from home?” It was nosy and she was crossing the boundaries she had set for herself but she was curious. While she knew Stjor was the Jarl of his pack, she found herself wondering if he had anyone particularly close to him? Family? Friends? A wife?

She really didn't know much about him, did she?

the staff team luvs u

Tove was ethereal, somehow. Effervescent and out of reach. Her expressions and mannerisms were a code he had not cracked, a language he did not yet speak. He could learn, certainly, and he felt a desire to do so, but it would take time. This was only the third or fourth time they had met, afterall — had it really been so little? — and it would take time to learn a language that was foreign to him. But just as he had learned the many tongues that sifted through his mind, he wanted to learn to understand Tove’s intricacies, too. The question was, would she allow him to?

Her hopes were only answered with a small grin, a smooth roll of his shoulders. “This one has not been to this place sense… ah… since? the time of last.” An ear flickered, the only sign of his agitation towards his grasp on the common tongue, or rather his lack thereof. “Hringja called this one here.”

At her question, his head would tilt slightly, a boyish look coming over him in that moment. Waiting for him? Perhaps Synin, but his siblings were not there, and he had no — well, really. He had no one other than Synin now, did he? Ashe had gone off to Winterhelm to be a Queen and he… had his mountain. He had his friend, @Bartel, and the company of the boy he’d taken in, @Monarch, but other than that…

“No. what of Tove? No man waits for her at the borders?”
the staff team luvs u

Tove couldn’t place why she felt nervous before the golden brute or why she seemed to care what he thought, even before the most recent events. Perhaps it was merely his duality that ventured into a world that was oh so familiar and dear to her. Or the fact that he was older than her, more taught. She wasn't quite sure, she only knew that there was something else there. Something that made her heed his call so quickly and why, with every exchange of glances, a warmth would grace her cheeks and an airy sensation fluttered in her chest.

Her brows furrowed as the questions turned to her and a subtle frown whispered across her face. She had a family - Savan, Tamir, Faust - they were all waiting for her. But she knew that wasn’t what he was asking, not what he really wanted to know. She wished she could say yes, to tell him she had everything she wanted.

“No,” Tove shook her head, avoiding his gaze, her words escaping in a hushed and hesitant tone. Even as she said it, it felt wrong. The words burned her tongue, made her stomach churn. “I don’t have a man waiting for me. Tove is Ógift.”

As she finished, she looked up at him, her eyes wide. A small smile played on her lips as she offered up a word in his tongue, something she had been holding out on. Why? She didn’t really know. She hadn’t trusted him at first, hadn't seen a reason too. Tove thought back to that night, where he’d just been a formidable beast she’d met on the borders, their interaction formal and quick. Nothing compared to now. Whatever now was.

the staff team luvs u